"Bunda, bunda kok tambah gendut sih?"
*pukpuk perut*
"Tuh kan, ... enak kaya bantal. Aaaa... Titan pengen bobo di perut Bunda ajaaaa"
*boboan*
I love you and ...
... I am blessed that you are loved by many people too.
Well,
as we know it, you got [krey-zee] about Titanic for the past months as you wrote here.
Hence, you do not need to figure-out how people know about this current fetish of yours :)
Because sometimes, to know someone is not always through the words they say.
But rather through what they showed to people.
Yet you showed us your titanic drawings.
Your titanic lego.
Your history path on our YouTube (keyword: Titanic sinking ship).
And they were how we know how much you mad about the maiden cruise of Titanic.
Thanks to Tante @dialita who found the book for you.
She even gave you her Titanic exhibition ticket (no Malicca, she did not survived from the lifeboat like you thought *LOL)
So by all means,
you should be grateful for your life.
For the people around you.
Because you were loved. By many.
Remember that, always.
Well,
as we know it, you got [krey-zee] about Titanic for the past months as you wrote here.
Hence, you do not need to figure-out how people know about this current fetish of yours :)
Because sometimes, to know someone is not always through the words they say.
But rather through what they showed to people.
Yet you showed us your titanic drawings.
Your titanic lego.
Your history path on our YouTube (keyword: Titanic sinking ship).
And they were how we know how much you mad about the maiden cruise of Titanic.
Thanks to Tante @dialita who found the book for you.
She even gave you her Titanic exhibition ticket (no Malicca, she did not survived from the lifeboat like you thought *LOL)
So by all means,
you should be grateful for your life.
For the people around you.
Because you were loved. By many.
Remember that, always.
a love letter
Dear Malicca,
you have been giving me things all along.
Start from your paintings, drawings, stories you made yourself or letters.
Today, I got another letter from you.
But of all letters you gave me, this one is a bit different.
I felt this one is more ... personal.
It was like you wrote it from the bottom of your heart.
It was like you were telling me how disappointed you were (because I left you to the office),
... but you loved me nevertheless (I knew it from your closing lines).
Terima kasih ya sayang,
and one thing for sure;
I never felt a single bit of boredom taking care of you and your little sister.
You are my children.
It is just sometimes, ... or many times,
mom got to do what mom got to do.
And you will know, those are all for you.
I love you nonetheless!
you have been giving me things all along.
Start from your paintings, drawings, stories you made yourself or letters.
Today, I got another letter from you.
But of all letters you gave me, this one is a bit different.
I felt this one is more ... personal.
It was like you wrote it from the bottom of your heart.
It was like you were telling me how disappointed you were (because I left you to the office),
... but you loved me nevertheless (I knew it from your closing lines).
Terima kasih ya sayang,
and one thing for sure;
I never felt a single bit of boredom taking care of you and your little sister.
You are my children.
It is just sometimes, ... or many times,
mom got to do what mom got to do.
And you will know, those are all for you.
I love you nonetheless!
Thank you (again) my son
If you are a regular reader of my blog, you may remember my post about what i thought was wrong about rising a kid. Yet the hypothesis is proven day by day.
This time, I am challenged to be a better mom. A better person, by enhancing my listening skill which I thought I am good enough. But one night, I realized that mine was poor.
I may have listened to what my friends shared. I may have listened good or bad news. I may have listened to what the universe said. Or my heart. But listening to a little kid, bragging about one thing over and over and over again, that is the particular part I need to elaborate (now I sound like an Account Servicing, using the word ‘elaborate’).
Who doesn’t want to have a kid with a good listening skill? Not only it will bring them to a nice circle of friendship, good listening skill also brings kids to a better cognitive development. Because only with good listening skill, kids can digest the direction given before they do their worksheet at school. But how can they become a good listener if we, parents, are not a good listener themselves.
I was also challenged to face the reality that my baby boy is no longer a baby boy. He is now a big boy with his personal space and ownership. I must now respect his privacy.
(Oh, I still cannot take that a little man can also have a thing called prahy-vuh-see
***
I tugged malicca to bed that night. To his room upstairs, together with me and baby Laluna. Like always, he brushed his teeth before bed. While putting the toothpaste to his toothbrush, he told me about his toy. Yes for the two thousands nine hundreds and twenty three times. I was carrying Luna and left the door half-opened while listening to him. Soon as he stopped, I smiled and closed the door. I put baby Laluna to bed.
And the door opened. There, my beloved son was standing and looked at me in the eye.
“I had not finished talking, Bunda. I was talking still and when I looked back; all I saw was the door closing. Why did you close the door?” He asked me seriously.
I got stuttered. “I thought you were finished.” I defended myself.
“I was not.” He said with a rolling eyes.
Then he moved to his closet, looked it around and spotted what he looked for: the book section. He picked Dr. Seus’s while saying “... and why did you clean up the closet? Would you ask permission first, Bunda? This is my room.”
I was like ... oh wow. My baby boy is now a big boy and wanted me to put more respect on him.
"I am sorry." I said.
Two strikes! Yes, two strikes my son. You stroke me twice in the eye. You want me to respect you more by listening to what you say, and you want me to respect your personal space and I felt bad for having trespassed your privacy.
Thank you, my son.
Thank you for reminding me to be a better listener. Thank you for reminding me to always put my respect to you. Sorry for taking you for granted; that you are still my little baby boy and so I do everything for you. Sorry I have forgotten that “Let Me” is your keyword now. And thank you to remind me; that sometimes, a good will can be bad only because we do it wrong.
This time, I am challenged to be a better mom. A better person, by enhancing my listening skill which I thought I am good enough. But one night, I realized that mine was poor.
I may have listened to what my friends shared. I may have listened good or bad news. I may have listened to what the universe said. Or my heart. But listening to a little kid, bragging about one thing over and over and over again, that is the particular part I need to elaborate (now I sound like an Account Servicing, using the word ‘elaborate’).
Who doesn’t want to have a kid with a good listening skill? Not only it will bring them to a nice circle of friendship, good listening skill also brings kids to a better cognitive development. Because only with good listening skill, kids can digest the direction given before they do their worksheet at school. But how can they become a good listener if we, parents, are not a good listener themselves.
I was also challenged to face the reality that my baby boy is no longer a baby boy. He is now a big boy with his personal space and ownership. I must now respect his privacy.
(Oh, I still cannot take that a little man can also have a thing called prahy-vuh-see
***
I tugged malicca to bed that night. To his room upstairs, together with me and baby Laluna. Like always, he brushed his teeth before bed. While putting the toothpaste to his toothbrush, he told me about his toy. Yes for the two thousands nine hundreds and twenty three times. I was carrying Luna and left the door half-opened while listening to him. Soon as he stopped, I smiled and closed the door. I put baby Laluna to bed.
And the door opened. There, my beloved son was standing and looked at me in the eye.
“I had not finished talking, Bunda. I was talking still and when I looked back; all I saw was the door closing. Why did you close the door?” He asked me seriously.
I got stuttered. “I thought you were finished.” I defended myself.
“I was not.” He said with a rolling eyes.
Then he moved to his closet, looked it around and spotted what he looked for: the book section. He picked Dr. Seus’s while saying “... and why did you clean up the closet? Would you ask permission first, Bunda? This is my room.”
