Titan:
Nda, apa sih yang murah? Semua mahal. mobil VW combi mahal. Mersi mahal. Vespa mahal. Apa dong yang murah?
Me:
Hmmm... udara untuk nafas murah. Gratis, lho!
Titan:
I mean things.
Me:
Hmmm... things... apa ya... semua harus didapat dengan usaha soalnya, jadinya mahal.
Titan:
Iya, makanya Titan tanya apa yang murah.
Me:
What do you think? (lagi males mikir yang berat-berat)
Titan:
Oh, I know! (he raised his hand) A tree! Kita dapat pohon tanamnya di depan rumah. Nanemnya gratis, kan? Trus nanti kalau berbuah kaya pohon sawo yang di depan kita petik; gratis kan?
Me (dalam hati):
Tapi kan pohonnya beli. Eh kecuali dikasih sih. Tapi modal punya tanah kan mahal, mahal banget malah. Karena merasa harus memberi pesan moral, akhirnya aku jawab gini
Hmm, ... nice idea. Sekarang Titan tau kan, nanem pohon itu bagus karena bisa berguna untuk ke depannya.
Titan:
Iya juga ya, Nda. Besok-besok kita nanem pohon lagi ya, kaya waktu itu.
P14
Today is my fourteenth day after I gave delivery, yet in medical glossary they call it P14.
Unlike my first delivery six years ago, I adapt much better this time (well, d'oh... of course I should be better). Although formula milk is still the biggest temptation because breastfeeding is damn challenging (also apply for a veteran mom like me), I thank God I can still breastfeed and keep my expressed milk frozen for future needs when I am back to work.
Nothing is the secret but a discipline schedule, because having a newborn is not less or more demanding as having a first grader. Yet they have to know my expectation and I need to know theirs, so I set a time schedule for all of us (well, specially for me and kids; to be exact) because hubster seems to stick with his daily habits only with less sleep because he helps me to change diapers at night.
Here is the schedule in which so far is working for all of us.
06.30 - I woke up and make breakfast and lunch boxes for son and hubby
07.00 - I took a shower, together with Malicca (and so I can hush hush him every time he got distracted)
07.30 - sending Malicca to school and have the baby sun bathed
08.30 - sending the baby to shower
09:00 - Having my heavy breakfast included a big bowl of veggies (hoa!)
09.30 - breastmilking on demand while watching tv, munching and (not to forget) get wired!
02.30 - first grader back from school and we play together with baby in the kangaroo style, attached to my breast (haha!)
04.30 - baby shower time, literally
05.30 - first grader finishes his shower and
06.30 - have his dinner
07.00 - study time (it is negotiable whether Malicca wants to have it at night or after school, 1,5 - 2 hours each day)
Monday is for math, tuesday is for writing composition & language arts (blogging, in this case), wednesday is for addition and geometry, thursday is for english literacy and friday is for any interests of his (google and youtube-ing)
09.00 - read story before bed then bobo time for mommy, baby and first grader :)
Thanks to the schedule, things are quite predictable. Smooth day is very important when having newborn, so yeah... you don't need any unexpected things beside her crying :) Anyways, my body is still catching up after the caesarean.
Since it is Ramadhan, oh ... I think this is the numbest Ramadhan ever happened to me. Despite of me not joining the fasting, this baby thingy consumes me more than to enjoy Ramadhan. But hey, I thank God my family is still together and hubster tries his best to breakfasting at home, every time. I cannot ask for more than our togetherness :)
Well well, ... now is 10.12 and baby Luna starts demanding. Time to breastfeed! :)
Unlike my first delivery six years ago, I adapt much better this time (well, d'oh... of course I should be better). Although formula milk is still the biggest temptation because breastfeeding is damn challenging (also apply for a veteran mom like me), I thank God I can still breastfeed and keep my expressed milk frozen for future needs when I am back to work.
Nothing is the secret but a discipline schedule, because having a newborn is not less or more demanding as having a first grader. Yet they have to know my expectation and I need to know theirs, so I set a time schedule for all of us (well, specially for me and kids; to be exact) because hubster seems to stick with his daily habits only with less sleep because he helps me to change diapers at night.
Here is the schedule in which so far is working for all of us.
06.30 - I woke up and make breakfast and lunch boxes for son and hubby
07.00 - I took a shower, together with Malicca (and so I can hush hush him every time he got distracted)
07.30 - sending Malicca to school and have the baby sun bathed
08.30 - sending the baby to shower
09:00 - Having my heavy breakfast included a big bowl of veggies (hoa!)
09.30 - breastmilking on demand while watching tv, munching and (not to forget) get wired!
02.30 - first grader back from school and we play together with baby in the kangaroo style, attached to my breast (haha!)
04.30 - baby shower time, literally
05.30 - first grader finishes his shower and
06.30 - have his dinner
07.00 - study time (it is negotiable whether Malicca wants to have it at night or after school, 1,5 - 2 hours each day)
Monday is for math, tuesday is for writing composition & language arts (blogging, in this case), wednesday is for addition and geometry, thursday is for english literacy and friday is for any interests of his (google and youtube-ing)
09.00 - read story before bed then bobo time for mommy, baby and first grader :)
Thanks to the schedule, things are quite predictable. Smooth day is very important when having newborn, so yeah... you don't need any unexpected things beside her crying :) Anyways, my body is still catching up after the caesarean.
Since it is Ramadhan, oh ... I think this is the numbest Ramadhan ever happened to me. Despite of me not joining the fasting, this baby thingy consumes me more than to enjoy Ramadhan. But hey, I thank God my family is still together and hubster tries his best to breakfasting at home, every time. I cannot ask for more than our togetherness :)
Well well, ... now is 10.12 and baby Luna starts demanding. Time to breastfeed! :)
 |
| Back on wired with Luna |
Are you happy still, Bunda?
Sambil naik otoped bolak-balik di rumah nini,
tadi dia mampir sebentar ngedeketin aku yang lagi asyik makan kolak pisang saat buka puasa.
T:
Bunda, bunda happy nggak waktu Titan masang batu-batu?
Me:
Hah, batu-batu apaan sih?
T:
Itu tuh, waktu circling batu di bawah pohon sawo sama pak tukang kebun
Me:
Oh ituuu, ... of course I am happy. Bunda sih happy selalu kalau Titan bikin yang baik-baik.
T:
Oh, kirain Bunda udah nggak happy lagi (katanya sambil nyelonong naik otoped)
Amazing ya apa yang ada di kepala anak-anak. Well, I am a skipper too. Dalam artian, kalo ngomong tuh suka lompat-lompat tergantung hal ujug-ujug yang tiba-tiba nongol di kepala. Yep, dan tanpa tedeng aling-aling ngejelasin sama lawan bicara.
