Knalpot UFO

Kejadian ini terjadi saat aku lagi anterin Titan ke sekolah naik ojek pagi ini.
Tiba-tiba dia tanya:

T: Nda, UFO itu ada knalpotnya nggak?
Me: Ada (being sok tau)
T: Dimananya? Di bawahnya kan pintu masuk. Di samping-sampingnya, gitu? Kecil-kecil di sekeliling UFO-nya? 
Me: Hmm... nanti bunda cari tahu dulu deh
T: Nanti kalau udah tahu, telfon Titan ya Nda!
Me: hmmm (mikir)

A few hours later, I called him from the office.

Me: Titan, aku belum nemu knalpot UFO-nya niy... jadi belum bisa jawab. 
T: Nggak papa, nanti kalau udah ada telfon lagi ya.
Me: Iya, bunda cari terus lagi yah. 
T: Iya. Dadaaaaah

Oh, ... how empathetic a 4 years old son can be? I said to myself. And this is what I love about having kids, little people to grow with. They give reasons to catch up with things I'd never thought I need to know.

After a few hours of Googling and you tube-ing, I finally found that UFO is predicted to have exhaust pipe although it is not like the one we know. Yes, it was not literally mentioned but we can see it from the TR-3B diagram. 

Here are the links on how do UFOs operate and the anti-gravity system

Oh, I really need a cotton candy atta moment!

Rainbow and the magic pond

Once upon a time, there was a little boy. He had deep hazel eyes, tanned skin and feet as skinny as a bean stalk. He was an orphan and was very lonely. His best friends were the golden grass in the savanna. The forest ferns, the morning dew, the smell of rain when they touch the soil, the chirping birds, the bright blue sky and blinking stars, the marching ants and caterpillars, and other beautiful creatures around him. When the morning came, he woke up and greeted those wonderful things. He walked slowly and chanted beautiful prayers to them.

One day, it was raining and it washed away the colours of his surroundings. The green leaves, the shocking pink flower, the soil, the black tarantula, even his own skin had became dull. What was happening? The boy wondered. Not long after that, the rain stopped and the sun came out. He came out of his shelter and looked up the sky. ...he saw a colourful painting in the sky he had never seen before.

It was a rainbow.

He mesmerised of its beautiful colours. It was as colourful as the sun's flare that reflected in the surface of the morning dew he saw every day. And so the boy wondered, how was it to get the rainbow far in the sky. "Even if I grow bigger and taller, I would not be able to get the rainbow. And I am not a fairy who is born with a pair of silky wings!"  the boy mumbled.

Days and nights became the never-ending ponder of how to get the rainbow. One day, the boy got broken. He gave up. He cried desperately. He cried loud. ... Tears bursted out of his hazel eyes like a river. He did not stop crying until he suddenly realised that he was now standing in a pond. He was all surrounded by his own tears that became a pond. 

Not finished by his amazement, he realised something. The rainbow he had wished for, was now in front of him. It laid on the surface of the pond and he could see the rainbow closer and even touched it. The boy was so extremely happy! Every time he moved, he made ripples. And every time the ripples touched a surface, the surface became colourful too. The boy did not feel lonely anymore, because now he could play with the rainbow all day. And when the night came, the pond became a starry pond he could also touch.

This is a magical pond, he said to himself. A pond that was made of his own tears that brings happiness on the other day.  

Lentera Langit

"Dulu, dulu sekali. Langit begitu terang benderang dengan kemilau bintang. Semua saling beradu jauh melemparkan cahayanya. Tidak, mereka tidak akan membutakanmu. Cahaya mereka begitu terang, namun juga begitu lembut. Cahaya gemintang itu akan terbias di bola mata mereka yang kamu sayang saat kamu memandangnya.

Di langit yang dulunya terang itulah duduk seorang peri di ujung biduk rembulan dengan cahayanya yang temaram. Sendirian dan kedinginan, ia memandang ke kejauhan. Di belakangnya, menggantunglah lentera-lentera langit malam yang biasa kamu sebut bintang. Dan peri dengan sayap kecil inilah yang menjaga agar lentera-lentera itu agar senantiasa bercahaya. Sayap kecilnya telah mengantarnya menjelajah angkasa selama jutaan tahun lamanya. Ia berkelana mencari bintang-bintang yang mulai temaram. Dan jari-jarinya yang mungil akan menggosok permukaan setiap bintang supaya kembali bercahaya. Dan ia akan mengecupnya, supaya apinya kembali terang. Seperti dulu.