I was like ... oh wow. My baby boy is now a big boy and wanted me to put more respect on him.
"I am sorry." I said.
Two strikes! Yes, two strikes my son. You stroke me twice in the eye. You want me to respect you more by listening to what you say, and you want me to respect your personal space and I felt bad for having trespassed your privacy.
Thank you, my son.
Thank you for reminding me to be a better listener. Thank you for reminding me to always put my respect to you. Sorry for taking you for granted; that you are still my little baby boy and so I do everything for you. Sorry I have forgotten that “Let Me” is your keyword now. And thank you to remind me; that sometimes, a good will can be bad only because we do it wrong.
If you are a regular reader of my blog, you may remember my post about what i thought was wrong about rising a kid. Yet the hypothesis is proven day by day.
This time, I am challenged to be a better mom. A better person, by enhancing my listening skill which I thought I am good enough. But one night, I realized that mine was poor.
I may have listened to what my friends shared. I may have listened good or bad news. I may have listened to what the universe said. Or my heart. But listening to a little kid, bragging about one thing over and over and over again, that is the particular part I need to elaborate (now I sound like an Account Servicing, using the word ‘elaborate’).
Who doesn’t want to have a kid with a good listening skill? Not only it will bring them to a nice circle of friendship, good listening skill also brings kids to a better cognitive development. Because only with good listening skill, kids can digest the direction given before they do their worksheet at school. But how can they become a good listener if we, parents, are not a good listener themselves.
I was also challenged to face the reality that my baby boy is no longer a baby boy. He is now a big boy with his personal space and ownership. I must now respect his privacy.
(Oh, I still cannot take that a little man can also have a thing called prahy-vuh-see
***
I tugged malicca to bed that night. To his room upstairs, together with me and baby Laluna. Like always, he brushed his teeth before bed. While putting the toothpaste to his toothbrush, he told me about his toy. Yes for the two thousands nine hundreds and twenty three times. I was carrying Luna and left the door half-opened while listening to him. Soon as he stopped, I smiled and closed the door. I put baby Laluna to bed.
And the door opened. There, my beloved son was standing and looked at me in the eye.
“I had not finished talking, Bunda. I was talking still and when I looked back; all I saw was the door closing. Why did you close the door?” He asked me seriously.
I got stuttered. “I thought you were finished.” I defended myself.
“I was not.” He said with a rolling eyes.
Then he moved to his closet, looked it around and spotted what he looked for: the book section. He picked Dr. Seus’s while saying “... and why did you clean up the closet? Would you ask permission first, Bunda? This is my room.”
I was like ... oh wow. My baby boy is now a big boy and wanted me to put more respect on him.
"I am sorry." I said.
Two strikes! Yes, two strikes my son. You stroke me twice in the eye. You want me to respect you more by listening to what you say, and you want me to respect your personal space and I felt bad for having trespassed your privacy.
Thank you, my son.
Thank you for reminding me to be a better listener. Thank you for reminding me to always put my respect to you. Sorry for taking you for granted; that you are still my little baby boy and so I do everything for you. Sorry I have forgotten that “Let Me” is your keyword now. And thank you to remind me; that sometimes, a good will can be bad only because we do it wrong.
This time, I am challenged to be a better mom. A better person, by enhancing my listening skill which I thought I am good enough. But one night, I realized that mine was poor.
I may have listened to what my friends shared. I may have listened good or bad news. I may have listened to what the universe said. Or my heart. But listening to a little kid, bragging about one thing over and over and over again, that is the particular part I need to elaborate (now I sound like an Account Servicing, using the word ‘elaborate’).
Who doesn’t want to have a kid with a good listening skill? Not only it will bring them to a nice circle of friendship, good listening skill also brings kids to a better cognitive development. Because only with good listening skill, kids can digest the direction given before they do their worksheet at school. But how can they become a good listener if we, parents, are not a good listener themselves.
I was also challenged to face the reality that my baby boy is no longer a baby boy. He is now a big boy with his personal space and ownership. I must now respect his privacy.
(Oh, I still cannot take that a little man can also have a thing called prahy-vuh-see
***
I tugged malicca to bed that night. To his room upstairs, together with me and baby Laluna. Like always, he brushed his teeth before bed. While putting the toothpaste to his toothbrush, he told me about his toy. Yes for the two thousands nine hundreds and twenty three times. I was carrying Luna and left the door half-opened while listening to him. Soon as he stopped, I smiled and closed the door. I put baby Laluna to bed.
And the door opened. There, my beloved son was standing and looked at me in the eye.
“I had not finished talking, Bunda. I was talking still and when I looked back; all I saw was the door closing. Why did you close the door?” He asked me seriously.
I got stuttered. “I thought you were finished.” I defended myself.
“I was not.” He said with a rolling eyes.
Then he moved to his closet, looked it around and spotted what he looked for: the book section. He picked Dr. Seus’s while saying “... and why did you clean up the closet? Would you ask permission first, Bunda? This is my room.”
I was like ... oh wow. My baby boy is now a big boy and wanted me to put more respect on him.
"I am sorry." I said.
Two strikes! Yes, two strikes my son. You stroke me twice in the eye. You want me to respect you more by listening to what you say, and you want me to respect your personal space and I felt bad for having trespassed your privacy.
Thank you, my son.
Thank you for reminding me to be a better listener. Thank you for reminding me to always put my respect to you. Sorry for taking you for granted; that you are still my little baby boy and so I do everything for you. Sorry I have forgotten that “Let Me” is your keyword now. And thank you to remind me; that sometimes, a good will can be bad only because we do it wrong.
Papa
and today, also for the several times, i asked you why.
and here was what you said.
"
So I can protect you, Bunda.
And I can go to work to the office so you don't have to go to work anymore.
"
aduh, terharu mendengarnya.
let's call it a night
Tulisan ini bukan urban legend, tapi bukan juga realitas eksakta. pengalaman ini semata-mata asumsi yang subjektif sifatnya. tapi malam ini saya belajar, bahwa saya harus lebih berhati-hati lagi dalam berkata-kata. karena kata adalah doa. dan bahwa doa di hari arafah adalah sebaik-baiknya doa, yang makbul untuk dikabulkan.
dan malam ini, adalah malam di hari idul adha.lalu, tak lama kemudian, kami semua berjalan ke rumah orang tua saya untuk bersantap sate kambing bersama. kami berjalan beriringan, melewati pohon mangga besar di belakang rumah yang kebetulan memang gelap.
saat saya makan, luna mulai cranky karena panas dan mungkin asap sate yang mulai merasuki rumah. ariawan lalu segera membawanya pulang ke kamar untuk menidurkannya sementara titan masih asyik ikut membakar sate sama si uwak. tapi kemudian saya mendengar suara tangis luna yang luar biasa kerasnya. belum pernah saya mendengar ia menangis sekeras ini, apalagi luna termasuk golongan bayi yang 'anteng'. dan ketika itu saya sedang berada di rumah orang tua saya yang letaknya berseberangan dengan rumah saya.