Nah, ternyata anak-anak jauh lebih hebat skippingnya. Dan entah berapa lama sebuah memori bisa bertahan dan mampu di-recall oleh seorang anak. Terkadang, ini yang suka bikin Titan gemes sama aku. Segala keluh kesah "Cape deeeeeeh" atau "Hiiiiih masa lupa???" dan berbagai ekspresi lain yang sering banget dia utarakan.
Tapi nak, Bundamu yang satu ini nggak akan pernah lupa akan rasa bahagia punya anak kamu. Percaya, deh!
:)
tadi dia mampir sebentar ngedeketin aku yang lagi asyik makan kolak pisang saat buka puasa.
T:
Bunda, bunda happy nggak waktu Titan masang batu-batu?
Me:
Hah, batu-batu apaan sih?
T:
Itu tuh, waktu circling batu di bawah pohon sawo sama pak tukang kebun
Me:
Oh ituuu, ... of course I am happy. Bunda sih happy selalu kalau Titan bikin yang baik-baik.
T:
Oh, kirain Bunda udah nggak happy lagi (katanya sambil nyelonong naik otoped)
Amazing ya apa yang ada di kepala anak-anak. Well, I am a skipper too. Dalam artian, kalo ngomong tuh suka lompat-lompat tergantung hal ujug-ujug yang tiba-tiba nongol di kepala. Yep, dan tanpa tedeng aling-aling ngejelasin sama lawan bicara.
Nah, ternyata anak-anak jauh lebih hebat skippingnya. Dan entah berapa lama sebuah memori bisa bertahan dan mampu di-recall oleh seorang anak. Terkadang, ini yang suka bikin Titan gemes sama aku. Segala keluh kesah "Cape deeeeeeh" atau "Hiiiiih masa lupa???" dan berbagai ekspresi lain yang sering banget dia utarakan.
Tapi nak, Bundamu yang satu ini nggak akan pernah lupa akan rasa bahagia punya anak kamu. Percaya, deh!
:)
Archimedes would have killed me
Malam ini Titan bertanya.
T:
Bunda, kalau kapal tenggelam jauh ke dalam dasar laut, kaca-kaca jendelanya pecah nggak ya?
Me:
Enggak.
T:
Kenapa? Kan kenceng juga jatuhnya.
Me (mikir):
Hmm... eh iya deh pecah juga.
T:
Kenapa?
Me:
Hmm... karena daya saat dia jatuh ke bawah kecepatannya sama dengan saat dia melambung ke atas. Jadi ada tekanan yang sama kencangnya dengan kalau benda jatuh bukan di air.
T (diam, kayanya nggak mudeng tapi yang penting dia tau bahwa kaca jendelanya bisa pecah)
Me (sigh, ... pas pelajaran fisika di SMU dulu gue kemana aja siiiiiiiih -__- )
T:
Bunda, kalau kapal tenggelam jauh ke dalam dasar laut, kaca-kaca jendelanya pecah nggak ya?
Me:
Enggak.
T:
Kenapa? Kan kenceng juga jatuhnya.
Me (mikir):
Hmm... eh iya deh pecah juga.
T:
Kenapa?
Me:
Hmm... karena daya saat dia jatuh ke bawah kecepatannya sama dengan saat dia melambung ke atas. Jadi ada tekanan yang sama kencangnya dengan kalau benda jatuh bukan di air.
T (diam, kayanya nggak mudeng tapi yang penting dia tau bahwa kaca jendelanya bisa pecah)
Me (sigh, ... pas pelajaran fisika di SMU dulu gue kemana aja siiiiiiiih -__- )
Inshaa Allah
Pada suatu sore yang indah di kamar mandi.
Seperti biasa, bocah lagi asyik rendeman air hangat pakai bak mandi adiknya.
Tiba-tiba dia bertanya
T:
Bunda, nanti kalau bunda umroh Titan diajak ya?
B:
Kata siapa bunda mau umroh?
T:
Ya kalau nanti, misalnya pergi, Titan mau ikut. Titan mau lihat Ka'bah
B:
Ooooh, ... okay. Nanti yah kalau Titan sudah besar. Sudah 17 tahun.
T:
Yaaaaah, ... bundanya udah tua dong!
B:
(Mikir. Panjang. Iya juga ya. Damn!)
T:
Nanti bunda udah nggak bisa jalan, digotong-gotong pake kursi roda ya? Nanti Titan yang dorong-dorong keliling Ka'bah ya?
B:
Ya jangan didoain udah jompo dong sayang, ... semoga kita berdua dikasih kesehatan ya.
Sehingga, nanti kalau Titan sudah cukup mengerti arti umroh; kita bisa berangkat. Jangan hanya karena Titan pengen ngeliat Ka'bah ... kalau itu mah di YouTube aja
T:
Tapi bener ya, Titan diajak.
B:
Inshaa Allah, Nak
Seperti biasa, bocah lagi asyik rendeman air hangat pakai bak mandi adiknya.
Tiba-tiba dia bertanya
T:
Bunda, nanti kalau bunda umroh Titan diajak ya?
B:
Kata siapa bunda mau umroh?
T:
Ya kalau nanti, misalnya pergi, Titan mau ikut. Titan mau lihat Ka'bah
B:
Ooooh, ... okay. Nanti yah kalau Titan sudah besar. Sudah 17 tahun.
T:
Yaaaaah, ... bundanya udah tua dong!
B:
(Mikir. Panjang. Iya juga ya. Damn!)
T:
Nanti bunda udah nggak bisa jalan, digotong-gotong pake kursi roda ya? Nanti Titan yang dorong-dorong keliling Ka'bah ya?
B:
Ya jangan didoain udah jompo dong sayang, ... semoga kita berdua dikasih kesehatan ya.
Sehingga, nanti kalau Titan sudah cukup mengerti arti umroh; kita bisa berangkat. Jangan hanya karena Titan pengen ngeliat Ka'bah ... kalau itu mah di YouTube aja
T:
Tapi bener ya, Titan diajak.
B:
Inshaa Allah, Nak
Rise and Shine!
It is my first day taking the maternity leave. I would say, ... I am starting my hibernation. The doctor planned the CS in two more weeks. But looking at my condition at the moment, I decided to take the maternity leave sooner.