Tiba – tiba sebuah lentera yang menggantung di atas peri itu bergetar hebat. Tanpa ragu-ragu, peri itu segera mengambil ancang-ancang dan siap terbang. Dibungkukannya tubuhnya dan kaki kirinya yang mungil pun maju, bersiap mengambil langkah seribu. Dan … hop! Ia pun terbang. Tapi telat. Lentera yang bergetar hebat itu terlanjur jatuh. Meninggalkan buntut panjang yang berwarna keperakan dan melintas di kegelapan. Dan peri itu hanya menatap diam.

Setiap anak manusia menangis, gugurlah satu bintang di angkasa. Karenanya, hilanglah satu cahaya yang menerangi wajah sang peri. Hanya kamu yang bisa mengembalikan kilau mereka. Melalui tawa dan hangatnya pelukmu."

September 29th 2009

The blog of mommahood

Hello,
here comes my other blog :) a blog that is made to share my joyful days being a mother of Malicca titan .
enjoy y'all!

:)

Finding alternatives

First of all, I am not an education expert. This writing is based on experience and mostly, assumptions. I am not a lifetime learner I want to have double or triple degree after my name. I believe I don't have enough space in my brain to commit myself for another long-term study. My neurons died long ago. This writing is a piece from a mother who is still looking for best alternatives for his son's education.

Here the story goes. 

I have a son who is going to enter his early education program in the near future. He is four now. Based on some literatures I read, age of 5 is the ideal age to get formal education. So... yeah, I basically have another 6 months before he reaches the age of 5 but I practically have lesser than 4 months to decide which school he'll be joining. 

I don't know, much, about education and its system in this country. But I do know exactly what I don't want. That is, I don't want my son to get stressed about his school things. I don't want my son to be like me, grew up in favorite public schools ended up asking what kind of values I have learned at school and why did I have to learn so many useless subjects.

That is why, from Titan was 2, I kept looking for alternative solutions. Alternative education. And up to this moment, my mind sticks to a school that offers me different thing compare to other schools. I fell in love with this school since the first time I came to its open house long ago. I think, still it is the best of the rest but it doesn't mean I stop looking for alternatives. 

Unfortunately, alternative education in Indonesia is expensive by all means. Although not every expensive schools are good in quality.

I actually believe in home-schooling, and my son loves to learn at home as well and he actually asked for it. Even though I love teaching, but the idea home-schooling is still an odd idea to be applied in Indonesia. Like other unpredictable factor in this country, education has never had a fixed system as well. Hence, I kinda reluctant for the home-schooling thingy. To add with, I still have to be a full-time worker so it is impossible for me to teach my son at home. Why bother home-schooling if I need to pay a home-schooling teacher, may as well my son goes to regular school.

My search of better education varied from islamic school, catholic school, reputable public school and some private schools that is not based on religion. But then I got this thought that I want my son to grow in a neutral environment and let the religion be part of his daily practical life. Not as rituals or dogma he needs to do only because the teacher will give him bad marks when he fails. To add with, Islamic school has so many 'ujian praktek' which actually ... annoying.

Public school? Sorry, but I don't believe the system, specially its early education system. They are pushing their students too much but not providing sufficient teachers. National curriculum but taught by indonesian-english teachers who have awful grammars. So many uncorrelated subjects. Development is judged my grades. Unhealthy competition.

So, here comes the last choice ... national plus schools and their toppings. Those bla plus bla plus bla plus that makes me dizzy and when I am dizzy things get even more complicated specially for my wallet. Aha!

I only want a school that can make the student love to learn. I only want a school that will dig the inner potential of a child. Have I asked too much?

Well, ... yeah ... I know ... I realized that the simpler the checklists are; the harder it gets.

Is someone out there can help me finding out more alternatives? 

Titik terang

Hari ini. 

