Happy Birthday, Bapak!

He is my possible hero.
His tummy is flat and he drives.
He takes a little exercise with his 3 kilo barbell as he rocks his rocking chair.
He trains his brain memorizing surah in the holy Qur'an and go to the mosque every adzan.
He takes Luna for a bicycle ride almost every morning. A long distance, seriously.
He teaches Titan to climb a tree.
He was a basket ball player, was a pilot, was a policeman, and forever fisherman.
He said yes all his might, he says no when he can't.

He is my possible hero.
He is my dad.

Happy sweet seventy, Bapak.
Lot's of love and pray for your health and happiness.
This year, we celebrate it in the town where you were born.

The point of no return.

I think I have forgotten the last time I planned my life. So are thinking of things (material things) and the urge of having them like branded stuffs, luxurious vacations and great gifts for my love ones. Either because of the aging things, the things happened in my life that made me this way, or somehow my significant others who affected me somehow, someway. But for sure, I kind of lost that big chunk of me. The chunk that drives me to the upper ground and bloom when the weather is good.

I have been hibernating. I have been keeping myself underground for the reasons I made up, and I lost many chances because of it. I am not regretting it. I love and enjoyed it so very much.
Well, who doesn't?

I woke up with baby smell every morning. I can hug her every time, sing with her, bath with her, and everything. I worked for a super sexy brand once in a while that took me abroad. I read some books, I had massages very often, I had some holidays with family more than ever, ... a super lux life that ever happened to me.

But then the big question rose. So, what am i? A full time mother? Well, to be honest ... not really. I didn't cook much. I didn't clean up much. I didn't do much and I didn't go out much. So, am I just a lazy lady? Those who uses husband's money to be alive?

I always know, the life itself is like a seismograph. There is no way in life something would happen out of your pattern all of a sudden. There must be some signs, some intros some personal guts before the climax strikes. And anyways, I got the best experience by being so very picky in my hibernation times.

A best friend of mine said her answer when I wondered about the situation. "Just enjoy, when the time comes, it comes." Ariawan, being so logical like he always does, only said "To make a change, you need power. You need energy, like boiling water need a fire. You were just lacking of energy now and since you are fully hibernated, you think that you are ready to get back." and I am thank you for that, dear husband. I know I always have your support to do whatever I want in life, though somehow it ticked my pride too when I saw how big his willingness is to give all his have for me. For us. It was also hurt my pride too to see how passionate he was in doing everything he did, though he did not sleep for three weeks for the past projects. All in all, it was not about giving all he has for others. It was about giving all his might to himself.

I think my hibernation will be over soon. I sense the sun is coming up (again and again), giving me chances like it always did. It is just different now. Well, not so different afterall. I have been in most situations and I survived. I am proud of myself for going through this far.

Fighting!

It hurts, son.

What do you see when you see your child?

I can still remember his first cry.
Soft and weak, I almost lost my breath when I kissed him the first time.
He was the one who saved my life, one day in a misty night.
I can still remember how he got stuttered when I taught him how to read.
The feeling when he gave me little flowers, those he found on his evening walk.
The first time he led a prayer.
How he was proud of me and showed it off to his school friends.
How I see big things sparkling in his eyes, those times when everything is big things.

But then that day came.
The day I never thought it would happen soon.
The day he deceived me.

It did not take long for me to realize he is lying.
But I must say he is good.
Everyone is good when it is about self defense, aren't they?
And seeing that, I cannot tell how hurt I was.

"I am your mother, how could you lie to me?"
"I should be the one who protects you, why are you protecting yourself from your protector?"
"Where did you get the idea from? Did you pick it from me to be the best liar?"
Those were what comes to mind but I did not utter.

There I realize that my baby boy has all grown up in another step.
He is completely human with his shields to protect himself.
My little guy he is.
He is not an angel, afterall.


Malicca, you learnt best to survive by lying at the age of 8 years and 9 months.

Dream.

We need to have dreams.
You know,
something to keep us alive.
Something to look forward of what's in front.

They said.

Ever since, I kept wondering what my dreams are.
I kept looking.
I kept asking.

Until I saw you were dreaming that night
and said my name out loud.
I smiled.

I don't need a dream.
I am happy enough to live a life someone is dreaming about.

I am a happy mother

Today, I was tagged to post five photos that shows how happy I am as a mother on Facebook. I saw this post yesterday when a friend was being tagged too. I felt nothing. I did not even take a closer look of the photos she posted. Never expected I would be tagged such a thing, but I was.

After finished answering the challenge, i asked myself whether I am really happy being a mother who stays at home at the moment. It took me sometimes to answer.

For the past months, I have been looking for a chance to get back to the office. Some chances come, but none of them I could be sure of. Then I realised, it was not them who I was not sure of. It was me. I only made too much excuses just to translate how I don't want to leave my life today. How those offers cannot compensate the happiness I am bearing at the moment.