I woke up happily. I went to the backyard and saw the seeds are sprouting. I felt the sun warmly shone on my back. I felt ... so ... light. It has been a while since I have this feeling. Have I been longing for this? Hmm ... maybe yes. Or, maybe no. Maybe it is just another day, and just because I woke up at the other side of my bed everything looks different and new.
For whatever reasons, I am happy enough I can look into myself at this moment. To prepare mentally, emotionally and physically for the upcoming baby.
But it did not happen long. I then take my laptop and start doing my personal project and current interest: taking care of my Rapi-Rapi (please follow its twitter account @rapirapiyuk or FB fanpage Rapi Rapi; by the way) did some personal stuffs and time just flew by.
Sometimes I feel there is something wrong when I do so much things at home compare to how much I do in the office *sigh*
Anyways, ... it feels good to plant something.
It is like you are seeding hopes, and it feels happy as it sprouts.
Now and Then
Little did I know about having a child (or more), is that the more they grow up the more hard-working the parent needs to be.
When I was pregnant, I hope to give birth soon. After I gave birth, I got cranky I needed to breastfeed anytime anywhere. I complained I needed to wake up 4 or 5 times in the middle of the night. I hoped he would start weaning soon. After he reached 6 months and started eating solid foods, I got cranky for I needed to prepare his meal in three different menus for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Not to forget, some snacks. After that, I hoped he would walk soon. After he walked, I started cranky because I was too tired to catch him. And I hoped he would go to school soon. After he reached the school age, I started to wonder why there are so many more I had to do. I needed to wake up way earlier, prepare his lunch box, prepare his school projects and performances, birthdays, class party, parent-teacher meetings and much much more.
There. There I wondered, why did I wish everything to move faster? Life was so much simpler when he was in my womb. He listened to me, he ate what I ate without complain, he never say no. On the breastfeeding era, wasn’t my life was way simpler as well? I didn’t need to cook, let alone of thinking what menu. Everything he needs is here, on my chest. Every time he gets hungry all I needed to do was unbutton my clothes and there, he would find his heaven in a heartbeat. By the time he was sleepy, he could sleep in my arms for he weighted no more than 10 kilos and I could just bring him anywhere I go.
Imagine when he becomes ABG and smelly, college student and rebellious, wants to work as something people never knew before but doesn’t know what it is. Imagine the time when he is able to do everything I fuss about today. The time he would be able to overcome what I am worrying now and there will be so much more to worry about.
Then I asked my self, again, why couldn’t I just enjoy the now moment? Now is way simpler than the future.
my jobdesk
sebagai ibu dan sebagai perempuan, saya sadar sesadar-sadarnya dan menyadari benar bahwa salah satu job description saya adalah untuk menjadi bawel.
nanti ini ya
nanti itu ya
jangan lupa ini
jangan lupa itu
habis itu, ini
nanti kalau ini, begitu
bener ya, janji?
kok gitu?
kok gini? kenapa?
harusnya enggak gitu, tapi
...
masih banyak lagi.
nah, kalau yang dewasa merasa level kebawelan saya terlalu amat sangat merongrong,
well ... mungkin ada yang salah dengan pendewasaan kamu.
nanti ini ya
nanti itu ya
jangan lupa ini
jangan lupa itu
habis itu, ini
nanti kalau ini, begitu
bener ya, janji?
kok gitu?
kok gini? kenapa?
harusnya enggak gitu, tapi
...
masih banyak lagi.
nah, kalau yang dewasa merasa level kebawelan saya terlalu amat sangat merongrong,
well ... mungkin ada yang salah dengan pendewasaan kamu.
That fuzzy feeling
How I love that feeling, inviting my friends to my house and cook for them. Not because I am such a good cook, despite of the taste; I like the idea of sharing and have a good conversation over foods.
I think me mom inherited it to me.
We have prepared this since two weeks ago. Enggar (@petitedevotchka) specially flew from Makassar. Aria (@tweetarwah) intentionally came over after his long-haul offline session with his 'beloved' clients. Heikal (@heikalsiregar), yes, he was all behind these things: his farewell. And of course least but not least my hubster Ariawan (thank you for the perfect juicy steak ya sayang). Not to forget Malicca as our cherry on top that night.
It happened so fast we did not have the chance to take pictures. Good conversation flooding as we pour more and more wine, mojitos, Sheridan and finally ... virgin Absolut Tropical. Me the preggy woman just looked at them happily as they tossed more and more, spooning my Kiwi float over and over. Oh, it was the first time Malicca tasted white wine by the way.
Deep inside, there was fuzzy feeling.
I always love when friends and families come to our house. But tonight, it is because Heikal is leaving soon for his Phd in London. While Enggar is preparing her submission too - which I feel that she will make it next year to Queensland - I feel sad and a bit empty when they went home.
If only we had done this more often. And not only that. If only taking postgraduate is not the only possible way to live abroad. I would have done anything (unless leaving my family) to get the tickets. Now I can only count on my hubster to get us out of this country, and I feel pathetic because of it. I want to do something too. Something that fasten the process and make sure the tickets on hand. But no, not taking post graduate. My kids deserve the education more than me.
Ariawan seemed understood whats in my head. As we take our guests out, he said to me "Next year, okay? We are going next year."
Where? I did not ask. But I trust him. Even if I didn't, I just want to have the faith that we can.
Inshaa Allah.
Don't Stop
"Bunda, bunda seneng nggak Titan bantuin Bunda hari ini?"
"Bunda, nanti bobonya Titan pengen dipeluk trus diipuk-ipuk pantatnya"
"Aki, Titan lagi bete soalnya lagi ngantuk; nanti aja telpon lagi ya."
"Bunda, kenapa sih bunda seneng banget pake baju itu? (red: maksudnya baju daster) ... nggak bagus ah, Titan nggak suka."
"Bunda, bunda rambutnya panjangin dooong. Jadi kalo dielus-elus panjaaaang sampe ke bawah gitu."
How grateful I am to have such an expressive kid, like you.
Don't stop.
And so I know what you're feeling, what you're thinking
not because I am such a caypoh mom
but simply because you're part of me.
Love you, Malicca.
And so I know what you're feeling, what you're thinking
not because I am such a caypoh mom
but simply because you're part of me.
Love you, Malicca.
One of those days
Hari Minggu kemarin: one of the happiest days in my life.
Seringkali, di kepala ini ada banyak banget rencana. Tapi entah kenapa suka tetiba gagal atau belum juga terwujud nyata cuma karena 'belum kepengen' ngerjain.
Timing emang beda sama momentum. Dan ternyata emang momentum itu nggak bisa ditebak kapan datengnya.
Seperti hari ini.
