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The first time I celebrated my birthday was when I was nine years old. It took me quite sometime to convince my mother how I wanted to have a birthday bash. She felt reluctant in the first place. But for the sake of ‘please mom, I had never held a birthday party before and I want to celebrate like other kids did’, she granted my will but with term and conditions: only close friends, no clowns or any other party stars and a homemade birthday cake which was made of a box of Pondan.

The party went well. We ended up playing pretend: a drum band, and my brother was the drummer with his DIY drum made of Styrofoam from the tv box we just bought a few days back. The birthday girl, of course, became the majorette. No goodie bags as well, that was the awkward moment when my friends queued as they were ready to get home.

Funny, I remember my friends asking me few sensitive questions, like “did your mom make the cake?” with a face of why-does-it-taste-bad’s face. Or,

“Errr… where’s my goodie bag?” with a face of hey-i-already-gave-you-a-present-how-come-there-is-no-goodie-bag’s face.

Luckily, I did not even remember any of the presents they gave me. So yes, I don’t need to feel pity right now because they did not give me a present that stole my heart as well.

That was one.

The other birthday I still remember was when I was much younger, maybe four or five, I do not really remember. Dad took my mom and me to Hotel Indonesia to have dinner. I remember there weren’t much food that I ate; well I was such a picky eater. But I remember that was the first time I had a caramel custard and I got addicted of caramel and caramel custard ever since. Thank god mom was such a great chef  (and still she is). She easily adopted almost every food including the caramel custard, so we did not need to go to Hotel Indonesia again just to enjoy the heavenly dessert.

The second time I held a birthday bash was when I was fourteen. That was such a cool school party, well… simply because I got my crush around * blushing *

Now it has been 20 years from the last party, and I am having my birthday now. For the past four years, every April 14^th, there are my favorite flowers  in the corner of the house: white roses, lily and sedap malam. My hubby worked on it, this year he added extra effort by making a banana cake with lemon butter icing and I must say, it was good.

This year, I also got my first present from my son. Two notebooks he bought with his own money he got for babysitting his little sister when he had term 3 and term 4’s holidays before.

Never about fancy foods, but mom always made me her signature nasi uduk on my birthdays. This year, added with a pair of scarfs she and my dad hand-picked a day before.  

So yeah, my birthdays were never about silver and gold. It was always about having people I love around, and I am so grateful. Of course, many times I want glitter stuffs; but then I forgot what I really wanted.

So … thirty four, huh? Maybe I should invest some anti aging stuffs hahaha.

But nevertheless, I am hoping for healthy me, healthy kids and the whole family. Healthy body, mind and soul … that sounds more expensive and a hard-to-get presie lately. I also wish the world would turn a bit slower, I kinda overwhelmed with how fast the children grows.

Amien.