Somehow, I know I am being selfish.
But hey, after what I have done ... can't I be one?

I love to be in the pajama all day. I woke up, made some breakfast, take my baby girl to shower, teaching her all the things I know in life, talking endless to my son, texted hubby to come early, I am still enjoying it somehow.

***

"I often come upstairs in the middle of the night just to see whether you were okay, son. I tugged you in the blanket, I slept beside you and whispered all the good words I know for you to be. Do you know that?"

"I know. Last night you talked about how healthy you wanted me to be, right?"

"O, yes. I thought you were sleeping."

"I was. But I could hear your voice."

"Oh, then it is easier to talk to you in your sleep. Because you usually did not listen even when your eyes wide out."

And my big boy hugged me. I know he was sorry, I know he loves me much, I know he loves me being at home. Seeing her brother hugged me, little Luna came along and kissed me. On the lips, like always.

There.
And I am happy to see my children happy.
Then I know I am a happy mother.

I dedicate this post to my sister Yuniar, thank you for tagging me.

Doubled visions.

I experienced the double visions lately. A little accident occurred and needed to have a doctor put a medicated soft lense to heal the cornea faster. Only for a few days.
Hopefully,
my eye gets better,
visions get clearer,
and I am becoming wiser.

Hahaha.

And then I felt funny. I felt everything indeed has double standards.
About what the norms says, what we believe in, what we feel, what we think, nothing is really fixed anyways.

And then I felt the world is slowing down. Suddenly I have much time to do many things. To pray longer, to take care what I have left behind, to say hi to an old friends, to be eager to wait for my kids to do my instructions (if you don't want to call them 'orders' ha ha!).

And then I felt lucky for my life. I felt so blessed surrounded by people who loves me and their persistence to stick around.

Alhamdulillah.

Everyone is facing a battle we don't know.

Pagi hari waktu mau berangkat kerja, sebenarnya badan udah ngilu-ngilu enggak enak dari malamnya. Tapi, teman-teman bilang itu cuma sindrom kerja. It happens all the time. Khususnya, setiap habis liburan. Padahal, di kerjaan ini aku cuma dikontrak 10 hari. Masa iya masih harus punya sindrom juga, padahal udah libur 2 tahun?

Briefing pun berjalan lancar. Alhamdulillah koneksi internet hari ini bersahabat. Telecon dengan 5 negara enggak menemui gangguan apapun selain gangguan konsentrasi; karena team leader di ujung sana mukanya mirip banget sama matt damon. Sigh, ... aren't i too old for this hahaha.

Asik-asik kerja, badan tiba-tiba menggigil. Kirain cuma masalah ac aja. Dengan malu hati, dikeluarinlah wind breaker yang biasa dipake naik ojek jadi penghangat tubuh di ruangan itu. Tentunya, ... enggak stylish banget. Warna turquoise gonjreng juga bikin orang nengok dan bertanya "kedinginan???" ... "Bingiiiiiiits" jawab aku.

Jam 4 sore, udah bener-bener enggak tahan lagi. Segera manggil kamen rider kesayangan alias bang iwan ojek yang untungnya, segera datang. Karena enggak tahan dengan dinginnya kantor, akhirnya aku memilih untuk nunggu di halte pinggir jalan aja. Yap, masih dengan pakaian lengkap dong. Udahlah pakai kaos tangan panjang, long vest, plus wind breaker.

Bang Iwan pun ngebut, demi mencapai apotik terdekat dari rumah untuk beli obat. Di kepala yang udah berat banget ini plus ditambah beban helm, udah jelas mau beli apa. Obat dewa aku cuma cefixime dan pantozol.

Begitu sampai apotik, tanpa lepas helm aku langsung lari ke kasir penerimaan resep. Tapi di sana ada bapak tua yang lagi galau memilih obat. Demi rasa hormat karena dia udah datang duluan, aku tunggu dengan sabar. Bapak itu banyak tanya-tanya, salah satunya bertanya tentang obat platogrik. Aku terhenyak. Oh, itu kan obatnya mamah. Dari situ aku langsung menguping.

Rupanya, platogrik terlalu mahal buatnya. Mungkin, harus dikonsumsi jangka panjang jadi harus dipikirkan konsistensinya. Kemudian si bapak bertanya tentang isi, miligram, merk lain, alternatif ini dan itu. Menelfon, konfirmasi ini dan itu, ada kali setengah jam. Sementara kepala udah beraaat banget. Tapi bapak itu mengingatkan sama orang tuaku juga. Mungkin, eh ... pastinya, ini yang terjadi juga sama mereka. Sakit di masa tua, sedih banget rasanya. Harus mengkonsumsi obat jangka panjang yang sudah enggak lagi ditanggung kantor. Enggak terasa tiba-tiba malah jadi nangis. Rasa amarah dan ketidaksabaran tiba-tiba hilang aja gitu.