segera saya berlari ke rumah lalu naik ke atas dimana luna berada. ternyata ariawan lagi menggendong-gendong luna di luar kamar. dengan tenang, segera saya peluk, bawa ke kamar, lalu saya susui. biasanya, menyusui adalah senjata paling ampuh untuk membuat bayi menjadi lebih tenang. tapi, tidak kali ini.
segera saya berlari ke rumah lalu naik ke atas dimana luna berada. ternyata ariawan lagi menggendong-gendong luna di luar kamar. dengan tenang, segera saya peluk, bawa ke kamar, lalu saya susui. biasanya, menyusui adalah senjata paling ampuh untuk membuat bayi menjadi lebih tenang. tapi, tidak kali ini.
luna menyusu sambil marah-marah dan berkali-kali melepas dan meronta-ronta dari pelukan saya. saya pun mulai memeriksa setiap senti tubuhnya, takut ada yang terluka atau perut yang kolik. tidak ada sesuatu yang salah dengan tubuhnya, dan saya pun mulai bertanya-tanya.
selama ia menangis dengan sangat keras, saya lihat ariawan terduduk dan matanya terpejam. ini juga aneh, biasanya kalau luna menangis sekeras ini dia pasti ikut sibuk mencoba untuk menenangkan.
akhirnya ariawan pun membuka matanya. dengan tenang ia berkata "dibawa keluar aja dulu, biar tenang." lalu saya meninggalkan ariawan dan membawa luna ke teras atas. biasanya, luna menjadi lebih tenang kalau terkena sepoi angin dan melihat langit. untungnya, begitu juga malam itu.
selama ia menangis dengan sangat keras, saya lihat ariawan terduduk dan matanya terpejam. ini juga aneh, biasanya kalau luna menangis sekeras ini dia pasti ikut sibuk mencoba untuk menenangkan.
akhirnya ariawan pun membuka matanya. dengan tenang ia berkata "dibawa keluar aja dulu, biar tenang." lalu saya meninggalkan ariawan dan membawa luna ke teras atas. biasanya, luna menjadi lebih tenang kalau terkena sepoi angin dan melihat langit. untungnya, begitu juga malam itu.
cukup lama saya berdiri menggendong dan membisik doa di telinga luna sampai akhirnya ia pun terpejam dengan sisa sesegukan. tak lama, ariawan pun keluar kamar dan menyuruh saya masuk. saya pun menurut.
begitu melangkah memasuki kamar, luna pun tiba-tiba segera membuka matanya dan menangis lagi. tapi kemudian langsung berhenti dan tertidur.
begitu melangkah memasuki kamar, luna pun tiba-tiba segera membuka matanya dan menangis lagi. tapi kemudian langsung berhenti dan tertidur.
setelah pulas, barulah ariawan 'menegur' saya untuk berhati-hati bicara. sempat saya bertanya-tanya apa salah saya sampai kemudian dia bertanya "tadi ngomong apa waktu nakut-nakutin titan? dikiranya dibolehin masuk deh. nih, masih menempel di aku."
"oh, keluarin tolong keluariiiiin..." kataku panik.
"enggak tahu gimana caranya" tampik ariawan.
"what should I do, then?" tanyaku.
"istigfar. ya berdoa aja." katanya tenang.
doa ya sudah dari tadi, aku pikir. tapi kalau masih belum pergi juga, kan saya jadi mempertanyakan keampuhan doa itu. makin pelik, deh. tapi saya tetap berdoa anyway. meminta maaf pada si Empunya setiap ciptaan dan memohon lindunganNya. tadinya sempat mau meminta maaf pada si 'pendatang' karena saya tidak bermaksud mempermainkan dan mengundang dia. tapi ah ... kok rasanya enggak benar.
doa ya sudah dari tadi, aku pikir. tapi kalau masih belum pergi juga, kan saya jadi mempertanyakan keampuhan doa itu. makin pelik, deh. tapi saya tetap berdoa anyway. meminta maaf pada si Empunya setiap ciptaan dan memohon lindunganNya. tadinya sempat mau meminta maaf pada si 'pendatang' karena saya tidak bermaksud mempermainkan dan mengundang dia. tapi ah ... kok rasanya enggak benar.
tak lama setelah luna tertidur, lalu saya pun ingin segera menjemput titan yang masih asyik bermain bakar-bakaran di bawah pohon mangga yang gelap.
saya tidak pernah dan tidak mau memiliki pengalaman yang klenik secara fisik. sudah cukup melalui mimpi-mimpi saya saja. tapi tidak dengan malam itu.
saya tidak pernah dan tidak mau memiliki pengalaman yang klenik secara fisik. sudah cukup melalui mimpi-mimpi saya saja. tapi tidak dengan malam itu.
saya pun menuruni tangga ke bawah, ke arah teras belakang rumah dan menyeberang ke arah rumah orang tua saya. tepat di bawah tangga yang menuju kamar pembantu, tepat di dekat saluran air, tiba-tiba entah kenapa saya merasakan panas dan bulu kuduk yang berdiri , menjalar perlahan mulai dari kaki hingga ke leher belakang. hanya bagian kanan. saya sempat berdiri terdiam, lalu segera saya tepis dengan tangan sambil mengucap istighfar.
saya jemput titan untuk mencuci muka, cuci kaki, ganti baju dan membacakannya cerita sebelum tidur sampai akhirnya ia pun terlelap. tapi, saya terjaga sepanjang malam. saya tatap wajah anak-anak yang tertidur, saya peluk mereka semua takut mereka terganggu lagi. titan di kiri, luna di kanan. saya menyesal. saya memohon ampunan atas lalainya saya dan anak-anaklah yang harus menerima akibatnya.
saya jemput titan untuk mencuci muka, cuci kaki, ganti baju dan membacakannya cerita sebelum tidur sampai akhirnya ia pun terlelap. tapi, saya terjaga sepanjang malam. saya tatap wajah anak-anak yang tertidur, saya peluk mereka semua takut mereka terganggu lagi. titan di kiri, luna di kanan. saya menyesal. saya memohon ampunan atas lalainya saya dan anak-anaklah yang harus menerima akibatnya.
kemudian saya teringat kata-kata orang tua dulu. untuk tidak bicara yang tidak baik, karena nanti didengar setan dan bisa kejadian. sesal tak ayal, seandainya tadi saya mengucap kebaikan dan benar-benar kejadian seperti barusan.
while you were working...
... these were what happened to my life.
home, backyard, family & friends, new place, new experience, more children books, oh I can do this everyday. I'm gonna master it for sure hahaha
Perfect Timing
Dear Malicca,
one day you will learn there is no such a thing as perfect timing.
One day, you will also learn that it is not about waiting for the perfect time;
but it is all about how to make time.
Today is my last day of my 3 months maternity leave and today is your Student Lead Conference for term 1. It means, tomorrow I am going back to work as well as you will start having your holiday. Yes, again having your holiday without me. But with all your plans on how you will spend your holiday, I am sure we will have good time for the time we will make :)
Anyways,
You did a good job for your presentation at SLC. Have some homework to catch up, of course.
That would be reducing your day dreaming in the middle of lessons and learn harder for number operation and place value for math subject.
Anyways (again),
There was a slice of smile for what happen today at school.