Udah lama banget aku dan suami 'ngerasani' rumput-rumput liar di halaman depan (yang udah mulai nular ke belakang). Apalagi, sejak si bocah nemu pohon cabe-cabean, makin pasrahlah kita. Tau nggak pohon cabe-cabean? Ituuu yang buahnya panjang-panjang kira-kira 2 sentimeter, kalo udah mengering dan warnanya coklat bisa direndem di air dan dia akan meledak. Naaaaaah! Exactly! Bijinya itu jadi nyebar kemana-mana termasuk ke habitat halaman belakang yang memang udah setengah dipasrahin karena ada dua penghuni cantik lucu berbulu tapi nakalnya minta ampun! Alias, ... dua ekor kelinci. Pohon liar cabe-cabean itu jadi tumbuh dimana-mana. Skala pertumbuhannya jauuuuuuh lebih cepat daripada pohon pandan bali di pojokan -__-
Di hari minggu pagi yang indah ini, si bumil ini tetiba terbangun. Dengan agak ragu dia bangunin tuh suaminya yang lagi bobok enak-enak.
"Bubu, beli rumput yuk!"
Tanpa disangka-sangka, si Bubu menjawab "Hayuk!"
Wah, si bumil takut dirinya berubah pikiran. Secepat kilat dia ganti baju, sarapan dan masuk mobil. Si bocah bahkan ditinggalin di kamar. Well, karena dia masih tidur juga sih dan sabtu kemarin seharian kecapean muter-muter mulai dari pameran flona di lapangan banteng, ke planetarium trus ke museum joeang '45 HANYA untuk ngeliat mobil dinas pak karno @__@
Beberapa hari sebelumnya saya emang bertanya-tanya sama temen kantor saya, Ajat, yang ternyata tau dimana tempat beli rumput. Letaknya ternyata sangat dekat dari rumah. Emang dasar nggak pernah menjelajah daerah sekitar ya... setelah celingak-celinguk akhirnya ketemu juga sama penjual rumput.
Ho ho ho, inilah namanya hidayah. Niat tanya-tanya, ternyata abangnya nantangin untuk pasang pagi itu juga. Oh, senang sekali bisa instan seperti ini. Setelah tawar-menawar, akhirnya kita deal. Pasang 25 meter persegi rumput gajah mini plus nambah tanah.
Sambil nunggu mobil pick up ngangkut rumput dan tanah, kita jalan-jalan ke samping. Eh nemu tukang batu alam. Pembukaannya aku cuma bilang gini "Bang, mana batu yang paling murah?" Dan ternyata bener, batu koral adalah batu hias yang paling murah dibanding yang lain. Harganya lima belas ribu per karung sementara batu yang lain bisa empat puluh ribuan. Ah, kapok deh pakai batu hias. Kalau nggak warnanya luntur, dia yang nyerap kotoran. Ujung-ujungnya jadi berubah warna. Kalau batu koral udah ketebak, kalau nggak jadi hitam kalau kena air atau paling juga berlumut. Okelah, angkut deh tuh batu!
Abis itu kita mampir sebentar ke toko pot untuk beli beberapa pot gantung dan pot untuk mecahin pohon-pohon yang udah bergumul di pot yang udah terlalu kecil buat mereka.
Sampe rumah, si jagoan kecil baru aja bangun. Alhamdulillah .... ngambeknya nggak kelamaan karena aku langsung nawarin project kegiatan hari minggu: berkebun!
Sengaja tadi di toko pot beli beberapa pot untuk menyemai dan pupuk kompos.
Dasar anaknya mauan dan emang seneng melakukan apa aja, mulai deh dia seru bertanam.
Nggak lama kemudian mobil rumput pun datang dan si abang segera cangkul-cangkul rumput liar.
DIE YOU DIE, WEEDS!!!!!
Sekarang, halaman depan sudah rapi. Buah sawo yang lagi rajin berbuah pun udah aku plastik-plastikin supaya nggak dimakan codot. Bubu and Malicca looked happy too! Walaupun kita bertiga sempet tepar dan teramaze-amaze sama si bapak yang nggak hentinya tekun nyangkulin tanah dan nanemin rumput.
Sorenya, saat aku lagi bikin minuman dingin, tiba-tiba si jagoan kecil masuk dan menghampiri.
"Bunda seneng nggak Titan bantu-bantu hari ini?"
Aku cuma senyum, berlutut mensejajarkan mata dengannya.
"I am sooo very happy! Terima kasih yah, rumahnya sudah cantik sekarang."
Dia cuma mencibir malu. Tapi akhirnya jawab juga sih ....
"Titan juga seneng. Apalagi punya project holiday nanem-nanem di pot yang tadi bunda beliin"
Oh ... yes, this is definitely one of the bestttttttest day in my life.
Thank you, Bubu!
Thank you, Titan!
Seringkali, di kepala ini ada banyak banget rencana. Tapi entah kenapa suka tetiba gagal atau belum juga terwujud nyata cuma karena 'belum kepengen' ngerjain.
Timing emang beda sama momentum. Dan ternyata emang momentum itu nggak bisa ditebak kapan datengnya.
Seperti hari ini.
Udah lama banget aku dan suami 'ngerasani' rumput-rumput liar di halaman depan (yang udah mulai nular ke belakang). Apalagi, sejak si bocah nemu pohon cabe-cabean, makin pasrahlah kita. Tau nggak pohon cabe-cabean? Ituuu yang buahnya panjang-panjang kira-kira 2 sentimeter, kalo udah mengering dan warnanya coklat bisa direndem di air dan dia akan meledak. Naaaaaah! Exactly! Bijinya itu jadi nyebar kemana-mana termasuk ke habitat halaman belakang yang memang udah setengah dipasrahin karena ada dua penghuni cantik lucu berbulu tapi nakalnya minta ampun! Alias, ... dua ekor kelinci. Pohon liar cabe-cabean itu jadi tumbuh dimana-mana. Skala pertumbuhannya jauuuuuuh lebih cepat daripada pohon pandan bali di pojokan -__-
Di hari minggu pagi yang indah ini, si bumil ini tetiba terbangun. Dengan agak ragu dia bangunin tuh suaminya yang lagi bobok enak-enak.
"Bubu, beli rumput yuk!"
Tanpa disangka-sangka, si Bubu menjawab "Hayuk!"