I was totally sick. I had a fever for 39,6. I felt bad. But I thank god, I did not make myself even worse by getting angry for the old man. Indeed, everyone is facing a battle we don't know.

Just be nice.
Hope I can always be a nice person. A nice daughter.

Anak perempuan antar ayah ke dokter. Rapinya si ayah.

Anak perempuan antar ibu ke dokter. Pakai kaos kaki warna warni. 

Quote

2016 has just begun, I picked up a quote which I believe gonna be my best quote for 2016.

My friend wrote this for his wife on facebook. 

"Do you have band aid? 

My knees scraped falling for you." 

2015.

I had a cheeky life in 2015, and I thank God for that.
Not really peachy, but even if there was hassles; I think I have forgotten all the problems that occurred and managed to get by anyway.

However, the cheeky life can be highlighted in some points:

2015 was the year of finding jewels in high school. 
I met my extracurricular friends and did a reunion. It was funny to have the love story among us finally revealed. great. The reunion went warm and sweet and full of laughter as we came with our kids and acted out like we were still in high school.

Life also happened to let me find my besties, also from high school, back in to a whatsapp group. It happened to be a support system for us. One is a lawyer, one is a fashion designer and a beauty editor, one is an ex banker and is now having her own cakery, one is an odapus volunteer and, ... me. It was great to have so many different point of views when discuss one particular problem. And I realised it once again, that every one is facing a battle we do not know. That my life is much much much luckier than anybody else.

Alhamdulillah.

2015 was the year of holiday. 
Our family had three holidays this year and we managed to take Nini and Aki to two of the journeys. Not a luxurious holiday; but they were enough. Enough to make us happy and recharged.

2015 was the year of trying things I never had before. 
Never came up my mind to watch korean dramas or watch the Twilight saga. I felt ridiculous, but it was not bad afterall. Still downloading more dramas up to this day hahaha.

2015 was the year grieving.
When Luna was about two years old, she starts having undefined fever like... almost every month. Despite of all the good things happened, half of 2015 was spent for being worry as well. We went for doctor hopping and hopefully, gladly, we have found the best one for now.

Malicca lost his eyang too. It was one of the saddest moment in his life that I realized he is such an introvert and sensitive kid.

All in all, 2015 was so humble and content. I think it is good for me to keep the three points for 2016. And to add with: be more productive.

Happy new year, everyone!

Trust.

Never I thought a trust that should be applied to children going to be this big. Not only trust in what they tell us, but more of how we can trust them on things they do not know as well. To believe in the options they make in life. To believe how their body heals and how their emotion to cope things. To believe they will survive with their potentials.

For example, when luna got sick. Many times, I did not believe in her body. To me, lab result is the ultimate thing I can count on. Simply because it is visible and accountable. I ignored how she managed to stay cheerful during high fever; that indicated she was actually doing fine and I did not need to worry much.

And I have learnt that trusting our children is damn hard. Specially in their early years before they reach teenage years. Because somehow, a mother just have that kind of hunch about their kids. The good hunch, and the bad one.

What makes it hard for me to trust them is; when I realize that they might not grow to be someone we imagine, and I get worry. Or when they have preferences that we do not related with, and I will feel uncomfortable. And when they grow bigger and taller and we need to trust the life options they make.

Each day after I think of this trust issue, I spent more and more time to ask myself how deep I have the trust for Titan and La Luna. It got me thinking, though. I still have a loooong way to prepare them to become someone who I can trust their life.

Kangen

Titan flu.
Karena takut tetiba sesak, jadi bobo sama Titan di atas.
Lalu aku pun flu.
Dan aku bermain dengan Luna.
Dan Luna pun flu.
Demi menjaga virus berada pada tempatnya, kami bertiga tidur di atas meninggalkan bubu yang bobo sendirian di bawah. Berhari-hari lamanya.

Bubu kangen Luna. Udah enggak bobo bareng lama banget rasanya.
Pulang kantor bubu cium-cium Luna.
Becanda, ketawa-ketawa.
Enggak lama, Bubu pun bersin-bersin.
Bubu pasang masker.
Bubu flu.

Kita udah mau sembuh dan Bubu flu.
Mencoba sebisa mungkin supaya virus tidak berputar kembali ke siklus awal.
Kita bobo di atas, bubu bobo di bawah.

Halah!
Sembuh ah semuaaa ... sehat sehat sehat!

The hardest part

Ngerasain sakitnya kontraksi 26 jam, checked.
Ngerasain dikhianatin, checked.
Ngerasain ditinggalin, checked.
Ngerasain dibohongin anak sendiri, trust me it hurtssss! (walaupun cuma soal kecil), checked.

