blinded star sparkling eye
lies beneath the stormy sky
warmth wind kisses chill
isn't it true that you are here?
flies flapping lies flying
all becomes the words dying
clinking through snapping glasses
still i should believe in you without cause
for i have thought a million things
for i have flown a million wings
share the love ignored them
where you are, therefore i am.
- duet puisi gue dan burat via Yahoo! Messenger, ... sekitar 4 tahun yang lalu, dan baru kemarin kita duduk bareng untuk ngasih judulnya -
:)
chapter three
...
and the bubble pops off into thin air.
and so is my love.
-dedicated to darkfuchsia-
and the bubble pops off into thin air.
and so is my love.
-dedicated to darkfuchsia-
Take My Hand
Yes, we are crossing the road my dearest secret love.
Indeed the day is so busy. They’re busy looking at us, maybe. Can’t you see that?
They’re jealous. Never mind them.
Yes, take my hand my dearest secret love.
Take them and hold them tight, and never let me go.
Let them know,
… yes I want them to know.
Run, run my dearest secret love.
Run as fast as you can!
Just like I ran from reality, just like you ran away from your feelings for me.
Yes, take my hand my dearest secret love.
Take and hold them tight, and never ever let me go.
(30.03.09 / 16.42)
Indeed the day is so busy. They’re busy looking at us, maybe. Can’t you see that?
They’re jealous. Never mind them.
Yes, take my hand my dearest secret love.
Take them and hold them tight, and never let me go.
Let them know,
… yes I want them to know.
Run, run my dearest secret love.
Run as fast as you can!
Just like I ran from reality, just like you ran away from your feelings for me.
Yes, take my hand my dearest secret love.
Take and hold them tight, and never ever let me go.
(30.03.09 / 16.42)
It’s been a while
It’s been a while since I last laughed out loud in this office.
going through all deadlines,
all hatreds,
all well-jealous thingy,
all disappointment s and those promises,
all stupidities,
all targets, all cuts by a million buts,
all those moronic people,
all those ego.
This morning, I had just asked myself. I like this industry, but do I love what I am doing?
Well, .. these are some of the things that make me hanging here. Still.
I love you guys!
:)
mmmhh....
what makes it wonderful when you have crushed on someone?
yea!
when everything is so unclear.
when you have so many things to ponder.
when you cowardly look at his eyes.
when you feel there is something with him but you do not know and too afraid to ask.
when bumping into his eyes makes your cheek flushes like strawberry ... so delightful to be kissed.
when you imagine his soft, marshmellowy lips touch yours.
when you imagine you are crossing the road in Paris, hand in hand in a summer rain.
when you just don't know what to do.
when you just want the whole world to know but you can not tell.
when your heart is pounding hard, and you do not know wether it is happy or worry.
when you suddenly become creative making pick up lines.
when a 'hi' hears like a pope's sermon
when you just pretend not to hear his voice, and try not to look at where the voice comes from.
when everything is so beautifuly captured in your mind.
and when you know that he loves you to,
slowly everything will be back to normal.
and you just keep looking and asking where the love has gone.
:)
(19.03.09 / 19.30)
yea!
when everything is so unclear.
when you have so many things to ponder.
when you cowardly look at his eyes.
when you feel there is something with him but you do not know and too afraid to ask.
when bumping into his eyes makes your cheek flushes like strawberry ... so delightful to be kissed.
when you imagine his soft, marshmellowy lips touch yours.
when you imagine you are crossing the road in Paris, hand in hand in a summer rain.
when you just don't know what to do.
when you just want the whole world to know but you can not tell.
when your heart is pounding hard, and you do not know wether it is happy or worry.
when you suddenly become creative making pick up lines.
when a 'hi' hears like a pope's sermon
when you just pretend not to hear his voice, and try not to look at where the voice comes from.
when everything is so beautifuly captured in your mind.
and when you know that he loves you to,
slowly everything will be back to normal.
and you just keep looking and asking where the love has gone.