Wah, si bumil takut dirinya berubah pikiran. Secepat kilat dia ganti baju, sarapan dan masuk mobil. Si bocah bahkan ditinggalin di kamar. Well, karena dia masih tidur juga sih dan sabtu kemarin seharian kecapean muter-muter mulai dari pameran flona di lapangan banteng, ke planetarium trus ke museum joeang '45 HANYA untuk ngeliat mobil dinas pak karno @__@
Beberapa hari sebelumnya saya emang bertanya-tanya sama temen kantor saya, Ajat, yang ternyata tau dimana tempat beli rumput. Letaknya ternyata sangat dekat dari rumah. Emang dasar nggak pernah menjelajah daerah sekitar ya... setelah celingak-celinguk akhirnya ketemu juga sama penjual rumput.
Ho ho ho, inilah namanya hidayah. Niat tanya-tanya, ternyata abangnya nantangin untuk pasang pagi itu juga. Oh, senang sekali bisa instan seperti ini. Setelah tawar-menawar, akhirnya kita deal. Pasang 25 meter persegi rumput gajah mini plus nambah tanah.
Sambil nunggu mobil pick up ngangkut rumput dan tanah, kita jalan-jalan ke samping. Eh nemu tukang batu alam. Pembukaannya aku cuma bilang gini "Bang, mana batu yang paling murah?" Dan ternyata bener, batu koral adalah batu hias yang paling murah dibanding yang lain. Harganya lima belas ribu per karung sementara batu yang lain bisa empat puluh ribuan. Ah, kapok deh pakai batu hias. Kalau nggak warnanya luntur, dia yang nyerap kotoran. Ujung-ujungnya jadi berubah warna. Kalau batu koral udah ketebak, kalau nggak jadi hitam kalau kena air atau paling juga berlumut. Okelah, angkut deh tuh batu!
Abis itu kita mampir sebentar ke toko pot untuk beli beberapa pot gantung dan pot untuk mecahin pohon-pohon yang udah bergumul di pot yang udah terlalu kecil buat mereka.
Sampe rumah, si jagoan kecil baru aja bangun. Alhamdulillah .... ngambeknya nggak kelamaan karena aku langsung nawarin project kegiatan hari minggu: berkebun!
Sengaja tadi di toko pot beli beberapa pot untuk menyemai dan pupuk kompos.
Dasar anaknya mauan dan emang seneng melakukan apa aja, mulai deh dia seru bertanam.
Nggak lama kemudian mobil rumput pun datang dan si abang segera cangkul-cangkul rumput liar.
DIE YOU DIE, WEEDS!!!!!
Sekarang, halaman depan sudah rapi. Buah sawo yang lagi rajin berbuah pun udah aku plastik-plastikin supaya nggak dimakan codot. Bubu and Malicca looked happy too! Walaupun kita bertiga sempet tepar dan teramaze-amaze sama si bapak yang nggak hentinya tekun nyangkulin tanah dan nanemin rumput.
Sorenya, saat aku lagi bikin minuman dingin, tiba-tiba si jagoan kecil masuk dan menghampiri.
"Bunda seneng nggak Titan bantu-bantu hari ini?"
Aku cuma senyum, berlutut mensejajarkan mata dengannya.
"I am sooo very happy! Terima kasih yah, rumahnya sudah cantik sekarang."
Dia cuma mencibir malu. Tapi akhirnya jawab juga sih ....
"Titan juga seneng. Apalagi punya project holiday nanem-nanem di pot yang tadi bunda beliin"
Oh ... yes, this is definitely one of the bestttttttest day in my life.
Thank you, Bubu!
Thank you, Titan!
Are we worth the way we live?
Someone introduced me the question long ago, in order to shock me to start my financial plan. I think she did hit me on my face. She looked at my wish list(s) and sighed.
Then I shared the question to a friend of mine when he was about to buy an iPhone.
He waited months for his bonus compliment.
He sold his Sony Playstation.
He waited another months to save and shrimp for the iPhone.
He joined the long queue for the iPhone launch held by a provider, and back home for nothing; for he did not have any credit cards.
He finally bought the iPhone a few months later.
But then sold it anyway for emergency, and brought another one. The S series.
"Are you worth the iPhone? Are you worth the life you live in?" I asked him when I knew how mad he had gone upside-down because of the quarter-bitten apple.
"Of course! I have worked hard after all this time!" He said (and sounded upset to me), then I got silent.
Do I really need that pricey present for myself too? After all I did? For the hard working, for all disappointments, for all those waits and winnings?
Am I worth a fluffy comforter, breakfast in bed and the warm bubble bath in luxurious hotel?
Am I worth days of me time enjoying a beach holiday?
Am I worth a shoe, limited edition bags and other pricey things?
Now it has been years. I do not know how my friend runs his life now, but the question still lives in me.
Are you worth these luxuries?
You can have everything, but not now.
Instead, you could rethink of it, you could sleep on it, or you could just made it.
Then I shared the question to a friend of mine when he was about to buy an iPhone.
He waited months for his bonus compliment.
He sold his Sony Playstation.
He waited another months to save and shrimp for the iPhone.
He joined the long queue for the iPhone launch held by a provider, and back home for nothing; for he did not have any credit cards.
He finally bought the iPhone a few months later.
But then sold it anyway for emergency, and brought another one. The S series.
"Are you worth the iPhone? Are you worth the life you live in?" I asked him when I knew how mad he had gone upside-down because of the quarter-bitten apple.
"Of course! I have worked hard after all this time!" He said (and sounded upset to me), then I got silent.
Do I really need that pricey present for myself too? After all I did? For the hard working, for all disappointments, for all those waits and winnings?
Am I worth a fluffy comforter, breakfast in bed and the warm bubble bath in luxurious hotel?
Am I worth days of me time enjoying a beach holiday?
Am I worth a shoe, limited edition bags and other pricey things?
I might be am.
Or, might be not.
Now it has been years. I do not know how my friend runs his life now, but the question still lives in me.
Lemon
I
am sure you have gone a situation when your physical was in an automatic mode
doing something; your mind was weaving beautiful words translating what your
brain was thinking.
Exactly
what I am doing at the moment.
I
am making a steam Dory. My hands are in their automatic mode chopping the
garlic, onion, spread them together with the salt and coriander to its body.
So
this is my life now, I said. What would be next? Then something stops me and
replies me in polite. She tells me to do what life is offering me. Just do.
I
lay the dory in a layer of aluminum foil then put some lemon on top of it. I
fold exactly like my husband taught me and so the aluminum will not leak and
let the water soak the fish while it is baked.
Then
I really stop thinking about what would happen next.
Period.
Is it what my life now? Really? I did not even trust my self I have become
numb. What? Numb? It is the only word I never wanted to be. But looking at me
now, I probably am. Without me realizing it, I might have reached that point of
loosing my sense. I don’t care much more about people and what happens around
the globe. Because even I do something about it, sometimes things just do not
change, and I got tired of trying.