Satu momen yang paling susah buat saya, dan mungkin juga para ibu lainnya, adalah memberitakan sebuah kematian pada anak. Apalagi kalau yang meninggal itu tak lain adalah keluarga dekat.

Eyangnya Titan memang sudah agak lama dirawat di rumah sakit. Kita sempat menjenguk beberapa kali. Salah satunya hari kamis itu. Sebuah telfon memberitakan keadaan kritis eyang. Air mata langsung menetes sambil bergumam "Yah, bapak...."

Ternyata, aku kalau lagi panik begitu benar-benar enggak bisa mikir. Totally blank. Segera menelfon taksi dan ke sekolah untuk jemput Titan. Sampai di ruang administrasi pun mata masih basah dan mulut masih terbata-bata memberitakan "Mau jemput Malicca, 2/3 B, family issue. Eyangnya koma."
Petugas administrasi pun langsung berubah air mukanya. Langsung ditelfon sang wali kelas dan saya pun berhambur ke lantai dua untuk segera menjemput. Sampai di ruang kelas, ternyata titan masih sholat.

Di taksi, Titan masih ngoceh panjang kali tinggi kali lebar. Sementara mata udah sembab banget, mau ngomong juga susah. Akhirnya, saya ngomong juga.

Titan, you know that eyang is sick right?
Well, today we are going to see him because his condition got worse. We don't know whether he will survive or not. But we have to be there to see him. To pray for him and to give him a great spirit to live and we need to be ready for the worst. 

Iya, ngomong serius itu emang lebih enak pakai bahasa inggris ya.
Lebih  singkat dan rasanya enggak sakit-sakit amat.

Titan cuma diam. Alih alih dia malah bertanya, kenapa orang menciptakan rokok. Kenapa orang harus merokok. Dan saya malah menjelaskan bagaiman sejarahnya ditemukan teh oleh kaisar Cina. Mungkin, mungkin ya, itu cara kami menutupi kesedihan.

Sesampainya di rumah sakit, Titan langsung sibuk bermain dengan ayahnya. Somehow, tanpa harus dikatakan, mereka  sedang berbagi sedih. Saling berada bersisian tampaknya sudah menjadi semangat besar buat keduanya.

Dua hari kemudian. Berita itu datang.

"Maafin bapak ya. He is in a better place now."

Tidak seperti dua hari yang lalu, kali ini aku enggak bisa nangis. Sibuk memikirkan bagaimana caranya ngasih tau Titan. Kebetulan Titan lagi ngaji, jadi aku punya waktu agak banyak untuk berpikir. Rencananya kami memang mau ke Rumah Sakit lagi sore ini untuk jenguk eyang. Tapi ternyata kami malah harus ke rumah duka.

Setelah ngaji, Titan bersiap-siap untuk mandi. Dia tahu, dia mau pergi ke rumah sakit dan kelihatan enggak sabar. Akhirnya, saya hampiri dia. Mungkin ini saat yang tepat. Buat saya, berada di bawah pancuran yang hangat bisa mengangkat luka dan pedih di hati walaupun sedikit. Jadi saya pikir, mungkin hal ini juga bisa berlaku buat titan. Sambil melucuti bajunya, saya peluk dia kuat-kuat.

"Titan, kita perginya enggak jadi ke rumah sakit tapi ke rumah eyang di depok. Karena eyang sudah  pulang ke rumah. Eyang udah enggak ada, Tan. Eyang sudah meninggal. Titan sabar ya."

Titan cuma mengangguk.

Saya lalu keluar kamar mandi membiarkan dia sendiri.
Kok aneh, responnya cuma gitu aja. Pikir saya.

Lalu kita pun berangkat ke rumah duka. Sampai sana saya ajak titan berdoa. Neni (neneknya) mengajak titan untuk melihat wajah eyang untuk terakhir kalinya. Untuk sesaat, tenggorokan saya tercekat.  Tiba-tiba semua gambar berlari mundur di kepala saya. Untung sahabat kami, Tata dan Patria datang dan saya pun teralih.

Sampai rumah, saya menemani Titan tidur. Hanya kami berdua di kamar. Lalu saya bertanya.
"Kenapa Titan enggak menangis? It's okay to cry. I am sad too."

Seketika itu tangis saya meledak. Juga dia. Kami menangis bersama, berpelukan.
Ada rasa sesal, rasa sedih, dan berjuta ingin yang menyembur dari hati.
Kepala Titan ajrut-ajrutan di dada saya yang memeluknya dengan erat.
Enggak banyak ngomong, kamu berdua cuma menangis.
Setelah itu, titan tampak lebih tenang. Lalu ia tertidur.
Saya buka halaman-halaman buku sketchnya. Terpampang gambar eyang, beserta tanggalnya. Sepertinya, digambar sore tadi selepas mandi.