Sebuah sinar membias di jendela

Dari satu titik yang terang di luar,

menembus panel jendela dan menyelinap tisikan tirai

Terburai menjadi salur-salur yang kadang ada lalu tiada

Kadang emas, kadang putih

Kadang panjang bersambung, kadang pendek dan terputus-putus

Mengendap dan menyelinap

Melemah sampai akhirnya ia kalah ditelan ruang

Besok.

Berharap sinar yang sama akan datang kembali

Makanya mala mini harus bersiap-siap

Membuka daun jendela dan menyingkap tirai

Biar dingin menyelimuti hanya untuk semalam

Yang penting, pasti

Hangatnya sampai ke wajah

Dan membangunkanku dari mimpi

Let's talk about being single

Without having much to say, being single means having a simpler life. Happier? It’s another thing. Happiness is somewhere hiding on which angle we want to see. Hence, happiness is relative. But simpler life as a single is an absolute.

Being single has every meaning of having much time to think about our self. To decide and responsible for your self. To broaden or shrink life options on your own hand. The era when the world evolves around us. The self centered phase to glorify the ‘me time’ moment.

If you are a single now and life is complicated enough for you, maybe you should take a detour of your life. Having someone with an expectation he / she will to help you tosimplify your life; is obviously and definitely not the answer.

Afraid to be alone? Well, some of us do. But why do you have to feel alone when you have yourself? You have your dreams, you have things you love to do, you have your feet to bring you anywhere you possibly go, you have your mind to take you further. Remember, as long as you have a smart phone and an ear phone, you are not completely alone though :p

Feeling lonely? Well, … to be honest; it is not the feeling only a single can feel.  No one can deny that nothing greater can cure but a companion. But do you know the great mistake? Is when you are committed to someone yet you feel alone still.

Even though marriage could be one of the major stepping stones in your life, being single could be nice as well.

Being single and in love, … is even nicer. 

Being committed and always in love, I can say it is perfect. 

Me. Now.

Lately, I have been hearing some friends of mine (and to be honest, including me) are busy asking their friends and (of course) asking themselves, whether they are going to stay in advertising industry for (at least) another five years. While some others have started to grow their own business, we are still trying to figure out what we would do in our old days. Still we haven’t figured out yet, let alone of making the first step.

If I were asked why I jumped in to advertising, all I can say is … it’s a coincidence. I always want to major psychology, but one day on a lovely day, I read a poster about this newly opened major in University of Indonesia: Advertising, and I found some interesting subjects in it. So, I stripped down my choices in majoring psychology in Atma Jaya and let go my privilege in joining Mandarin literary in University of Indonesia and jumped myself in to the advertising subjects.

The question itself, leads to another question: why is it copywriter? Well, first was and still it is, because I cannot draw. Secondly, I was curious why on earth they named it Coca-Cola. Pretty absurd, but that was why I decided to become a copywriter. But the last, which is the most important of all, is because I simply love writing and 'bebikinan' as a concept. So, it is nice to work something you love about rite, though in the process still I need to compromise. Unless I am writing my own book and have it published my own, I will have still to compromise.

Filling in my career for about ten years, I had never thought I have jumped in to the wrong industry. I like doing my work, I am well paid, I managed myself to produce some works that were able to win some local awards that made me hijacked to some blue chip advertising affiliations in Indonesia, I pictured my final career will be a Creative Director or a Strategic Planner in my mid thirties.

But you know what, ... that was me not so long ago. Now, things are different.

I actually feel funny to realize some part of me has been shifting into another direction. I realized that I don’t want to be a Creative Director and I just want to keep creating. Is it to create advertising awards and inspiring campaign for a brand,  or create my own business or write my own book,  that’s another story. But I don’t want to be deeply involved in giant organization, play the management game and have the responsibility to nurture young creatives and bring the brand to another level.  

I had never pictured myself to leave the comfort zone of getting fixed income every month, health insurance and bonuses (If I am lucky), but now ... I do.

I had never pictured myself I would be happier if I stay at home and do the chores. I had never imagined I would be happy to feel the wind blow the curtain and I would just lying down on the clean, squeaky floor and happily looking at the ceiling and thinking what menu for dinner. But now, I do. 