Yeah,
tired. Bad things could happen when we feel tired. We become more sensitive and
hard to understand others yet we tend to demand people to understand us.
Tiredness impairs judgments most of the times. You got tired of hoping to
others and you can only trust yourself. But sometimes you got tired of pushing yourself
more and you got the maximum tiredness. There. Maybe there where the numb came
from.
If
it happens, make sure you got a hook to hang on. To me, it is my children. My
dreams might have died long ago, but not theirs.
I
put the dory in the oven for 20 minutes. It looks good, but tastes a bit sour
this time. Too much lemon. Just like what life give us sometimes?
:)
Really!
- Though today is not my birthday -
Today.
Hari ini, Malicca graduation.
Pakai toga, nyanyi Gaudeamus Igitur.
Beberapa hari sebelumnya, lagu itu sudah mengudara di rumah.
Bukan hanya itu, juga lagu mandarin, Que sera - sera dan I have a dream.
Bukan cuma Malicca, tapi ibunya ini juga harus menyiapkan kostum performancenya yang menggambarkan cita-citanya kelak: jadi koki.
Awalnya sih pengennya sewa aja.
Tapi tiba-tiba si anak berceloteh "Kenapa nggak bikin? Bunda kan bisa jahit. Tuh, baju yang ada bunganya bunda jahit, kan?"
Setelah browsing-browsing Pinterest, akhirnya dapat juga model baju koki yang 'sreg'.
Besoknya, aku titip nini yang selalu pergi ke pasar: baju koko putih dan dua meter kain kotak-kotak warna biru. Siangnya, aku menyempatkan diri untuk menelfon toko bahan kue langgananku untuk mencari tahu apakah mereka jual topi koki atau nggak. Alhamdulillah, semuanya dimudahkan.
Malicca terkaget-kaget saat melihat topi kokinya aku vermak.
"Ya ampun, ini Bunda jahit sendiri? Tangannya nggak papa? Nggak ketusuk?"
Besoknya, aku mulai membuat pola apron dan minta bantuan Bubu untuk menjahit. Hehehe, ... semata-mata karena dia pasti lebih rapi sih. Mata silinderku ini agak siwer kalau harus menjahit kain kotak-kotak. Alhamdulillah, semuanya sudah siap di hari Rabu.
Saat hari itu tiba, aku berjanji aku tidak akan menangis.
Tapi sayang, aku melanggar janjiku sendiri.
Melihat anak-anak itu bertoga, tidak tahu apa arti dari kelulusan, mereka mulai bernyanyi.
Mulai dari Que Sera - Sera, air mataku sudah meleleh tanpa henti. Simply karena lagu itu begitu dalam, dan begitu luas masa depan mereka nanti. Dilanjutkan dengan I have a dream, dan akhirnya Gaudeamus Igitur. Lalu mereka tiba-tiba mengeluarkan bunga dari bawah tempat duduk mereka dan memberikan bunga itu kepada ibu masing-masing.
Aku masih ingat 14 tahun lalu, saat aku lulus sidang dan langsung menelfon ibuku untuk memberi tahu. Beliau terbata-bata di telfon memberi selamat. Dan saat aku pulang, begitu erat ia memelukku.
Pakai toga, nyanyi Gaudeamus Igitur.
Beberapa hari sebelumnya, lagu itu sudah mengudara di rumah.
Bukan hanya itu, juga lagu mandarin, Que sera - sera dan I have a dream.
Bukan cuma Malicca, tapi ibunya ini juga harus menyiapkan kostum performancenya yang menggambarkan cita-citanya kelak: jadi koki.
Awalnya sih pengennya sewa aja.
Tapi tiba-tiba si anak berceloteh "Kenapa nggak bikin? Bunda kan bisa jahit. Tuh, baju yang ada bunganya bunda jahit, kan?"
Setelah browsing-browsing Pinterest, akhirnya dapat juga model baju koki yang 'sreg'.
Besoknya, aku titip nini yang selalu pergi ke pasar: baju koko putih dan dua meter kain kotak-kotak warna biru. Siangnya, aku menyempatkan diri untuk menelfon toko bahan kue langgananku untuk mencari tahu apakah mereka jual topi koki atau nggak. Alhamdulillah, semuanya dimudahkan.
Malicca terkaget-kaget saat melihat topi kokinya aku vermak.
"Ya ampun, ini Bunda jahit sendiri? Tangannya nggak papa? Nggak ketusuk?"
Ah ... aku cinta anakku. Begitu perhatiannya dia sama bundanya ini.
Saat hari itu tiba, aku berjanji aku tidak akan menangis.
Tapi sayang, aku melanggar janjiku sendiri.
Melihat anak-anak itu bertoga, tidak tahu apa arti dari kelulusan, mereka mulai bernyanyi.
Mulai dari Que Sera - Sera, air mataku sudah meleleh tanpa henti. Simply karena lagu itu begitu dalam, dan begitu luas masa depan mereka nanti. Dilanjutkan dengan I have a dream, dan akhirnya Gaudeamus Igitur. Lalu mereka tiba-tiba mengeluarkan bunga dari bawah tempat duduk mereka dan memberikan bunga itu kepada ibu masing-masing.
Aku masih ingat 14 tahun lalu, saat aku lulus sidang dan langsung menelfon ibuku untuk memberi tahu. Beliau terbata-bata di telfon memberi selamat. Dan saat aku pulang, begitu erat ia memelukku.
Yap, sekarang aku tahu bagaimana rasanya.
 |
| Someday |
 |
| 8 months preggy and attending a graduation. I feel overwhelmed! |
Malicca's bussiness day
Jadi, final project di term 4 ini adalah integrated subject yang semuanya berujung pada Bussiness Day project. Dengerin ceritanya dari hari ke hari, terus terang saya iri sekali. Seandainya waktu saya sekolah ada proyek macam begini.
Jadi, di Bussiness Day ini, secara berkelompok setiap kelas mendirikan sebuah perusahaan. Dibantu gurunya, mereka bener-bener mendirikan perusahaan mulai dari nol. Mulai dari mencari pemegang saham (which happens to be their teacher), nama perusahaan, bidang industri, marketing dan promotion sampai benar-benar turun jadi penjual dan kasir.
Untuk mata pelajaran bahasa inggris, Titan harus menginterview orang tua apa kira-kira donasi yang bisa diberikan dalam rangka bussiness day nanti.
Kemudian, ada juga surat permohonan bantuan usaha untuk subjek Bahasa Indonesia.