:)
(19.03.09 / 19.30)
i miss again
as the rain starts falling
to the ground
time and time
as i sit on the bench
here with the wind, with the sky
with the spring, with the autumn
with love season, never spoken
with a word, without a sound
to the ground
time and time
as i sit on the bench
here with the wind, with the sky
with the spring, with the autumn
with love season, never spoken
with a word, without a sound
it's been a while
it's been a while since we left our dreams
that is now like scattered pearls
and we slipped away
as the time passes by
"Don't leave me" I say
"Why don't you try to catch me, this time? it says.
that is now like scattered pearls
and we slipped away
as the time passes by
"Don't leave me" I say
"Why don't you try to catch me, this time? it says.
Just another day
Woke up from the King Koil land, and a fluffy Romance comforter.
I took a gasp of free unbranded air. Touched the moist morning dew with no price and watched the green velvety grass through the magnificent pixels of my eyes.
A drop of Dove and a pail of fresh water, just a perfect combination to sweep my sleepy eyes away. A swipe of ROC on my cheek, and a Body Shop comb softly touch my hair. A sprinkle of baby powder and a perfect smear of the Mennen Lady Speed Stick deo. And an Estee Lauder Pleasure, squirted on my neck.
Such a day-booster. *Finger crossings.
A miss sixty brown turtle neck matched with an A-line unbranded jeans skirt. Last, a pink hooded jacket warmth me up from this never ending summer rain.
A Jesselyn loaf bread. With a spread of Elle & Vire 75% trim fat butter and colorful chocolate sprinkle. A strawberry jam with a glass of low-fat Ultra Milk. A package of nutrition to start my day.
I surely hope so.
On my lunch box: rice, Indonesian steak, mixed veggies and two cubes of a fried bean curd.
And off me go. Bubble my Titan a good bye through my Honda City.
Once arrived, need to get to my Niaga ATM. Pay some Citibank and Telkomsel bills.
There I was. Watching the ads on some kind of branded (but I forgot what it is) TV panel while waiting the elevator to stop by. 6th floor.
My another phase of life.
And here I am, staring at the Pandora Box called monitor. An HP. Opening Yahoo messenger, Facebook, Multiply, Google, Dictionary.com and Outlook Express application. Getting autistic with the Sennheiser headphone.
Chit and chat.
This and that.
Waiting the time goes by. Till I’m back to my King Koil land. And let the other day begins.
Again.
Lowe, Feb 3rd 2009
I took a gasp of free unbranded air. Touched the moist morning dew with no price and watched the green velvety grass through the magnificent pixels of my eyes.
A drop of Dove and a pail of fresh water, just a perfect combination to sweep my sleepy eyes away. A swipe of ROC on my cheek, and a Body Shop comb softly touch my hair. A sprinkle of baby powder and a perfect smear of the Mennen Lady Speed Stick deo. And an Estee Lauder Pleasure, squirted on my neck.
Such a day-booster. *Finger crossings.
A miss sixty brown turtle neck matched with an A-line unbranded jeans skirt. Last, a pink hooded jacket warmth me up from this never ending summer rain.
A Jesselyn loaf bread. With a spread of Elle & Vire 75% trim fat butter and colorful chocolate sprinkle. A strawberry jam with a glass of low-fat Ultra Milk. A package of nutrition to start my day.
I surely hope so.
On my lunch box: rice, Indonesian steak, mixed veggies and two cubes of a fried bean curd.
And off me go. Bubble my Titan a good bye through my Honda City.
Once arrived, need to get to my Niaga ATM. Pay some Citibank and Telkomsel bills.
There I was. Watching the ads on some kind of branded (but I forgot what it is) TV panel while waiting the elevator to stop by. 6th floor.
My another phase of life.
And here I am, staring at the Pandora Box called monitor. An HP. Opening Yahoo messenger, Facebook, Multiply, Google, Dictionary.com and Outlook Express application. Getting autistic with the Sennheiser headphone.
Chit and chat.
This and that.
Waiting the time goes by. Till I’m back to my King Koil land. And let the other day begins.
Again.