I said to you previously to attend only your main presentation and not to take tour to your special subject teachers, because your little sister is waiting at home. I was afraid I would pass her milking time. But as you finished your presentation, you insisted me to go to Islamic room and meet your religion teacher, Mr. Didin.
You: Bunda, let's go to Islamic room.
Me: Hei, we made a deal not to take special subjects' tour because your sister is waiting
You: Only the religion subject, I promise you. Please please please. You haven't met Mr. Didin, right? He is my new religion teacher.
Me: Hmmmm, ... thats true *thinking*
You: Mr. Didin is a handsome guy, Bunda. Come on, you will like him.
Me: Oh please ...
But we went to the Islamic room anyway. And we see Mr. Didin outside the class, and you screamed while pointing your finger at him. "That's Mr. Didin Bunda, ... see? I told you he is a handsome guy. Mr. Didin, this is my Bunda!"
@__@
*I wanna bury myself way under*
one day you will learn there is no such a thing as perfect timing.
One day, you will also learn that it is not about waiting for the perfect time;
but it is all about how to make time.
Today is my last day of my 3 months maternity leave and today is your Student Lead Conference for term 1. It means, tomorrow I am going back to work as well as you will start having your holiday. Yes, again having your holiday without me. But with all your plans on how you will spend your holiday, I am sure we will have good time for the time we will make :)
Anyways,
You did a good job for your presentation at SLC. Have some homework to catch up, of course.
That would be reducing your day dreaming in the middle of lessons and learn harder for number operation and place value for math subject.
Anyways (again),
There was a slice of smile for what happen today at school.
I said to you previously to attend only your main presentation and not to take tour to your special subject teachers, because your little sister is waiting at home. I was afraid I would pass her milking time. But as you finished your presentation, you insisted me to go to Islamic room and meet your religion teacher, Mr. Didin.
You: Bunda, let's go to Islamic room.
Me: Hei, we made a deal not to take special subjects' tour because your sister is waiting
You: Only the religion subject, I promise you. Please please please. You haven't met Mr. Didin, right? He is my new religion teacher.
Me: Hmmmm, ... thats true *thinking*
You: Mr. Didin is a handsome guy, Bunda. Come on, you will like him.
Me: Oh please ...
But we went to the Islamic room anyway. And we see Mr. Didin outside the class, and you screamed while pointing your finger at him. "That's Mr. Didin Bunda, ... see? I told you he is a handsome guy. Mr. Didin, this is my Bunda!"
@__@
*I wanna bury myself way under*
 |
| You and your Organic & Non Organic trash bin for integrated subject, Science & Art |
Bukan berarti
Alhamdulillah.
Cuma itu satu kata yang bisa aku ucap hingga pagi ini, masih bisa memerah susu dan jumlahnya semakin banyak (ah, macam Cimory aja jadinya). Freezer pun hampir penuh. Udah nggak muat lagi to be exact, karena laci yang tengah ternyata kurang tinggi dikit untuk ukuran botol asi. Jadi harus pakai plastik asi.
I used to be one of those militant asi mommy. Every mother designed to breastfeed, no excuse. Sempet cynical sama ibu-ibu yang keliatannya sehat fisik dan sehat finansial, tapi lebih memilih untuk memberi susu formula untuk bayi-bayinya. Tapi ternyata bukan cuma itu, aku juga cynical sama ibu-ibu yang dari kelas sosial menengah bawah dan memberi susu anak pakai botol (yang tentunya isinya susu formula dong ya, yang harganya mahal dan komposisinya tidak sebaik susu asi).
Intinya, I got cynical to all kind of non-breastfeed mommies.
Sekarang, aku tetap berusaha yang terbaik untuk bisa ngasih asi exclusive lagi. Kalau bisa, sampai dua tahun malah. Tapi kesadaran untuk tidak lagi menjadi ibu militan justru datang bukan dari soal asi ini. Tapi dari tren baru perbayian: cloth diaper. Nama kerennya clodi.
Awalnya aku juga nggak ngerti apa itu cloth diaper atau popok kain. Karena aselik deh, jenisnya banyak banget. Ada yang fleece, ada yang pocket, ada yang microfiber, ada yang bamboo, ada yang pull ups pants, ada yang button, ada yang snaps, ... binguuuuung! Sampe akhirnya aku beli satu biji di Suzana, itu pun ternyata setelah dipakai beberapa kali baru ngeh ternyata pakeinnya salah. Thanks to YouTube clodi tutorial.
Lalu aku mulai terekspos dengan penjual-penjual clodi online di Facebook. Merambah ke forum-forum mommies. Tapi kok ... kemudian mulai terasa nggak enak. Karena ibu-ibu ini tiba-tiba menjadi judgemental dan tiba-tiba aja mereka merasa jadi pencinta lingkungan yang super hebat hanya dengan memakai cloth diaper. Ya iya sih, ngerti banget berapa jumlah pohon yang bisa diselamatkan jika kita nggak pakai diaper sekali buang. Ngerti banget, berapa banyak sampah yang bisa kurangi hanya dengan tidak memakai diaper sekali buang.
Sayangnya enggak semua orang sadar bahwa segala sesuatu yang menjadi trend itu pasti berujung menjadi mahal.
Bukan hanya barang, tapi juga filosofi. Pemberian asi eksklusif, misalnya. Gerakan asi for baby ini menggema dimana-mana tapi justru fasilitasnya malah menjadi mahal. Let's say pompa asi yang minimal harganya 800 ribu. Plastik asi yang harganya 40 - 198 ribu per 25 lembar. Belum lagi kalau asi membludak, harus beli freezer tambahan dan jangan lupa genset untuk jaga-jaga laga PLN yang suka ngambek. Ditambah coolbox dan blue ice buat mobile mommies.
Nah, begitu juga dengan clodi. Kayanya ridiculous kalau harus mengeluarkan uang mulai dari 70 ribu sampai 270an ribu untuk sebuah clodi. Sehari bisa pakai 6 clodi. Walaupun bisa dipakai hingga berat badan 18 kilogram atau lebih, bayangkan modal yang harus dimiliki untuk memiliki 12 clodi yang bisa dicuci bergantian setiap hari. Itu baru dari sisi finansial. Sangat menohok kalau keadaannya seperti saya ini yang tidak memiliki pengasuh atau asisten rumah tangga. Sehingga harus cepat-cepat menyempatkan diri mencuci dan menjemur clodi supaya segera bisa dipakai. Apa kabar bayi yang nangis, rumah yang berdebu dan perut yang keroncongan kalau saya harus selalu melakukan cuci mencuci itu?
Dari situ saya mulai berpikir, bahwa tidak semua orang memiliki kemampuan dan berada di konteks yang sama.
Menyusui secara eksklusif ataupun menggunakan popok kain yang ramah kulit dan ramah lingkungan. Siapa sih yang enggak mau? Kalau enggak usaha, itu lain soal. Tapi kalau sudah dicoba dan ternyata enggak memungkinkan, bukan berarti enggak sayang anak-anak kan? Dan enggak salah juga kan kalau setiap orang ingin mencari sesuatu yang tidak terlalu membebani diri. Tidak terlalu memaksakan?
