beingwullie

Malicca loves pizza so very much and wants to have pizza for his breakfast today. Unfortunately, we don't have any pizza dough left today. Me being me, too lazy to make pizza dough and I was 100% sure I would not be able to do it, I used bread instead.

Thank god there was Jamie Oliver tomato pesto and sausage left in the fridge.

"Yummy, Bunda!" he said.

B(ex)t Friend

To some, the words 'best friend' could mean nothing.

To me, however, best friend means a lot.

I might not be the perfect person to tell things about friendship, for I may not be a perfect friend or best friend for my friends. I sometimes lie, I sometimes weren't there for them when they need me, I sometimes tell them things they want to hear and not things they need to hear, I sometimes just want to be alone.

There are many kind of friends. There are childhood friends, devoted friends who always willing to lend their ears for you to trash or come to visit you in the middle of stormy night, travel buddies, party friends who can make you laugh and sing all night, gossip friends where you can get your latest updates, social media friends who we rarely meet but knows a lot about us based on their assumptions, office friends with whom you have lunch, parenting friends with whom we can squeeze their tips and tricks in parenting, and of course the hi-bye friends.

We all have those categories. Don't we? And both are usually know where to stand.

Expectation that doesn't meet up is sucks. So is having a friend who want to be your friend only when she / he wants to.

At first you were friends. Then become good friend that leads to best friend. Wished you both can be best friends forever and promised you to come to your wedding and blah blah blah... and on one perfect day, she / he leaves you in despair without reasons.
But (still) trying to be a best friend, we usually say "Oh, what is wrong? You know where to find me when you need me, okay?"
We all know that 'Nothing is wrong' or 'I want to be alone' is the biggest lie in the world, and staying honest is always a tough option. That would include telling your friend why you want to cut off the friendship.
But hey my friend, once you lied, please also keep the lie that we ever have that friendship. So you don't have to come back and ask it back.

Oh, there is usually a reason: "I want to be alone." This, my friend, in bitch's glossary means "Back off! I mean... now!"

A night swimming, you and I

Mom, woman and wife

What else that is missing in your life? Someone once asked a woman while seeing her sad look.

“What else I have not done?” She asked him back.

A simple milk spill on the table can be a big reason for mom to get mad.

A stupid question from a little mouth like “why?” can be a massive trigger for mommy to start a world war with the weakest creature on earth who will not fight mommy back: kids, and they have become the victim.

Maybe the question is not on what has been missing, but on a thing that is always wanted and wished to always exist.

Moms have that biological clock to wake up and get everyone ready for their activities. Moms have (and always need to have) those new ideas to keep everyone’s mood in moderate level. Moms have those sudden driving skills when the clock is ticking for school bell and morning meetings with clients. Moms have that extra storage in her brain to remember schedules, tests, homework, what’s running out in the kitchen, bills. Moms also have that big heart to keep dreaming though she was hurt for several times; yet she keeps dreaming and the dreams are not for her.

Moms are also wifeys, who always want that intimate conversation. No, not that kind of chats we already know the answers.

We, moms, are women and we know we are strong.

But how stronger do you wish for us to be?

2012 and what doomsday to me

There might be three or five amongst us who dreamed about doomsday at least once in 2012. Me myself, have dreamed it twice as far as I remember. The dream itself always involves beautifully illuminated skies, huge planets that bang before my eyes.

To some people, they already given in with the doomsday.
Not because they are ready, but more to que sera sera point of view.
What ever will be, will be.

Apparently, what I had in my dream reflected the way I feel about the doomsday itself.
In my dream, I was always with my closest ones whose in real life they are the people why I live for.

To me, doomsday is neither about going to hell or heaven.
Not about how ready I am for the judgement day.
Doomsday means being separated with people I love that I do not know when I will see them again.
Doomsday means loosing my child and forgetting all my dreams for him. Missing all the chats and laughter we usually have.

No matter how ready you are for the doomsday, nothing will make you ready to be separated with your children. And I wish doomsday will not be happening soon.

I think all mothers will agree with me.

Doomsday

How we spend most of our weekends.

Fruit Pie

A few days ago, I made fruit pie for Bubu.
Like always, it is my first encounter on crust.
It tasted good, I think.
The key is in the butter.

I took the crust recipe here & the pastry cream recipe here

It's how the world goes, I guess.

She has almost everything every women in this world wish to have.
A Louis Vuitton to pack all her gadgets.
A pair of Louboutin or Melissa to pick up her kids to school.
A beautiful baby and a handsome hubby who already in the top in his young age.
And one thing everyone would envy: the time.