Lowe, Feb 3rd 2009
Perempuan Sederhana
Dingin pagi itu menggigit. surya yang rabun ayam. Bulu kuduk segera berdiri menyambut tetes embun yang begitu murni. Kusibak jendela. Dan tertatih, perempuan tua itu melewati rumahku. Membawa cangkul, membawa arit dan sekantung karung beras kosong temuan dari tempat sampah. Tentu bukan bekas karung beras miliknya. Mana pernah punya?
...
Mata surya mulai terbuka. Semua denyut kehidupan mulai berdetak. Begitu pula denyut hidupku.
Dan perempuan itu kembali . Kini makin jelas rautnya. Gurat kehidupan menggelayuti matanya. Mengikis senyumannya. Dengan cangkul dan arit di tangan kanan. Dan setengah karung bunga mawar kuburan di kanannya. Hasil petikan di pagi buta. Kakinya yang titpis, lebar dan memekar, bertelanjang menjejak aspal yang mulai panas.
Di depan rumahnya menunggu anaknya. Nongkrong di warung sambil merokok dan minum kopi. ”Hari ini gue pengen makan kepiting, Mak!”
Perempuan itu diam. Diam sediam diamnya batu yang tetap diam terkikis air. Yang hanya diam dikerayapi lumut. Membisu di bawah telapak kaki anjing.
Lalu ia berdoa. Sebuah doa yang sederhana. Ia berdoa, agar banyak orang yang mati hari ini. Lebih banyak dari kemarin. Agar bunganya laku. Agar anaknya bisa makan kepiting.
January 29th 2009
...
Mata surya mulai terbuka. Semua denyut kehidupan mulai berdetak. Begitu pula denyut hidupku.
Dan perempuan itu kembali . Kini makin jelas rautnya. Gurat kehidupan menggelayuti matanya. Mengikis senyumannya. Dengan cangkul dan arit di tangan kanan. Dan setengah karung bunga mawar kuburan di kanannya. Hasil petikan di pagi buta. Kakinya yang titpis, lebar dan memekar, bertelanjang menjejak aspal yang mulai panas.
Di depan rumahnya menunggu anaknya. Nongkrong di warung sambil merokok dan minum kopi. ”Hari ini gue pengen makan kepiting, Mak!”
Perempuan itu diam. Diam sediam diamnya batu yang tetap diam terkikis air. Yang hanya diam dikerayapi lumut. Membisu di bawah telapak kaki anjing.
Lalu ia berdoa. Sebuah doa yang sederhana. Ia berdoa, agar banyak orang yang mati hari ini. Lebih banyak dari kemarin. Agar bunganya laku. Agar anaknya bisa makan kepiting.
January 29th 2009
Ruang Hampa
Aku melangkah masuk.
Tak pasti, tapi ingin.
Dingin, semula.
Namun rasa itu merambat perlahan. Dan berhenti di ujung telingaku.
Bertelanjang kaki.
Bertelanjang dada.
Suara-suara organik di sekelilingku mereda perlahan.
Decit sepatu anak kampung.
Gosekan penggorengan tetangga.
Perawan-perawan ingusan berlompat tali.
Dan sapu lidi yang menyayat-sayat rerumputan. Tanpa ampun.
Sopannya mereka permisi.
Dengan senyum seribu arti.
Sirna tertelan bahasa tubuh.
Meninggalkan siluet dengus nafsu.
Tak lagi aku sadar.
Tenggelam dalam tarian hujan.
Ini ruang hampa.
Hampa celah.
Tak pasti, tapi ingin.
Dingin, semula.
Namun rasa itu merambat perlahan. Dan berhenti di ujung telingaku.
Bertelanjang kaki.
Bertelanjang dada.
Suara-suara organik di sekelilingku mereda perlahan.
Decit sepatu anak kampung.
Gosekan penggorengan tetangga.
Perawan-perawan ingusan berlompat tali.
Dan sapu lidi yang menyayat-sayat rerumputan. Tanpa ampun.
Sopannya mereka permisi.
Dengan senyum seribu arti.
Sirna tertelan bahasa tubuh.
Meninggalkan siluet dengus nafsu.
Tak lagi aku sadar.
Tenggelam dalam tarian hujan.
Ini ruang hampa.
Hampa celah.
Terima Kasih
Terima kasih Allah.