Segala sesuatu di dunia ini, yang bersifat material, apapun itu, semua berujung ke bisnis. Segala filosofi atau gerakan apapun, seringkali berujung pada kapitalisme juga. Pernah nonton Zetgeist? eh ini di luar konteks sih, tapi coba deh sekali-sekali download filmnya trus nonton. Mungkin harus juga tuh ibu-ibu militan nonton Zeitgeist.
Menyusui dan membesarkan anak itu butuh keseimbangan jiwa dan kepala. Pun situasi yang menenangkan. Enggak perlulah ditambahin dengan beban-beban yang kita bikin sendiri harus begini dan harus begitu. Menyamakannya dengan si dia yang begini dan aku memilih untuk begitu. Ribet nggak sih?
Ahhh, jadi ingat kata-kata Ariawan.
"Kalau bisa, ya dikerjain. Kalau sudah dicoba tapi kayanya berat, ya udahlah enggak usah. Kalau cape, ya berhenti. Gampang, kan?"
Jangan bilang siapa-siapa
21. 43
Baru aja selesai bacain cerita sebelum tidur buat Malicca. Kali ini judulnya 'Jangan bilang siapa-siapa' karangan Clara Ng. Ceritanya tentang seorang anak burung yang terlanjur berbohong sama ibunya lalu merasa enggak enak hati seharian. Akibatnya, untuk mengurangi kegundahan hatinya dia menceritakan kegalauannya itu kepada sebuah batu. Karena batu adalah pendengar yang baik, dan dia tidak akan bilang siapa-siapa.
Bacanya sih sebentar. Malam ini kayanya udah terlalu ngantuk jadi bocah nggak terlalu banyak komen (biasanya komen-komen soal gambar).
Selesai baca, kita ngobrol.
Titan pernah kaya gini nggak? Cerita sama batu?
Pernah. Di depan kan ada banyak batu tuh di taman, itu banyak yang udah Titan ceritain lho Nda.
Wah, rahasia apa? Bunda boleh tau juga, nggak?
Boleh, Tapi bunda jangan bilang siapa-siapa ya.
Iya. Rahasia apa, sih?
Iya, Titan cerita kalau Titan pernah ... (off the record since it is a secret between me and malicca)
Ooooh hahahaha ... kenapa cerita sama batu? Kok enggak cerita sama Bunda?
Abis Titan malu.
Denger ya, Titan bisa cerita apa aja sama Bunda ya. Apapun itu, mau malu-maluin; bunda janji akan jadi pendengar yang baik dan enggak akan bilang siapa-siapa. Inget itu. Siapa tau, kalau Titan lagi ada masalah Bunda bisa bantu. Kita bisa diskusi. Oke?
Lalu Malicca pun mengangguk, dan segera menutup mata setelah sebelumnya kita berdoa bersama.
Ah, ... waktu kenapa berlalu begitu cepat. Suka nggak rela sendiri kalau melihat anak-anak tiba-tiba sudah tumbuh besar dan punya rahasia-rahasia yang mereka simpan sendiri. Anyways terima kasih Clara Ng, cerita kali ini membekas sekali.
And Malicca, I am writing this not because I am telling the whole world about our secret.
I am writing this and so you can always remember that you can always tell everything to me. I promise I won't judge.
Selamat malam sayang, selamat malam semesta.
Rahasia apa yang akan kau ungkap esok pagi?
Baru aja selesai bacain cerita sebelum tidur buat Malicca. Kali ini judulnya 'Jangan bilang siapa-siapa' karangan Clara Ng. Ceritanya tentang seorang anak burung yang terlanjur berbohong sama ibunya lalu merasa enggak enak hati seharian. Akibatnya, untuk mengurangi kegundahan hatinya dia menceritakan kegalauannya itu kepada sebuah batu. Karena batu adalah pendengar yang baik, dan dia tidak akan bilang siapa-siapa.
Bacanya sih sebentar. Malam ini kayanya udah terlalu ngantuk jadi bocah nggak terlalu banyak komen (biasanya komen-komen soal gambar).
Selesai baca, kita ngobrol.
Titan pernah kaya gini nggak? Cerita sama batu?
Pernah. Di depan kan ada banyak batu tuh di taman, itu banyak yang udah Titan ceritain lho Nda.
Wah, rahasia apa? Bunda boleh tau juga, nggak?
Boleh, Tapi bunda jangan bilang siapa-siapa ya.
Iya. Rahasia apa, sih?
Iya, Titan cerita kalau Titan pernah ... (off the record since it is a secret between me and malicca)
Ooooh hahahaha ... kenapa cerita sama batu? Kok enggak cerita sama Bunda?
Abis Titan malu.
Denger ya, Titan bisa cerita apa aja sama Bunda ya. Apapun itu, mau malu-maluin; bunda janji akan jadi pendengar yang baik dan enggak akan bilang siapa-siapa. Inget itu. Siapa tau, kalau Titan lagi ada masalah Bunda bisa bantu. Kita bisa diskusi. Oke?
Lalu Malicca pun mengangguk, dan segera menutup mata setelah sebelumnya kita berdoa bersama.
Ah, ... waktu kenapa berlalu begitu cepat. Suka nggak rela sendiri kalau melihat anak-anak tiba-tiba sudah tumbuh besar dan punya rahasia-rahasia yang mereka simpan sendiri. Anyways terima kasih Clara Ng, cerita kali ini membekas sekali.
And Malicca, I am writing this not because I am telling the whole world about our secret.
I am writing this and so you can always remember that you can always tell everything to me. I promise I won't judge.
Selamat malam sayang, selamat malam semesta.
Rahasia apa yang akan kau ungkap esok pagi?
Asyik, ada sudut baru di rumah. Letaknya di salah satu sudut di kamar. Pengennya sih buat nulis cerita anak atau bebikinan. Amin.
Laci ini umurnya kira-kira tiga puluh tahunan, lho. Dulu, waktu TK ini adalah lemari bajuku dan sekarang jadi lemari bajunya Luna. Awalnya berupa laci polos, tapi kemudian aku tambahin handle stainless supaya lebih manis.
Di kiri, ada lampu ikea kecil yang dibeli waktu jalan-jalan berdua Titan dua tahun yang lalu. Titan suka banget sama lampu ini, katanya selalu mimpi indah kalau tidur pake lampu ini *halahhh*
Sementara di dalam ember-emberan kaleng ada beraneka ragam post it yang berwarna-warni. Buat corat coret ide atau pengingat tanggal acara sekolah Titan (secara udah emak-emak ya, makan ginkobiloba pun kurang membantu).
Di sebelah kanan, ada si ayam betina cameo waktu aku dan Ariawan nikah. Ini ayam kebawa kemana-mana dan hampir di setiap foto ada sosok dia. Di bawah-bawahnya ada buku-buku fairy tales favoritku mulai dari Lewis Carol, Frank L. Baum dan cerita asli HC Andersen yang ternyata cukup 'grim' untuk ukuran cerita anak.
Di bawah kiri ada kotak fuchsia yang isinya semua tetek bengek bebikinan mulai cutter, selotape sampe barang-barang yang ngga penting-penting banget.
Ha, udah ada tempatnya; semoga makin giat berkaryanya!
*kemudian hening*
krik krik ... krik krik ...