Detik itu saya menyadari, bahwa titan anak yang introvert.
Jauh dari bayangan saya selama ini, bahwa dia adalah anak yang terbuka dan easy going.

*Peluk Titan*

Bulan november kali ini terlalu basah

The terrible two

La Luna is two years and four months now. Day by day, I am starting to realize how drama queen she has become. Sometimes I got easily ticked off. Sometimes, I pretend being a deaf when she tantrums. Here are some lists.

"The world revolves around me"
This is the first drama of all. When she talks, she will not allow you look at other spot. She would just pull off your jaw so you can see her in the eye. And watch she talks, sings or do something.

"If I am upset, I will make sure your life is miserable too."
She cried and cried and will not let you do your things. She will try harder to make you upset too. Like screaming while stepping on your toe, or throw your things to the trash bin, everything but a peaceful you.

"Everything needs to be done, my way. "
If you get wrong doing it, she would ask you to do it again.
Or, a tantrum.

"If I don't get what I want, so does everyone else. "
She is not getting an ice cream because she is having fever. Then she would grab anyone's ice cream and throw them away.

I wonder whether these things happen to La Luna only, or it is so typical of raising a daughter. Sadly and luckily, these also happen to most moms with daughters. I asked a friend when I will get through this phase. She laughed. Hard. Apparently the drama will always come up. In another form as our daughter grows.

Good God!

"Guys, how can you fall in love with us?"

"Jadi orang tua itu, harus mau repot lho!"

-Dr. Waldi, Spa-

His Facebook status today. Of course, with a story behind it. 

The story of a parent who gave their son homeopathy sedative, because they think their son is hyperactive. Dr. Waldi thinks that the child have so much energy and his parents need to channel it instead of giving him sedatives. 

Jleb moment for me. 

I am too lazy to take Luna for a walk, everyday. 

I am too lazy to take her bounce a ball or ride a tricycle, every afternoon.

I prefer her to squeeze playdough and paint, everyday.

And so I can watch her under aircon, and so I could peep my mobile, and so I could play the music on, and so I don't need to make nonsense conversations with the neighbour. 

Oh, two years and I haven't been a better parent.

Maaf ya Titan, La Luna, bunda janji akan jadi lebih baik.
Dan lebih sabar.
Bear with me. 

The life itself is a magnet, son.

You may not remember this day. May I may too, that is why I choose to write it down for you.
Today, we had a chat on a very early breakfast. 6 am to be exact. So early because you are going for a field trip for your multicultural event.

I told you a story about our neighbour, and elderly grumpy grandpa. I saw him busy trying to hurt a cat with a bamboo. The bamboo got stuck on the bush, instead, he got distracted and tried to get his bamboo back. The cat ran away. As fast as he can.

You laughed hard and you said this.
"You ever told me that when you start your day with whirlwind, you will be upset for the rest of the day. Is it what is going to happen with that grandpa next door?"

"Maybe. I don't know. But yes, I believe that the life itself is magnet. This may not be scientific but I believe it is how our mind works. Your brain grows according to your mind. The nerves get connected one to another. When you think of good things, the good neurons will grow and connected with other good things neurons and they will effect your body then will effect your life."

He looked confused.

"Here is more example about the life itself is a magnet. When you do good to people, people will do good to you right?"

You nodded.

"When you are bad to people, they would do bad things to you too. Or, they do not want to play with you. Or they want to hit you back if you hit them."

"Oh yes, it happens." You responded.

"When you think you cannot do the math, you will not be able to do it."

"Oh, that is what happen to me all day hahahaha" you laughed bitterly.

"Try this. You ride your bike and think you will fall today. I think you will fall from your bike right away."

"Because I keep busy focussing on I might fall."

"Yes, that is right. I think you get the point. So from now on, just think of happy thoughts aja. That you can do things, that you are going places."

"Iya sih."

And he went off to school.

Goin' frugal?

Beberapa tahun terakhir ini frugal living lagi gencar lagi. Kalau di tahun delapan puluhan orang jadi kreatif soal musik dan gaya, sekarang ini orang jadi lebih kreatif dalam soal hasta karya dan kebutuhan rumah tangga. Mulai dari home decor, montessori at home dengan segala aktivitas sensorialnya untuk kebutuhan mem-PAUDkan anak di rumah, sampai ke soal jahit menjahit pakaian. Terima kasih sama website-website seperti Pinterest, Instructibles dan semacamnya.