I don't know whether I will leave capitalist company and start my own business soon, or I will stay and climb this organizational ladder. This is the first time in my life when keep changing is not bad at all, because it is not about being inconsistent. This, is about setting up short term objectives and no plan B. Everything is a main plan. Keep changing means adjusting for better days and being realistic when things are not fit in well. One thing for sure is, that I am still trying to remind myself as well.  That by being realistic my life would be much simpler. The dream part? Let it be my son's.

Hmmm, that is pretty much how me is. For now.

With a blink of your eyes

"Momentum, momentum, momentum. That is all you need to win a chance."
Said my CEO in my previous office.

For a real businessman like him, maybe predicting a momentum is an art.
To analyze the timing of when to pull or push barriers toward chances.
To juggle alternatives and quickly make a decision.
Then with all the guts,
do the maneuver to get what we intended. .

Snap!
Only with a blink of our eyes, things change.

Only in a split seconds, we could fall in love.
Only with a sip of a coffee cup, you might get an idea to start your own business.
Only with a blink of my eye that beat my eleven years experience doing the safety driving,
I hit a truck.

There is always a first time for everything.
Today, it took me a blink away.

Talking to a Venus citizen

How long have we, man and woman, live together? Why until the day I am standing still, it is so hard for me to understand what a man is saying and why is it so hard for them to listen to what we are saying? Why when we meant good thing it many times end up contrary.

This is why ‘How to’ (in this case: talk) to people (in this case: a woman) is important. And to all men in the world, I will reveal you one thing about woman: women love to be asked, either it’s a simple question or a hard-slap one like “How are you feeling?” or “In what stage is the life you are living now?”

If only word comes in a tangible, soft and easy to shape like play dough, it would be very nice wouldn’t they? No matter what you want to say whether they are I love you, I am sad, I am disappointed, I wish you did that, I am happy or whatever, the shape and the colors of the dough is what most important.

Because words are only words, and we do not have enough vocabularies to describe what our brain says or what our feeling is. We need more devices to give a soul to the words we talk. Is angry will still left the same effect when you color it pink? Is love will give someone the same effect when you color it black?

Now, would you spend your time to think of how the shape would be and what color would you inject when talking to women?

Contact Report

For those who work in advertising and its related field, I bet you know what a Contact Report is. For those who listen this phrase for the first time, I will tell you what it is; as simple as I could.

Basically, contact report is a meeting report that is made by account service department after the meeting and will be sent to all the meeting participants, usually through e-mails. Contact Report is made so everyone in the team aware of what has been presented in the meeting, what are the comments and what are the next steps for the next meeting. Everyone can shout any disagreements in the contact report before 24 hours after it released. That is the theory, which much different in reality.

So you see how important a contact report is. But to tell you the truth, many of us related in the Contact Report thingy, take the Contact Report itself for granted. It is often abandoned. Neglected. Many times, everyone feels enough with their own notes on the meeting and just delete the contact report without reading it first. But for account service, a Contact Report is a must for them to do no matter what. So, … yeah, imagine yourself doing something you know it is a must but you also know people will ignore anyway.

I think, account department never get a nice reply of their Contact Report. “Thanks for the summary” or “Thanks for keeping us in the loop” or “Everything sounds cool and I can’t wait for the next meeting” and on. But for sure, they will get a harsh reply when something when wrong.

Are people only react when something is wrong? 

Now,

I want to take a Contact Report to another level. In a perspective of a mutual relationship. When someone is trying to keep maintaining the relationship, with every little thing they could do, but the other one is taking it for granted.

Well, … it is pretty common, isn’t it? To ignore something that has become a routine for you and only stand up when there is something wrong. Hence when the routine stops, it actually affects the relationship that has been built.

A kiss every morning as you wake up that becomes routine, can you imagine waking up one day without it? 
A stupid MMS picture of someone's lunch menu everyday; you just see and give no response.  but do you know it is how someone is trying to communicate with you? 
When someone sends you song everyday that might squeeze your e-mail inbox might be irritating, you might have heard the song anyway. But do you know someone might be cheering you up or telling his / her feelings for you through the song? Let alone of doing the same thing, but have you ever say thanks or spare your little time to reply?

Are people only react when something is gone? Why do we tend to keep looking what we don’ t have instead of trying hard to keep things we have. Just like a Contact Report being flushed in the trash bin of your computer. Just like a mutual relationship just forgotten.  