Karena nama perusahaannya adalah Summer Fun, akhirnya aku memutuskan untuk bikin cocktail pudding aja. And what would help sell much? of course, ... cute packaging!
Dibantu sama Lita, Selvy dan Yana teman-teman saya di kantor, akhirnya jadilah 25 cup kemasan pudding.
Malamnya, saya tinggal bikin almond pudding trus dikasih cocktail Del Monte di atasnya.
Voila! Jadi juga semua dalam waktu enggak lebih dari satu setengah jam :)
Besoknya, setelah acara opening dan yell-yell promosi dari semua kelas, Bussiness Day pun resmi dibuka. Titan jadi penjaga stand yang bertugas untuk jualan pudding, ice lemon tea dan pancake durian. Kata Willy, temenku yang sempet mampir ke sana dan ngeliat Titan jualan, ... katanya sih jualannya OK banget hahahaha! Untung dia nggak kedapetan jadi kasir hahaha, ... bisa rugi bandar perusahaannya :)
Aku menyempatkan diri untuk mampir juga ke Bussiness Day. Enggak lama, dan terakhir kali aku melihat gerainya Titan, pudding jualanannya tinggal sisa 3 (Tapi kok dijualnya cuma dua ribu rupiah ya? Ini mah kejual semua juga nggak akan balik modal hahahaha...)
Seru ya ... dan ini foto waktu Titan lagi bingung beli Aqua. Harganya dua ribu, dan dia bingung berapa kembaliannya saat dia membayar dua puluh ribu rupiah.
Beberapa hari setelah Bussiness Day selesai, aku pun menerima surat edaran terima kasih dari guru-guru di kelasnya sekaligus laporan keuntungan. Waaaah banyak juga ternyata untungnya. Mereka sekelas bisa pergi ke Lollypop, pesan delivery pizza, ... dan masih ada lagi sejumlah tunai yang akan dibagikan saat bagi raport beberapa hari lagi.
Wow! Way to go, kiddos!
sang penghujung
sudah beberapa hari ini aku selalu terbangun di penghujung malam
di batas hembus terdingin dan diantaranya
salahkan pada perubahan hormonal trimester ketiga
salahkan pada mimpi-mimpi yang kerap berujung nyata
salahkan pada kantung seni yang semakin terhimpit, kemudian menyungai
mengalir sepanjang malam
salahkan pada mereka-mereka yang suka mampir memberi pengingat
kalau sudah begini, aku hanya berserah diri
apa gunanya kantuk jika mata tak kunjung ingin menutup
biasanya aku keluar mencari hangat
si kecil di dalam perut pun biasanya ikut menggeliat
ke kiri, ke kanan, berkecipak bahagia melihat susu coklat hangat
tidak banyak yang kulihat, ... dan aku memang tidak berharap melihat sesuatu yang lain dari biasanya
mata bisa diatur, tapi telinga bersikeras untuk meliar
kudengar dengkur tidur kedua lelakiku, halus dan berirama
lalu dengung dispenser, kelotek musang di loteng, beberapa suara mendebam yang tak kutahu darimana asalnya
malam tiba-tiba menjadi ramai dengan perhelatan suara
dan tiba-tiba, aku jadi mendengar semuanya
aku memutuskan untuk kembali ke kamar
cukup celotek keyboard komputer yang menemaniku malam ini
sudah lama rasanya tidak menulis
merindu dengan rima, bermesra dengan alur pikir maju-mundur, melukis dan merangkai kata-kata, atau sekedar menjatuhkan pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang tak terjawab
mungkin benar kata orang, seringkali seni harus lahir dari rasa sakit
kemana rasa sakit itu?
atau karena aku telah hidup berbahagia dibanding tahun-tahun gelapku sebelumnya?
mungkin
atau mungkin terlalu banyak drama tidak penting yang menyempal mulut dan pikiranku setiap harinya
drama media sosial
drama penduduk negara ketiga
drama konflik selebriti dan politik yang sama sekali tidak pernah menarik
aku muak
semuak hari ini aku melihat puncak keapatisan seorang teman, seorang warga, seorang laki-laki dan entah apa lagi namanya:
dua orang abege mengendarai sepeda motor. tanpa helm. motor mogok di tikungan jalan kecil dan mobil pun tidak dapat menyalip. abege 1 sebagai supir tidak tahu apa yang harus dilakukan. ia menggebrak-gebrak soket spedometer berharap mesin kembali menyala. abege ke-2? asyik duduk di belakang dengan mata tak lepas dari gadgetnya. cuek, bahkan kaki asyik menangkring pada pedal dan membiarkan si teman menumpu beban motor dan beban dirinya yang tidak kecil.
menyedihkan. ada apa dengan kita?
di batas hembus terdingin dan diantaranya
salahkan pada perubahan hormonal trimester ketiga
salahkan pada mimpi-mimpi yang kerap berujung nyata
salahkan pada kantung seni yang semakin terhimpit, kemudian menyungai
mengalir sepanjang malam
salahkan pada mereka-mereka yang suka mampir memberi pengingat
kalau sudah begini, aku hanya berserah diri
apa gunanya kantuk jika mata tak kunjung ingin menutup
biasanya aku keluar mencari hangat
si kecil di dalam perut pun biasanya ikut menggeliat
ke kiri, ke kanan, berkecipak bahagia melihat susu coklat hangat
tidak banyak yang kulihat, ... dan aku memang tidak berharap melihat sesuatu yang lain dari biasanya
mata bisa diatur, tapi telinga bersikeras untuk meliar
kudengar dengkur tidur kedua lelakiku, halus dan berirama
lalu dengung dispenser, kelotek musang di loteng, beberapa suara mendebam yang tak kutahu darimana asalnya
malam tiba-tiba menjadi ramai dengan perhelatan suara
dan tiba-tiba, aku jadi mendengar semuanya
aku memutuskan untuk kembali ke kamar
cukup celotek keyboard komputer yang menemaniku malam ini
sudah lama rasanya tidak menulis
merindu dengan rima, bermesra dengan alur pikir maju-mundur, melukis dan merangkai kata-kata, atau sekedar menjatuhkan pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang tak terjawab
mungkin benar kata orang, seringkali seni harus lahir dari rasa sakit
kemana rasa sakit itu?
atau karena aku telah hidup berbahagia dibanding tahun-tahun gelapku sebelumnya?
mungkin
atau mungkin terlalu banyak drama tidak penting yang menyempal mulut dan pikiranku setiap harinya
drama media sosial
drama penduduk negara ketiga
drama konflik selebriti dan politik yang sama sekali tidak pernah menarik
aku muak
semuak hari ini aku melihat puncak keapatisan seorang teman, seorang warga, seorang laki-laki dan entah apa lagi namanya:
dua orang abege mengendarai sepeda motor. tanpa helm. motor mogok di tikungan jalan kecil dan mobil pun tidak dapat menyalip. abege 1 sebagai supir tidak tahu apa yang harus dilakukan. ia menggebrak-gebrak soket spedometer berharap mesin kembali menyala. abege ke-2? asyik duduk di belakang dengan mata tak lepas dari gadgetnya. cuek, bahkan kaki asyik menangkring pada pedal dan membiarkan si teman menumpu beban motor dan beban dirinya yang tidak kecil.
menyedihkan. ada apa dengan kita?