Enggak bisa dipungkirin lagi, kalau hidup memang semakin sulit. Perekonomian lagi berat, bukan cuma di Indonesia aja. Industri oil and gas yang kayanya untouchable aja, sekarang lagi PHK besar-besaran. Lucunya, kalau cerita-cerita soal tips-tips DIY sama nyokap; dia suka ketawa karena tips-tips itu udah ada sejak dia kecil dulu. Jamannya baju bikin sendiri, persis kaya kaya sekarang. Bedanya, kalau sekarang orang mulai PeDe untuk menjual hasil karya mereka. Sekarang, orang mulai pintar berjualan. Terima kasih pada teknologi :)

Lantas, apa hidup kita jadi susah-susah amat gitu? Kayanya enggak juga sih. Paling enggak, tidak sesulit jaman ibu saya kecil dulu. Walaupun, prosentase persediaan liquid cash menjadi lebih sulit karena sekarang semua berbentuk barang. Dalam artian, harga sekarang ampun-ampunan naiknya.

Nah, trus gimana dong mensiasatinya? Karena bagaimanapun, makan-makan kecil di luar, jalan-jalan, itu terapi lho buat keluarga. Apa iya kita harus menghilangkan itu? Trus gantinya apa? Nah, karena belum menemukan gantinya; kalau saya memilih untuk menurunkan standar yang masih bisa tergantikan. Yaitu, belanja bulanan hahaha.

Trik pertama, mulai pake homebrand. Sebelumnya, enggak pernah yang namanya ngelirik homebrand. Ya kepikirannya sih karena cuma beda seribu dua ribu, dan persepsinya merk yang beriklan kan lebih bagus. Tapi ternyata setelah dipikiri-pikir, kayanya hasil akhirnya sama aja. Mungkin barangnya beda, tapi kebiasaan saya dalam menggunakannya sama.

Misalnya, tadinya beli detergen itu rinso molto. Tapi kemudian pakai pelicin pakaian juga saat disetrika. Ya udah deh, wanginya jadi wangi Trika. Jadi ya sudahlah ya, ngapain beli detergent multifungsi? Pakai aja detergent biasa, toh ditambah pengharum dan pelicin.

Misalnya, tadinya beli diaper Merries. Tapi toh setiap empat jam saya bangun untuk mengganti diapers walau pipisnya masih sedikit. Jadi, kenapa enggak ganti yang lebih murah aja? Toh, yang penting sering diganti bukan kemampuan menyerap lebih lama. Eh, tapi akhir-akhir ini Merries lagi sering promo. Nah, kalo promo sih nggak papa ya!

Soal makan di luar, ini juga pe-er nih. Keluarga besar saya seneng banget makan di all you can eat di casa suki. Tapi, buat saya, all you can eat itu lebih banyak mudharatnya daripada manfaatnya hahaha. Harganya mahal, makannya dikit. Alhamdulillah nemu restoran pengganti yang steam boatnya enggak harga paket. Dihitung per butir, per piring kecil, pas banget buat kita. Kalau di Casa Suki satu orang bisa habis dua ratus ribuan, di Tako Suki makan berenam habisnya empat ratusan. Kuahnya juga lebih enak, lebih dekat, enggak perlu reservasi. Oh, yeay!

So, am I living a frugal life?
Not really sih. Tapi ternyata triknya adalah, mengganti apa yang bisa diganti.
Bukan valuenya yang diganti.

Homebrand Superindo, ternyata banyak yang UKM. Go local go! 

Homemade playdough dari tepung, garam, air, minyak sayur dan food essence.

Peluk!

Pelukan itu menyenangkan ya.
Menghangatkan hati.

Setiap malam, sebelum bobo, saya selalu meminta Luna dan Titan untuk saling peluk.
Kalau mereka berantem, setelah minta maaf enggak lupa harus ada juga gesture peluk dan sun pipi.
Kaya bunda sama bubunya yang lagi marahan, trus peluk-peluk minta maaf di depan anak-anak.

Before bed ritual

Vitamin Sea

Bubu pengen ngabisin cuti.
Luna lagi seneng nonton Ponyo.
Titan, masih juga keranjingan sama perahu.
Jadi rasanya memang tepat kalau tema liburan kita kali ini adalah P A N T A I

Awalnya, kita berencana untuk ke Belitung. Tapi ternyata setelah tanya-tanya, fasilitas water sport di sana masih kurang mumpuni dan island hoppingnya pun lumayan agak jauh, kurang cocok buat Luna yang masih umur 2 tahun dan takutnya panik saat naik perahu.

Pilihan ke dua sempet tanya-tanya ke roemah pulomanuk  yang ternyata punya si director iklan Isaac Wee. Udah sempat imel-imelan, tapi setelah dipikir-pikir, situasi pantai selatan terlalu hardcore buat anak-anak karena berbatu dan berkarang. Ombaknya yang besar pun lebih cocok untuk para surfer ketimbang bocah-bocah yang kangen laut.

Akhirnya, kita memutuskan untuk pergi ke Pulau Umang. Jauh sih naik mobilnya, tapi Luna bisa survive waktu road trip ke jawa tengah. So, perjalanan 6 jam kayanya sih bakalan aman-aman aja. Naik perahu ke pulaunya pun enggak lama, cuma sekitar 10 menit. Jadi cukup amanlah ya buat Luna dan kayanya cukup mengakomodir keinginan semua pihak. Bisa main pasir, bisa berenang, bisa mancing, bisa naik perahu, bisa water sport.

