BEING FORTY: A day with Mom

Walau rumah sebelahan; jarang-jarang aku menghabiskan waktu di rumah Mamah. Tapi hari itu, kita masak dan belanja bareng. Judulnya sih pengen masak ayam panggang, sekalian juga belajar dan mencuri resep ayam bakar andalan si Mamah.

Kangen juga rasanya. Dulu, tiap bulan Ramadhan, biasanya kita selalu duduk bareng untuk bikin kue. Kebiasaan ini terhenti baru-baru ini aja. Saat aku udah nemu vendor kue sehat dan enak, dan Mamah juga udah terlalu tua dan cepat merasa capek. Tinggal tradisi bikin cheese stick yang masih dipertahankan. Tapi biasanya itu lapaknya Mamah dan cucu-cucunya.

Hari itu, aku malah skip sana-sini selama proses masaknya. Karena, Mamah minta bantuin obatin anak kucing yang lagi flu dan sakit mata. Tapi karena itu juga waktu memasak jadi lebih lama dan di sela-sela itu, kita jadi cerita banyak. Bahkan cerita hal yang sudah setahun ini kupendam, akhirnya tumpah ruah juga. Mamah juga cerita hal-hal kecil antara dia dan si aki. Buat Mamah, hal-hal yang dia ceritain itu mengesalkan. Tapi buatku, cerita-cerita itu lucu sekali. Dan somehow, ... manis banget untuk dikenang.

Growing old together is not easy. 
But yet we should be grateful if we have someone to share our old days with. 

Kalau denger dari cerita-cerita Mamah soal si Bapak, kayanya dua-duanya tuh memang nggak merasa sudah tua. Ya iya sih, kita semua juga nggak ada yang sadar bahwa sudah tua. Rasanya masih muda dan masih sempurna paripurna. Padahal, pendengaran misalnya, mulai menurun. Saat si A teriak-teriak, hal itu tak lain adalah karena dia nggak bisa mendengar suaranya sendiri. Trus si B tersinggung, kenapa si A teriak-teriak dan nggak merasa salah. Karena si B udah sakit hati, gak kedengeran lagi tuh si A ngomong apa. Jadilah si A marah beneran, karena udah teriak-teriak kok si B bodoh banget sampai nggak paham maksudnya.

Hahaha ... blunder.

Misalnya lagi, cerita soal bau kaki. Si A complain karena si B bau kaki. Si B boro-boro sadar kakinya bau, jadi marah karena dituding jadi kaki bau. Padahal, semata-mata bau tidak sedap itu datang dari sela kaki dan kuku, yang mana karena sudah tua merunduk untuk mengeringkan kaki saja tidak bisa. Sendi-sendi rasanya kaku dan pernah suatu waktu spontan nunduk ambil mainan si cucu, eh malah syaraf punggung terjepit. Habis marah-marah soal bau kaki, lalu aku lihat mereka saling gosok-gosokan balsem karena hari sudah sore dan badan mulai ngilu.

Cerita Mamah masih belum berakhir. Kali ini soal rasa bosan. Bosan dengan ngilu-ngilu yang dirasakan, bosan minum obat, bosan dengan dia lagi dia lagi yang tampak di depan muka, bosan dengan hidup yang tidak lagi menawarkan hingar bingar, ... hidup di usia akhir tujuh puluhan dengan kondisi kesehatan dan keuangan yang biasa-biasa aja, ternyata cukup penuh tantangan. Giliran lagi sehat, dompetnya nggak sehat. Saat dompet sehat, badan nggak kuat.

Hahaha ... sabar. Tuhan akan mengabulkan, sayangnya seringkali tidak di waktu yang kita mau. 

 Mamah terlihat senang sekali saat saya masak bersama di dapurnya hari itu. Setelahnnya,  kita belanja bareng, tentu dengan ATM yang sudah diisiin anak-anaknya. Makin hepi deh dia.

Growing old is not easy, but there's always something we can smile at. 

Sehat selalu dan penuh berkah di usia senjamu ya aki, nini,
semoga aku senantiasa punya waktu dan rejeki untuk membahagiakanmu.

Life begins at forty

I have been thinking of a post about me hitting forty. I have been thinking it before birthday, during birthday, and now it has been 17 days after my fortieth birthday and I just have the mojo to write at this moment.

For my fortieth birthday,  I was planning of a solo getaway, of going umrah, of spending some nights with my girls, all of them is to celebrate the so called 'newly life'. But none of them ever happened. Yet.

Turned out, on the D day, I chose just to stay home and celebrated it with my family, in a simple restaurant. My celebration mood decreasing little by little as I hit April and Daddy got sick. Then I have to prepare my son for a national exam. Along with hubby's no sugar no carbs movement, I had to squeezed my brain to make a flourless sugarless birthday cake for him. All of these actually drenched my mood of birthday celebration. But I had no regrets at all. In contrary, I felt content.

Hubby tried to impress me by surprised cake and a gift I have been craving: mirrorless camera hahaha! I also got so many birthday wishes, my boss invited me and my team to his house and he made a homemade safron ice cream. He also gave me a little gift, a handmade leather brooch from middle east. I was beyond happy.

Today, when I was preparing myself to write this post, I stumbled upon a post I did three years ago: https://wulliewullie.blogspot.com/2015/08/fridate-with-girls.html and it got me thinking.

That I have been living a good life and a good path. Who would have thought that I could finally bought a branded handbag for mom within two years after I uploaded the post? Who would have thought that I would be able to take care and to be the bread winner for both my mom and dad on their old days? Who would have thought that I could take them to fancy dinners? That glorious life people perceived by hitting forties; I actually have achieved them before I was forty.

But now that I am being forty, I have another interpretation about which life of mine that's just begun.
It is the life of being more wise, speaking in a soft manner to my parents.
It is the life of realizing my authority upon their good life.
It is the moment when I saw my father cried, just like me in my twenties being broken-hearted.
It is the life of understanding my parents' disability because they got so much older.
It is the life of me accepting aching bones during too cold aircon.
It is the new life I will be facing from now on, and still I am very grateful.

Thank you dear Allah.
Thank you for loving me so much.