Me. Now
This is me. Now.
I am 34 y.o, 32 weeks pregnant, have gained 13,5 kilograms and still crawling up (which I hope it would not be much), still supervising the shoot for TV commercials (this is the second continuity day by the way), and still driving my own. Sometimes, abang ojek is pretty handy too.
My life now is a bit ... tiring, if I may say.
Different from when I conceived Malicca, everything was easier. Of course, because I was only 28 by then. I was splurged by the easiness of finding food stalls around my office in Blok M, and my office mates always asked me "Bumil mau mau makan apa hari ini?" ... day and night. My previous office also paid so much attention to pregnant women that I wasn't given so much tasks outside office. Rather they put me on floating system so I could do more in the office for other teams. I had chances to have a power nap in my first semester, I did not have to drive myself, and as cherry on top ... I still lived with my parents at that time, with no obligations and 247 full-womb-service. I also said No to many things. I immediately stop as I see stairways. I drink my vitamin and calcium regularly, like a Swiss watch precision. I said NO to Teh Botol, Indomie and other artificials. I was a happy being the whole term, ... maybe that is why Malicca born as a happy child. Full of laughter, positive and friendly.
It is true what people said. That every pregnancy is different. Conceiving a baby after 6 years, I almost forgot what it felt like. My body, my metabolism, my brain functionals, all are way different now. To add with, my life now is a bit challenging. Workload, get domesticated with no maid and taking care of my kindergarten kid challenging behaviour and his never ending school projects all-together, ... they are such a production and is so time and energy consuming. These are the things I cannot have one by one. They happen together and me with the water-melony belly needs to juggle.
Is my life so struggling like you imagine?
I thought so too. But you know what, despite of the office thingy, I am happy.
This is what my life suppose to be. Being a wife, a mother and a working mom. To wake up earlier and prepare lunch boxes for hubby and son, to assist my son doing his school projects and get involved with the school community and activities, go to work, cook our dinner soon as I get back home. Sounds like I want to have every checklists a perfect mom has, ... but no I am not. I know I cannot be perfect, I just want to be capable.
Then when things getting rough, I have learnt that all I have to do is ask for a hand. Like the last shooting day in weekend. My hubby and son took me to the shooting location. My son was there beside me all day to entertain me, and there always bright sides in every dark. I taught him what a film production is. What director, setting, lighting, characters and scripts are. My hubby left for a few hours and got back with 4 orange trees I longed to have for my garden: Jeruk Nipis, Jeruk Limau, Jeruk lemon he forgot but substituted it with Jeruk Intan (that smells like jasmine) and Jeruk Kesturi.
I have learnt that no matter how hard our life is, it is very helpful to realize we have people around to give some help. And all we need to do is ask. Even a little hand can help, like how Malicca took a picture of me today.
I am 34 y.o, 32 weeks pregnant, have gained 13,5 kilograms and still crawling up (which I hope it would not be much), still supervising the shoot for TV commercials (this is the second continuity day by the way), and still driving my own. Sometimes, abang ojek is pretty handy too.
My life now is a bit ... tiring, if I may say.
Different from when I conceived Malicca, everything was easier. Of course, because I was only 28 by then. I was splurged by the easiness of finding food stalls around my office in Blok M, and my office mates always asked me "Bumil mau mau makan apa hari ini?" ... day and night. My previous office also paid so much attention to pregnant women that I wasn't given so much tasks outside office. Rather they put me on floating system so I could do more in the office for other teams. I had chances to have a power nap in my first semester, I did not have to drive myself, and as cherry on top ... I still lived with my parents at that time, with no obligations and 247 full-womb-service. I also said No to many things. I immediately stop as I see stairways. I drink my vitamin and calcium regularly, like a Swiss watch precision. I said NO to Teh Botol, Indomie and other artificials. I was a happy being the whole term, ... maybe that is why Malicca born as a happy child. Full of laughter, positive and friendly.
It is true what people said. That every pregnancy is different. Conceiving a baby after 6 years, I almost forgot what it felt like. My body, my metabolism, my brain functionals, all are way different now. To add with, my life now is a bit challenging. Workload, get domesticated with no maid and taking care of my kindergarten kid challenging behaviour and his never ending school projects all-together, ... they are such a production and is so time and energy consuming. These are the things I cannot have one by one. They happen together and me with the water-melony belly needs to juggle.
Is my life so struggling like you imagine?
I thought so too. But you know what, despite of the office thingy, I am happy.
This is what my life suppose to be. Being a wife, a mother and a working mom. To wake up earlier and prepare lunch boxes for hubby and son, to assist my son doing his school projects and get involved with the school community and activities, go to work, cook our dinner soon as I get back home. Sounds like I want to have every checklists a perfect mom has, ... but no I am not. I know I cannot be perfect, I just want to be capable.
Then when things getting rough, I have learnt that all I have to do is ask for a hand. Like the last shooting day in weekend. My hubby and son took me to the shooting location. My son was there beside me all day to entertain me, and there always bright sides in every dark. I taught him what a film production is. What director, setting, lighting, characters and scripts are. My hubby left for a few hours and got back with 4 orange trees I longed to have for my garden: Jeruk Nipis, Jeruk Limau, Jeruk lemon he forgot but substituted it with Jeruk Intan (that smells like jasmine) and Jeruk Kesturi.
I have learnt that no matter how hard our life is, it is very helpful to realize we have people around to give some help. And all we need to do is ask. Even a little hand can help, like how Malicca took a picture of me today.
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Qur'an Surat Maryam: 6 يَّرِثُنِيْ وَيَرِثُ مِنْ اٰلِ يَعْقُوْبَ وَاجْعَلْهُ رَبِّ رَضِيًّا ٦ yaritsunî wa yaritsu min âli ya‘qûba w...