Atas semua cobaan dariMu pada hari ini.
Yang membuatku tersadar, sekali lagi.
KekuatanMu yang besar itu, masih ada.
Atas hidupku.
Atas semua cobaan dariMu pada hari ini.
Yang membuatku tersadar, sekali lagi.
KekuatanMu yang besar itu, masih ada.
Atas hidupku.
How can I thank you, my son?
You are trully my lucky charm.
I proved it again, ... simply because of you.
And how could I thank you?
Do you know what you've done?
Do you know what you've gained?
No, you're not.
Do you know how much I want to thank you, but I don't know what to do?
Reading you more books?
Give you a bath more often?
Play with you all day?
Or, simply being there when you need a hug.
My dear child,
you don't know what fortunates you have brought.
And I simply cannot afford, ... to thank you.
:(
I proved it again, ... simply because of you.
And how could I thank you?
Do you know what you've done?
Do you know what you've gained?
No, you're not.
Do you know how much I want to thank you, but I don't know what to do?
Reading you more books?
Give you a bath more often?
Play with you all day?
Or, simply being there when you need a hug.
My dear child,
you don't know what fortunates you have brought.
And I simply cannot afford, ... to thank you.
:(
Sudah lama sekali
Terakhir aku menulis di sini, 2 tahun lalu. Lebih, malah. Sekarang perasaan yang sama itu telah membuahkan seorang anak yang kini berusia 14 bulan. Sehat dan gagah seperti ayahnya. Persistent dan tidak sabaran, ... seperti ibunya. Suka mengulik sesuatu, seperti akinya hihihi
Perasaan yang sama.
Mungkinkah aku sedang mengalaminya lagi?
Perasaan yang sama.
Mungkinkah aku sedang mengalaminya lagi?
Thank You, I'm feeling the same thing once again.
Yap, exactly 8 months ago.
January 6th, 2006.
Now I'm feeling the same thing again.
That I cannot describe.
It's like I own the world.
Hope everything will be allright.
Dedicated to Farika, makasih untuk doa Nabi Zakaria-nya.
January 6th, 2006.
Now I'm feeling the same thing again.
That I cannot describe.
It's like I own the world.
Hope everything will be allright.
Dedicated to Farika, makasih untuk doa Nabi Zakaria-nya.
Jatuh cinta lagi dan lagi
jatuh cinta
bukan akhir segalanya.
tapi awal, ... entah itu berkah atau bencana.
sampai timbullah masalah-masalah
"Maaf" tak cukup saat salah satu diantara kita berbuat salah.
hanya aku, atau kamu
sendiri
mencoba menelaah
apa yang membuat kita saling jatuh cinta
saling percaya,
sampai akhirnya mengucap kata
hanya aku, atau kamu
sendiri
mencoba mencerna
apakah semua itu masih ada
seperti sedia kala
cinta itu
jatuh,
makanya kita tidak menyangka
jatuh,
karena tak ada yang sanggup melawan gravitasnya
cinta itu
saat semua tak lagi bernalar
saat semua tak lagi mampu terujar
yang sulit hanyalah belajar
jatuh cinta
lagi,
lagi,
lagi dan
lagi.
sampai aku mengerti
mengapa aku ingin kamu di sini
sampai kapan pun.
dedicated to Pumpy
bukan akhir segalanya.
tapi awal, ... entah itu berkah atau bencana.
sampai timbullah masalah-masalah
"Maaf" tak cukup saat salah satu diantara kita berbuat salah.
hanya aku, atau kamu
sendiri
mencoba menelaah
apa yang membuat kita saling jatuh cinta
saling percaya,
sampai akhirnya mengucap kata
hanya aku, atau kamu
sendiri
mencoba mencerna
apakah semua itu masih ada
seperti sedia kala
cinta itu
jatuh,
makanya kita tidak menyangka
jatuh,
karena tak ada yang sanggup melawan gravitasnya
cinta itu
saat semua tak lagi bernalar
saat semua tak lagi mampu terujar
yang sulit hanyalah belajar
jatuh cinta
lagi,
lagi,
lagi dan
lagi.
sampai aku mengerti
mengapa aku ingin kamu di sini
sampai kapan pun.
dedicated to Pumpy
Auriga
Auriga.