Yang ke dua, sudut di kamar anak-anak. Tempat tidur mereka kan di bawah, jadi kemarin agak bingung mau nyari bed side table kaya apa. Sesuatu yang simpel, enggak terlalu tinggi dan enggak terlalu 'maksa'. Sementara masih belum nemu, akhirnya aku pakai tumpukan buku cerita ini. Lumayan, bisa jadi pengingat untuk bacain buku ke anak-anak setiap malam. Lampunya masih kurang cangcing sih, nanti deh kalau jalan-jalan ada yang lucu bisa ditaro di sini.
*pastel heart*
Sementara di dalam ember-emberan kaleng ada beraneka ragam post it yang berwarna-warni. Buat corat coret ide atau pengingat tanggal acara sekolah Titan (secara udah emak-emak ya, makan ginkobiloba pun kurang membantu).
Di sebelah kanan, ada si ayam betina cameo waktu aku dan Ariawan nikah. Ini ayam kebawa kemana-mana dan hampir di setiap foto ada sosok dia. Di bawah-bawahnya ada buku-buku fairy tales favoritku mulai dari Lewis Carol, Frank L. Baum dan cerita asli HC Andersen yang ternyata cukup 'grim' untuk ukuran cerita anak.
Di bawah kiri ada kotak fuchsia yang isinya semua tetek bengek bebikinan mulai cutter, selotape sampe barang-barang yang ngga penting-penting banget.
Ha, udah ada tempatnya; semoga makin giat berkaryanya!
*kemudian hening*
krik krik ... krik krik ...
Yang ke dua, sudut di kamar anak-anak. Tempat tidur mereka kan di bawah, jadi kemarin agak bingung mau nyari bed side table kaya apa. Sesuatu yang simpel, enggak terlalu tinggi dan enggak terlalu 'maksa'. Sementara masih belum nemu, akhirnya aku pakai tumpukan buku cerita ini. Lumayan, bisa jadi pengingat untuk bacain buku ke anak-anak setiap malam. Lampunya masih kurang cangcing sih, nanti deh kalau jalan-jalan ada yang lucu bisa ditaro di sini.
*pastel heart*
The ode
Some people forget (or simply don't know) that most babies have androgyny faces, because every part of their faces are still developing. This is the reason why people feel they need to differentiate their baby's looks. So people recognise what gender their baby is. Sometimes they differentiate the gender with color coding clothes or many times by giving the baby girl a pair of earrings.
This is what happen to La Luna. She looks different everyday. Sometimes she looks girly, most of the times she looks boyish. This what made some people who met her thought she was a boy. Then they asked me why she didn't wear any earrings since she was a girl.
I mostly responded them with a glimpse of smile. If I am in a good mood to explain, I answered them with an empathy answer like "I'm a soft mama, I cannot stand her cry when she was being pierced." Not really an explaining answer, if they realise. It was even a lie.
Actually, it was more than that.
Ariawan and I decided not to pierce her as our respect to her body. We don't want to make eternal physical scar on her, a fait accompli, something she might regret when she grows up for something she did not do or did not wanted. It is an ode to her choice, that she has every choices in life and she should be responsible for what she chooses. It is a promise from us, her parents, that we will only be her supporter and not the decision maker.
So, my dear baby girl La Luna, it is a promise.
Please remind me if I forget it someday.
This is what happen to La Luna. She looks different everyday. Sometimes she looks girly, most of the times she looks boyish. This what made some people who met her thought she was a boy. Then they asked me why she didn't wear any earrings since she was a girl.
I mostly responded them with a glimpse of smile. If I am in a good mood to explain, I answered them with an empathy answer like "I'm a soft mama, I cannot stand her cry when she was being pierced." Not really an explaining answer, if they realise. It was even a lie.
Actually, it was more than that.
Ariawan and I decided not to pierce her as our respect to her body. We don't want to make eternal physical scar on her, a fait accompli, something she might regret when she grows up for something she did not do or did not wanted. It is an ode to her choice, that she has every choices in life and she should be responsible for what she chooses. It is a promise from us, her parents, that we will only be her supporter and not the decision maker.
So, my dear baby girl La Luna, it is a promise.
Please remind me if I forget it someday.
If I get married someday
"Bunda, bunda dan bubu punya cincin nikah?"
"Punya."
"Nanti kalau Titan nikah, boleh pakai cincin nikahnya bunda sama bubu?"
"Boleh, sayang."
*speechless. surprised*
(One day when you were accompanying me do the grocery shopping at Carefour the other day)
Five things
While waiting Bubu for dinner and me nursing your little sister, we had this beautiful conversation in my bed room.
Malicca, let's play love and hate.
What's that?
Mention the five things you love and five things you hate.
Okay, and here are the five things you love (at this moment):
1. You love to draw
(well, obviously)
2. You love my phone and Bubu's tab
(you love to browse Titanic, whirlpool and plays Minecraft lately)
3. You love my bed side lamp and a pencil sharpener
(it was Ikea lamp, and you love sharpener because you can not have a blunt pencil. You just can't. I remember when your teacher told me that you often have your work unfinished just because you keep sharpening your pencil during the lesson like an OCD kid hahaha)
4. You love me
(yes, I know it and I love you too so very much)
5. I love adek La luna
(promise me you will be a good big brother and protect her, okay? :) )
Next was the five things you hate.
It was even more interesting, because we had a big laugh discussing them. There are:
1. You hate nail
(oh, I just knew it. When I asked you why, you told me because it is sharp and you're afraid it might fall on your head. Oh boy.)
2. You hate when Bubu gets very angry
(oh well, obviously. I also hate when my dad gets angry to me, until this very moment when I am 34 haha. Then I asked you 'what would you do then when he gets angry?' ... 'I just keep silent and avoid him anywhere I go. I will go to Nini's house, lock the door and I won't come out hahaha)
3. You hate when the lights off
(when I asked you why, you said because you are afraid of 'Mama' - the movie. You are afraid she might look for her papa and thinks you are her papa because you always wanted to be a papa.
Do you want to know a secret? Many times, when you take a very long shower even for hours, I intentionally put the electricity down. That way you will finish your shower and get dressed. I'm done, I'm done, you said).
4. You hate when something hits your head, for example those guava at Nini's house. The tree was so fruitful they fell apart on your head in the morning.
5. You hate when you accidentally step on something sticky, ... especially if it's a poo poo!
(it just happened this afternoon, you stepped on the bird's poo at Nini's terrace. I laughed out loud to see your expression and you finally laughed too!)
Hey, I love having this conversation with you. Let's do this everyday, son. So you know how to count every blessings and be grateful of them.
And as you know, to mention things you hate was much easier right? It is because to see what you hate is easier than to see good deeds. But if you think only the bad things, that is the only thing that would stick in your head. Might as well, think of the goodness and that is the thing you will remember.
I love you!
Malicca, let's play love and hate.
What's that?
Mention the five things you love and five things you hate.
Okay, and here are the five things you love (at this moment):
1. You love to draw
(well, obviously)
2. You love my phone and Bubu's tab
(you love to browse Titanic, whirlpool and plays Minecraft lately)
3. You love my bed side lamp and a pencil sharpener
(it was Ikea lamp, and you love sharpener because you can not have a blunt pencil. You just can't. I remember when your teacher told me that you often have your work unfinished just because you keep sharpening your pencil during the lesson like an OCD kid hahaha)
4. You love me
(yes, I know it and I love you too so very much)
5. I love adek La luna
(promise me you will be a good big brother and protect her, okay? :) )
Next was the five things you hate.