Dua hari setelah Luna sembuh, kita berangkat. Jam enam pagi dari rumah. Sengaja berangkat pagi supaya anak-anak masih bobo jadi bisa melanjutkan tidur di mobil. Selalu lebih aman begitu daripada nungguin mereka bangun, sarapan trus berangkat. Kemungkinan cranky lebih kecil kalau mereka berangkat tidur malam udah siap dengan baju pergi dan paginya kita angkut sama bantal-bantalnya ke mobil hahaha! Bagian belakang mobil pun sudah disulap jadi empuk dengan tumpukan bed cover.

Bener aja. Anak-anak mulai bangun jam sepuluhan saat kita sudah menembus Pandeglang. Bangun dengan segar lalu asyik ngemil arem-arem dan bloeder bekalan sambil lihat-lihat pemandangan.

Sampai di daerah Sumur sekitar jam 11. Sempat menunggu sebentar sebelum akhirnya kita menyeberang dengan motor boat. Untungnya lagi si pulau umang ini ada parking lot nya dan dijagain 24 jam sama security. Yah, nggak perlu khawatir lah ya.

Pulau Umang memang langitnya enggak sebiru Belitung. Tapi kalau untuk bawa anak-anak, buat saya sih cukup. Anak-anak juga happy banget. Bisa main pasir, bisa berburu kerang cantik, bisa melihat ikan-ikan lucu dari dermaga yang cuma 50 meter dari pantai. Luna juga kesampean liat 'Ponyo' dalam bentuk ubur-ubur mungil. Kita juga sempat main ke Pulau Oar juga yang letaknya bersebelahan dengan pulau Umang.

Untuk resortnya sendiri, maintenancenya memang sudah kendor. Tapi masih terlihat sisa-sisa kejayaan mereka. Agak sayang sih. Tapi buat saya selama ac masih OK dan ada water heater, itu udah cukup.

Buat biaya, kemarin kita dapat harga paket. Untuk 2 orang dewasa 1 anak dan 1 balita; kita kena sekitar 3,2 juta rupiah. Sudah termasuk makan 6 kali dan penjemputan kapal. Untuk trip ke pulau Oar, kita dikenakan harga 50.000 per orang dewasa dan 30.000 untuk anak (batita enggak dihitung). Untuk snorkling, 75.000 per orang.

Yang menyenangkan lagi adalah, stafnya ramah-ramah banget! Di hari keberangkatan kita rajin banget di SMS untuk update posisi, didoain semoga lancar dan juga diingetin untuk makan siang plus dikasih tau spot makan siang yang OK di perjalanan. Sampai di sana pun mereka memantau terus kegiatan kita dan setiap waktu makan kita pasti di SMS kalau makanannya sudah siap. Personal banget, ya. Dan kemarin itu kita beruntung banget memutuskan untuk pergi saat weekdays, karena begitu kita check out datanglah rombongan perusahaan sebanyak 150 orang ha ha ha!

Well, happy happy happy ... kapan-kapan mau kok balik lagi.

Settingannya cocok untuk honeymooners ya hahaha 

Rumahnya sebenarnya terlalu besar untuk kita ber-4 yang senengnya bobo usel-uselan 

Pulau Oar, the snorkeling spot

Sulit dikatakan Luna ngantuk atau khawatir

Kakak Titan's thingy. 

Belajar survival, bagaimana membuat api. 

Bikin kandang umang-umang. Pantes namanya pulau umang, banyak umang dimana-mana. 

Ada botol whiskey nyamperin, kita isilah dengan doa.  

Pulangnya mampir ke Mercu Suar di Carita

All in all, it was happiness for all. Setelah dipikir-pikir, kayanya ini trip liburan pertama yang isinya cuma kita berempat aja. Karena biasanya kalau jalan-jalan kita selalu ajakin aki-nini atau uwak dan ponakan-ponakan.

Ternyata, perlu juga sering-sering pergi liburan berempat aja.

Halo, Oktober!

Oktober baru dua belas hari berlalu.
Tapi, hati dan kepala rasanya berisi banget.
Alhamdulillah.


Yet I complained still. 

Beberapa minggu lalu kembali 'bertemu' dengan teman lama waktu kos jaman kuliah dulu. Anak psikologi '96. Dia menikahi cowok yang dulu dia pacarin yang sekarang lagi sekolah di luar negeri. Sambil nemenin suaminya bikin desertasi, temen saya itu nyambi kerja jadi social worker. Tugasnya, menjadi konselor para pencari suaka.