Kau datang lagi dengan biduk rembulan yang kau dayung menyeberangi langit kelam malam ini, menapaki setiap jengkal dimensi. Bercahayakan lentera dan lidah-lidah api yang menjilati kaki langit, merangkak berusaha menyibak rahasia malam.
Auriga.
Kau tak datang sendiri. Kabut tak ingin menutupi seolah tak kuasa menahan diri menyingkap mantra cantik raksasa yang maha mencipta dan maha rahasia.
Auriga.
Kau bawakan aku Rigel yang terang dan Scorpius yang menatap nanar di kejauhan. Lalu kau hampiri wajahku dengan ujung-ujung sayap langit utara yang pekat. Berhiaskan ribuan kunang-kunang yang saling berkedip seperti jutaan confetti yang kau semburkan, merajai kegelapan.
Auriga.
Senantiasa kau tunduk dan berdoa atas segala hiruk pikuk di tempatku berdiri. Seperti punduk. Dan senantiasa kau selalu ada di sana, menantiku untuk tak hentinya menatapmu. Seperti malam ini.
Auriga.
Cukuplah semua jadi rahasia kita berdua.
Kau datang lagi dengan biduk rembulan yang kau dayung menyeberangi langit kelam malam ini, menapaki setiap jengkal dimensi. Bercahayakan lentera dan lidah-lidah api yang menjilati kaki langit, merangkak berusaha menyibak rahasia malam.
Auriga.
Kau tak datang sendiri. Kabut tak ingin menutupi seolah tak kuasa menahan diri menyingkap mantra cantik raksasa yang maha mencipta dan maha rahasia.
Auriga.
Kau bawakan aku Rigel yang terang dan Scorpius yang menatap nanar di kejauhan. Lalu kau hampiri wajahku dengan ujung-ujung sayap langit utara yang pekat. Berhiaskan ribuan kunang-kunang yang saling berkedip seperti jutaan confetti yang kau semburkan, merajai kegelapan.
Auriga.
Senantiasa kau tunduk dan berdoa atas segala hiruk pikuk di tempatku berdiri. Seperti punduk. Dan senantiasa kau selalu ada di sana, menantiku untuk tak hentinya menatapmu. Seperti malam ini.
Auriga.
Cukuplah semua jadi rahasia kita berdua.
Bumi dan Wanita
Jutaan tahun kau menjejak
Jutaan tahun kau tumbuh
Beristri dan beranak pinak
Pindah dari tubuh ke tubuh
Tak juakah kau belajar?
Meninggalkanku seorang diri
Tak mampu lagi kuberdiri
Saat cantikku mulai pudar
Jantungku tak terperikan bergetar
Tak juakah kau mendengar?
Hingga tangisku pun mengering
Barulah kau berteriak nyaring
Memanggilku
Mengelukanku
Tak juakah kau berkaca?
Pada mata beningku yang tersisa
Pada kata hati yang mulai sirna
Nirwanaku yang hampir runtuh
Lalu langit pun bergemuruh
Tak juakah kau mengerti?
Jutaan tahun kau tumbuh
Beristri dan beranak pinak
Pindah dari tubuh ke tubuh
Tak juakah kau belajar?
Meninggalkanku seorang diri
Tak mampu lagi kuberdiri
Saat cantikku mulai pudar
Jantungku tak terperikan bergetar
Tak juakah kau mendengar?
Hingga tangisku pun mengering
Barulah kau berteriak nyaring
Memanggilku
Mengelukanku
Tak juakah kau berkaca?
Pada mata beningku yang tersisa
Pada kata hati yang mulai sirna
Nirwanaku yang hampir runtuh
Lalu langit pun bergemuruh
Tak juakah kau mengerti?
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Qur'an Surat Maryam: 6 يَّرِثُنِيْ وَيَرِثُ مِنْ اٰلِ يَعْقُوْبَ وَاجْعَلْهُ رَبِّ رَضِيًّا ٦ yaritsunî wa yaritsu min âli ya‘qûba w...