Is this love?

I thought it was just another morning; to wake up, dive into Jakarta's traffic and finish piles of job requests before deadlines. But I was wrong, the morning was not as freezing as it'd been. I woke up and see the sun's ray get through the curtain and it gave me a little warmth on my cheek. My eyes were blinking, like a hamster awaken from its longest dream. My fingers run to the window pane and softly touched it. It's warm and clear. To my surprise, summer comes sooner.

The little warmth this morning ignited a little idea in my head. It tucked me over and over like shoulder panes that sticking out, ready to be wings. Like saliva coming through my lips through a softest kiss.

Is this love that warmth my day?

Is this love? The idea of forgiving what happened and embrace the nemesis in me and in other's that infected my life.

Is this love? The idea of keeping the hope alive and keep it protected from the ancient whirlwind that kept hunting it.

Is this love? To accept that you are actually alone. To realize that even your own shadow will leave you in the dark, but loneliness would not stop you to be happy.

Is this love? To have a little flame inside you that gives you supadupa energy to keep walking.

Is this love, when you think to be happy is easy and to be happy for others is easier?

Is this love?

I don't know.
Maybe it is, maybe it is not. But why bother? Can't I just feel it while it lasts?

18:45

Ada saatnya dimana segala sesuatu tetap tidak bisa mengisi relung yang satu itu
Yang akan tetap mendengung lembut saat angin mencoba merasuk hingga menimbulkan rasa tertusuk
Relung yang tetap merindu, dimana debu tak bisa menyapu gurat wajahmu meski dalam bayang
Relung yang tetap bernyanyi melafalkan satu nama dan sebait doa untuk angin
agar angin menghantarkannya ke seberang.

souls in shadows

menyapa sopan jiwa-jiwa yang kelam
yang bayangnya ingin kupinjam
hanya malam ini saja
toh dia akan meninggalkanmu dalam gelap
dan melayang, mengembara entah pergi kemana

dan akan kusemat dia di sela jeda antara
detak yang teratur

saat surya menyapa
dan bayangmu harus kembali 
kan kuhembus paruh jiwaku kepadanya
dan lahirlah aku di bayangmu

agar saat gelap merayap
dan dia pergi meninggalkanmu
kamu tidak sendiri
ada aku di sini.

Yuk terus berirama, 
dengan tetap menyisakan sedikit ruang ketidakpastian.

Aku ingin ambilkan kamu bulan

Aku ingin ambilkan kamu bulan

Supaya orbitalnya berpindah kepadamu

Dan kamu akan selalu berputar di sekelilingku

Aku ingin ambilkan kamu bulan

Supaya kamu tidak hidup di dalam bayang

Supaya aku bisa menelusuri garis wajahmu karena kini kamu berdiri dalam terang

Aku ingin ambilkan kamu bulan

Supaya aku tidak perlu lagi menunggu malam

hanya untuk bertemu kamu dalam mimpiku

Aku ingin ambilkan kamu bulan

Supaya hanya kamu yang bisa menarik gravitasiku

Dan air pun memasang hingga asin bahagia berurai di mataku

Aku ingin ambilkan kamu bulan

Tapi sayang, … aku tidak bisa.  

Karena aku menghitung demi purnama

Hingga akhirnya ia mengizinkanku untuk bertemu denganmu

An interlude

"Can you sing real?
Utter what your heart is really feel,
instead of saying things that I want to hear.
It is the only way my broken heart be healed."

Investment to be alive

This is a note to myself #2

People usually do invest on money to survive.
But like investing our money, we can actually invest on ideas.
Little by little, we do it every day in different forms, and we will see in the future which ideas have grown and survived the evolution.
This is what I call an investment not only to survive, its to be alive.

Living a pie chart

This is a note to myself #1

The holy bible said that things will be beautiful on its own time.
Some of us might think that momentum will determine everything,
that when the time is right then everything would be beautiful.

Yes, that is true. But, what if we see it from another angle.
Why don’t we make something beautiful at every time?
So it is like living a pie chart; when you diver your day into little chunks and you do different things you love in each chunk. Yes, you will not finish a project in a day, but at least you start many things little by little in every time.
So the focus is not on the object you are doing, but on the subject instead. Focus on keep doing things.