It was even more interesting, because we had a big laugh discussing them. There are:
1. You hate nail
(oh, I just knew it. When I asked you why, you told me because it is sharp and you're afraid it might fall on your head. Oh boy.)
2. You hate when Bubu gets very angry
(oh well, obviously. I also hate when my dad gets angry to me, until this very moment when I am 34 haha. Then I asked you 'what would you do then when he gets angry?' ... 'I just keep silent and avoid him anywhere I go. I will go to Nini's house, lock the door and I won't come out hahaha)
3. You hate when the lights off
(when I asked you why, you said because you are afraid of 'Mama' - the movie. You are afraid she might look for her papa and thinks you are her papa because you always wanted to be a papa.
Do you want to know a secret? Many times, when you take a very long shower even for hours, I intentionally put the electricity down. That way you will finish your shower and get dressed. I'm done, I'm done, you said).
4. You hate when something hits your head, for example those guava at Nini's house. The tree was so fruitful they fell apart on your head in the morning.
5. You hate when you accidentally step on something sticky, ... especially if it's a poo poo!
(it just happened this afternoon, you stepped on the bird's poo at Nini's terrace. I laughed out loud to see your expression and you finally laughed too!)
Hey, I love having this conversation with you. Let's do this everyday, son. So you know how to count every blessings and be grateful of them.
And as you know, to mention things you hate was much easier right? It is because to see what you hate is easier than to see good deeds. But if you think only the bad things, that is the only thing that would stick in your head. Might as well, think of the goodness and that is the thing you will remember.
I love you!
Hijrah
Sebenarnya saya masih agak kurang sreg dengan judul di atas. Tapi ya sudahlah, belum nemu kata atau kalimat yang pas, sementara pakai yang ini dulu :)
Jadi, salah satu wishlist terbesar saya dan Ariawan adalah pindah dari Jakarta. Kenapa? Untuk kualitas hidup yang lebih baik dan energy yang lebih positif. Lucunya, kami berdua cukup akrab dengan hidup berpindah-pindah sewaktu kecil. Walaupun enggak terlalu hippie sih.
Saya lahir dan tumbuh di Jakarta. Umur 11, saya dan mamah ikut bapak pindah tugas ke Palembang. Umur 13, kami pindah lagi ke pangkal pinang (pulau Bangka). Sayang bapak cuma ditugaskan di sana selama 2 tahun di sana lalu kita semua kembali ke Jakarta. Sampai sekarang.
Saya masih ingat malam itu. Dengan sangat hati-hati bapak memberitahu saya yang baru kelas 5 tentang berita kepindahan kami ke Palembang. Dan saya masih ingat raut wajahnya yang berubah lega saat saya berteriak senang karena berkesempatan pindah dari Jakarta.
“Mau, Uwie pindah?” Tanya bapak.
“Mauuuuu!” Kata saya tanpa berpikir lagi.
Saat itu saya membayangkan tinggal di rumah panggung yang terbuat dari kayu, persis seperti yang digambarkan di buku IPS saya mengenai rumah-rumah adat Sumatra. Tapi apaan, ternyata rumah yang kami tempati rumah permanen ‘biasa’. Di kompleks perumahan yang cukup moderen pula. Tapi yang namanya pindah ke kota lain selalu memberi pengalaman seru (walaupun kotanya enggak seseru yang saya bayangkan sih). Terus terang saya agak kurang ‘betah’ tinggal di Palembang. Jadi saat saya diberitahu yang ke dua kalinya tentang kepindahan kami ke Pangkal Pinang, tau dong reaksi saya: menyambut dengan suka cita!
Saya pindah ke Pangkal Pinang di semester ke dua kelas 1 SMP. Waktu itu, penerbangan Palembang – Pangkal Pinang hanya diakomodir oleh pesawat Garuda tipe F28 yang sekarang sudah tidak beroperasi lagi. Itu pun harus transit dulu di Palembang.
Pertama kali saya menginjakkan di rumah dinas bapak, saya senang sekali. Di jalan Merdeka, letaknya. Rumahnya besar, di kompleks peninggalan belanda. Temboknya tebal, jendelanya lebar, langit-langitnya tinggi, lantainya dari keramik mozaik dan setiap ruangannya luas sekali. Saya bisa lari-lari di dalamnya. Halamannya juga besar, bapak bisa langsung bikin lapangan basket di belakang. Yang main tentu bukan saya, tiap Jumat malam halaman belakang selalu ramai dengan bapak-bapak termasuk bapak saya untuk bermain basket. Golf juga bukan sebuah olah raga mahal. Karena ada PT. Timah, lapangan golf bebas terbuka untuk siapa saja tanpa harus menjadi anggota dengan uang pangkal puluhan juta rupiah. Di sanalah saya belajar golf dan mendalami hobi saya bersepeda. Sebuah lingkungan yang sehat, dalam arti yang sebenarnya. Saya senang sekali, dan akhirnya menganggap Pangkal Pinang seperti kampung halaman saya sendiri.
Pertama kali saya menginjakkan di rumah dinas bapak, saya senang sekali. Di jalan Merdeka, letaknya. Rumahnya besar, di kompleks peninggalan belanda. Temboknya tebal, jendelanya lebar, langit-langitnya tinggi, lantainya dari keramik mozaik dan setiap ruangannya luas sekali. Saya bisa lari-lari di dalamnya. Halamannya juga besar, bapak bisa langsung bikin lapangan basket di belakang. Yang main tentu bukan saya, tiap Jumat malam halaman belakang selalu ramai dengan bapak-bapak termasuk bapak saya untuk bermain basket. Golf juga bukan sebuah olah raga mahal. Karena ada PT. Timah, lapangan golf bebas terbuka untuk siapa saja tanpa harus menjadi anggota dengan uang pangkal puluhan juta rupiah. Di sanalah saya belajar golf dan mendalami hobi saya bersepeda. Sebuah lingkungan yang sehat, dalam arti yang sebenarnya. Saya senang sekali, dan akhirnya menganggap Pangkal Pinang seperti kampung halaman saya sendiri.
Di Pangkal Pinang, saya sekolah di sekolah negeri. Berbeda dengan di Palembang dimana saya masuk ke sekolah swasta katolik. Saya langsung jatuh cinta dengan keramahtamahan di sana. Dan disana pula pertama kalinya saya ‘berkenalan’ dengan etnis cina. Dan sungguh, kali ini berbeda sekali dengan persepsi saya tentang mayoritas dan minoritas. Kami semua menyatu dan bermain bersama. Saking indahnya pengalaman itu, saya masih ingat beberapa nama teman-teman etnis saya: Mei Hwa, Men Kwet, Sian Kwet dan Ai Hwa. Saya masih ingat sekolah naik sepeda dan pramuka bersama mereka. Baidewei apa kabar yah Pramuka? Agak kecewa sekolah sekarang sudah jarang yang ada pramukanya lagi.