Awalnya saya enggak peduli sama sekali soal para pencari suaka menyuaka ini. Kadang malah jadi suka becandaan betapa ingin saya mendaftar mencari suaka ke luar negeri. Anything out of Indonesia. Tapi setelah mendengar ceritanya, jadi kasihan sekali rasanya. Terhadap si pencari dan juga terhadap teman saya; yang harus mendengarkan kisah-kisah sedih setiap hari. Dia bilang, pulang dari kantor rasanya sudah kering sekali. Emotionally drained.

Yeah, I feel you. Saya cuma bisa bilang begitu.

Para pencari suaka itu menjual harta di tanah airnya, uangnya dipakai untuk migrasi. Biasanya nemplok dulu ke negara tetangga terdekat dan mendapat label 'refugee'. Salah satu dari mereka, berlayar ke negara tujuan dengan harapan bisa bekerja, mendapatkan status permanent resident baru kemudian membawa serta keluarganya. Tapi semua itu memakan waktu yang tidak sebentar, bisa sepuluh tahunan bahkan lebih. Terbayang keluarganya di negara transit dengan label refugee yang ternyata kelaparan, tidak sekolah dan seringkali menjadi korban penculikan (human traffic-ing) dan perkosaan.

Setiap hari teman saya itu bercerita lewat whatsapp, betapa hampir semua pencari suaka itu senang bisa mampir selamat di Indonesia (sebelum melanjutkan lagi perjalanan ke Australia). Karena semua orang Indonesia yang dia temui baik-baik. Beda sekali dengan status teman-teman saya di FB (atau status saya juga) yang seringnya menjelek-jelekkan bangsa sendiri atau memprotes pemerintahan.

Tuhan begitu baik, mempertemukan saya kembali dengan Clara. Nama teman saya.
Hari-hari

Parent instinct, a detour. 

Empat hari sebelum berangkat liburan, tiba-tiba La Luna panas lagi. Seperti biasa, 40 derajat. Ibuprofen anal sudah sempat masuk 1 butir sebelum besoknya kita bawa ke dokter.

Kali ini dokter baru. Udah lama sih dengar nama dokter ini, dokter Waldi. Tapi baru sekarang benar-benar berkeinginan untuk pay a visit karena penasaran kenapa Luna jadi sering sakit tapi dokter keluarga kita masih anteng-anteng aja.

Masalahnya sih ternyata simpel, cuma kena virus common cold aja (walaupun enggak ada gejala batuk-pilek-diare-muntah) dan itu pasti tertular dari orang lain. Ndelalah dokter waldi ternyata kenal dengan dokternya Luna (dan Titan). Menurut dia, mungkin karena dokter itu terlalu lama di perina rscm dan bergaul bersama bayi. Buat bayi, panas 40 derajat memang sangat membahayakan, tapi tidak untuk anak-anak. Jadi selama ini treatment yang kita lakukan adalah, menunggu panas hingga 3 hari dan selalu berujung cek lab. Bahkan saya seringkali memaksa cek lab di hari 1 karena cek NS-1 (untuk mendeteksi DBD) paling efektif dilakukan di hari-1 dan ke-3. Saat lab berkata leukosit tinggi, masuklah antibiotik. Selalu begitu selama beberapa bulan terakhir.

Dokter waldi geleng-geleng kepala aja melihat riwayat antibiotik Luna yang sudah pindah tiga tingkatan dalam 5 bulan terakhir. Kita lalu disuruh pulang dan meneruskan parasetamol bila perlu (saat Luna mencapai panas 39). Kali ini kita dipaksa untuk tidak melakukan cek darah dan lebih mempercayai insting orang tua. Jika panas mencapai 40 atau lebih, disarankan untuk berendam air hangat. Sesering mungkin pun boleh. Pulang dengan perasaan lebih lega, cuma lebih repot aja siapin air hangat. Rendam. Siram-siram. Handukin, bajuin. 10 menit kemudian rendam kembali, siram-siram lagi. Handukin, bajuin. Gitu terus, tengah malam sekalipun. Oh iya, sanmolnya diganti tempra. Amazing, bekerja lebih cepat. Hahahaha, ya wajar sih. Dalam per 5ml sanmol hanya terkandung 120mg parasetamol. Tapi dalam 5ml Tempra terkandung 160g parasetamol. No more ibuprofen karena sangat berbahaya kalau panasnya ternyata karena DBD.

Dua hari kemudian, Luna sembuh. Total panas demam 4 hari. Liburan sempat digeser sedikit dan setelah Luna sembuh pun kita berangkat. Alhamdulillah, enggak ada keluhan apa-apa.
Beberapa kemudian, saya berteman dengan dokter waldi di facebook. Sebelum diapproved, dia tanya dulu apakah pernah kita bersua.

"Pernah dong dok, dokter yang ngajarin Luna rendeman kalau panas." saya bilang.
And I made another friend on Facebook.

:)