Ditambah lagi lokasi pantai yang cuma 5 menit dari rumah (naik mobil ya, kalau naik sepeda nggak kuat soalnya rutenya bikin gempor), pantai Pasir Padi namanya. Pantainya luas dan landai sekali. Saya selalu membawa anjing saya ( si Chocho) lari-lari dan berenang di sana tanpa takut tenggelam. Kejar-kejaran, persis kaya di film-film! Belum lagi aktivitas naek sepeda tiap sore naik turun bukit di lingkungan rumah. Sempet nyusruk dan berdarah-darah saking ngebutnya dan bikin nggak ikut senam pagi di sekolah keesokan harinya.
Entah kenapa, walaupun saya sendirian di rumah sebesar itu (karena kakak-kakak saya lebih memilih tinggal di Jakarta), saya tidak pernah merasa kesepian. Untuk update musik, kakak saya sering kirim kaset (ciyeee 'kaset' loh!) dari Jakarta. Dia juga suka bikinin mix tape. Jaman itu lagi jamannya Too Legit To Quitnya MC Hammer (bwahahahaha). So yeah, ... bisa dibilang 2 tahun keberadaan saya di Pangkal Pinang adalah momen terindah dalam masa kecil saya.
Saat bapak menyampaikan bahwa beliau dipindahtugaskan kembali ke Jakarta, aselik deh rasanya sedih banget. Saya sampe minta untuk stay aja di Pangkal Pinang dengan alasan nanggung tinggal setahun lagi saya lulus SMP. Ya kali deh, ... tentu aja nggak boleh.
Tentang Jakarta, perasaan saya waktu umur 15 dan perasaan saya di usia 35 sekarang ini tetaplah sama: M. U. A. K. Saya sadar manusia diberi kemampuan untuk beradaptasi. Tapi kenapa rasa yang satu ini enggak hilang-hilang ya? Bersepeda, berlari, persahabatan, tidak lagi memiliki arti yang sama. Bersepeda berarti kesenggol bajaj atau motor ngehe. Lari berarti indo runners dan Nike Plus dan pencitraan di socmed. Persahabatan? Yang tanpa pamrih? Sahabat yang kata-katanya bisa di'pegang'? Wah, … itu barang langka (walaupun saya sangat bersyukur saya memiliki beberapa). Hal ini yang akhirnya membuat sepeda lipat kesayangan saya jadi nganggur dan karatan sebelum akhirnya hilang entah dicolong siapa. Dan ini pula yang bikin saya lebih suka jadi orang 'rumahan' demi menghindari macet dan energi negatif Jakarta.
Lain saya, lain pula Ariawan. Pengalaman dia terpental-pental lebih banyak dari saya. Sejak terlahir di pelosok kalimantan timur, lalu melancong ke Semarang, Pemalang, Jakarta, sempat bekerja di beberapa negara lalu kembali ke Jakarta 'hanya' untuk menikahi wanita yang nulis blog ini.
#duh!
#eh
#tepokjidat
#loveyou
Saya masih ingat betul dulu sepulangnya ia dari Adelaide, titik pelancongannya yang terakhir, muka dan perawakan Ariawan masih seger. Terima kasih sama udara yang lebih bersih, sepeda, berjalan kaki dan weekly projectnya menghias rumah yang memakan banyak energi. Sekarang, melihat Ariawan kadang bikin saya merasa gagal jadi istrinya (lebay). Belum lagi mendengar ceritanya tentang lingkungan kerja yang bikin dia down (ini masalah etos kerja, masalah bangsa dan nggak bisa lepas dari sejarah). Ditambah lagi, waktu 24 jam di Jakarta itu sepertinya tidak pernah cukup untuk mengakomodir semua hasrat berkegiatan. Sampai rumah, biasanya tinggal energi sisa. Itu juga beruntung kalau masih sisa. Biasanya kita semua udah cape. Lagi-lagi, yang kasian anak-anak.
Muaknya kami dengan kemacetan Jakarta membuat kami lebih sering menjadikan rumah sebagai sanctuary di saat weekend. Mengerjakan proyek-proyek kecil seperti menanam pohon, melukis, menjahit, bikin kue, bebersih rumah, benerin mobil, membuat rumah pohon, dan sebagainya. Nah tuh, banyak bener deh. Lagi-lagi kita kurang waktu.
Tapi kan enggak bisa begitu terus ya. Anak-anak juga butuh melihat ke luar. Tapi sekali lagi terbentur dengan kondisi yang beda sekali dengan dulu saat saya kecil. Bisa bebas main sepeda dengan radius jauh dari rumah tanpa harus takut diculik atau ketabrak mobil dan motor. Bisa janjian ngumpul di rumah teman atau saudara tanpa harus berangkat dua jam sebelumnya. Karena macetnya itu pula, tinggal di Jakarta sering memaksa kami untuk memilih karena terbatasnya waktu.
Semua itu membuat saya ingin hijrah dari kota ini. Apalagi, kini saya sudah menjadi ibu dan mendambakan kualitas hidup yang lebih baik untuk anak-anak. Saya ingin mereka merasakan apa yang saya rasakan waktu kecil. Tentu, dengan dimensi yang lebih baik. Ndelalah Ariawan juga merasakan dan memiliki keinginan yang sama. Hanya saja alasan dia lebih menggunakan otak kiri ketimbang saya yang lebih banyak pake hati.
“If you have a dream, say it out loud!” Kata The Secret. Iya yah, kayanya saya belum pernah ngember soal wishlist saya yang satu ini. So hear, hear! Aku ingin tinggal di luar negeri! Say I’m pathetic, say I’m ignorant, say I’m a traitor, but I don’t care, I’m only human and yes I want it so much!
Saat ini memang masih sebatas angan, belum bergerak apa-apa (baca: ngandelin suami. Istrinya cuma bisa meracau di blog aja hihihi). Walaupun terus terang, industri periklanan tempat saya bekerja seharusnya sangat memungkinkan untuk jadi TKW. Tapi gimana dong, saya juga lagi nggak cinta sama bidang pekerjaan saya ini. Jadi, yah … semoga meracau ini bisa merefleksi dan menggema hingga ke Arsyi.
Well, kalaupun tidak bisa hijrah ke luar negeri; saya ingin tinggal di Bali. Dan anak-anak sekolah di sini. Amin!
Today's PDR
Di sekolah Titan, setiap hari ada jadwal PDR (Plan-Do-Review) selama 60 menit. Dalam PDR ini, mereka belajar membuat perencanaan kegiatan mereka dan melakukan review setelah selesai.
Mereka bisa bebas melakukan apa aja. Dari sini pula ditengarai minat mereka. Ada yang mengisi PDRnya dengan tidur siang, main di halaman, ke perpustakaan atau para siswa yang belum menyelesaikan tugas-tugas atau tesnya pun dilanjutkan pada saat ini.
Hari ini, Titan kembali ngebawain aku gambar setelah beberapa minggu moodnya berhasta karya.
Senang deh ngeliatnya :)
Terima kasih, sayang.
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Qur'an Surat Maryam: 6 يَّرِثُنِيْ وَيَرِثُ مِنْ اٰلِ يَعْقُوْبَ وَاجْعَلْهُ رَبِّ رَضِيًّا ٦ yaritsunî wa yaritsu min âli ya‘qûba w...