Yet she still sad, I wonder why.
Yet she still curse, I wonder how.

Other girls wish for what she has while she wishes for what people have.

If we all have that one noble thing: enough.
Wouldn't the world be a wonderful place to be.

But that's how the world goes, I guess.
Mere mortals never feel enough.

About heaven, to my son.

Dear My lovely son Malicca.

You have been growing so fast! Now you are five and your questions in every single day are getting sharper and sharper. For the past days, you have been asking about heaven.

"Do heaven exist, Bunda?"

Our religion taught us about heaven and hell as a compensation for good and bad people. But if you ask me, to be honest, ... I do not know how to answer because I have never been to heaven and I have never seen it.

Yes I heard about it. A lot. But people who might have gone to heaven never came back to earth and tell us what the heaven looks and how it feels like. So, ... I never buy what people say about heaven.

But why bother to think of heaven in absurd way? Like what people tell you that in heaven you can have anything you want within a split second? Like what people tell you there is milky river and golden cups. Why don't you create your own heaven? Here, on earth.

To me, your mother, to have you hugged me and said "I love you, Bunda" ... it is heaven.
To see you poked your friend just to tell them "Hey, this is my Bunda!" ... it is heaven.
To wake up in the morning and have you here beside me and smell your bad breath, ... it is heaven.
To have a cup of hot chocolate with some marshmallows, it is heaven.
To have the traffic treats me nice, it is heaven.

Heaven is not far. Whenever you feel happy, you are in heaven.

...

and by the time I am finished writing this, I got a conclusion that heaven does exist.

Where do good people go?

Titan: "Nda, orang baik itu nantinya masuk surga ya?"

Me: "I don't know. What do you think?"

Titan: "I guess so."

Me: "Yang jelas, orang baik itu banyak temennya and it is already a heaven on earth."

Me time.

It is been a while since I last have one.

With a nagging kid ready to tug you every single time and been shooting you with why this and that's questions, me time has become one of the most expensive thing I cannot afford.

But it's okay.

Nobody really want to be alone, right?

And with this little kid around, I love it as much.

There are many places I first encounter together with my satellite.

National Museum is one of them.

Me on my 33 and him on his 5.

Learn to do something about hope

Hari ini, Malicca Titan belajar untuk menuliskan harapannya di sekolah. "What did you hope for?" Aku tanya. "I write: I hope I can play toy car everyday." ... "Okay, that is a good one."

Melihat kesempatan itu, aku mencoba untuk mendorong lebih jauh lagi apa impiannya. Dan akhirnya, Malicca bilang "I want to go to Paradise Falls, like Kakek Up" - he means Mr. Frederickson, the main character in the movie UP. "Oh wow, it is a grrrrrreat hope!"

"Do you know you can make all your dreams come true?" I asked him. "No." Dia menjawab singkat.

"It is true. All you need to do is rrrrreally really want it, plan it, do something about it and pray. Do you rrrrreally want to go to Angel's Falls, or Paradise Falls like in the movie?" ... "Yes, Bunda. It is in Amerika Selatan just like Segitiga Bermuda."

"Okay, now let's do something about it!"

I had the idea popped out just like that, that was to steal a scene in the movie itself. I borrowed my mom's big, clear canister and let Malicca draw the Paradise Falls in his version. My version of hope is to go to Ghibli Museum to see Totoro. We pasted it in the canister and started to toss all the money we have (mine was all in the wallet) and his was all coins he got in the our car (-_-")

He smiled happily.

The day after, he puts all neglected coins and his lebaran angpao all into the jar.

Isn't it a wonderful thing, to have a dream and do something about it. I mean really really really do something about it.

Malicca draws his dream

My version of hope

His version of hope

His happy face after tossing all his money into the jar

Angel Falls, Venezuella

Backpacking with kids, why not?

Our first backpacking journey. Memang hanya ke Singapura sih. Tapi kenangannya, ... banyak banget!

Mulai dari nabungnya, dari pesan tiketnya, dari berangkatnya, di sananya, semua pengalaman berlibur bersama anak-anak ini bikin diri jadi makin kaya dengan pangalaman bathin. Apalagi ternyata cukup bisa dimuat di website Libur Keluarga, senangnyaaaaaaa :)

Semoga, ini bukan yang terakhir.Amin!

Finally

For a writer, nothing can beat the happy feeling of having their writing got published
*big big grin*

I had never thought after so many poetry, short stories and fables, it was my first travel journey that made the first debut for publishing. It took me about three days to write in details, to review it over and over again.

Just click the picture below if you want to know our story :)

My first time writing got published

'Plak!!!'

"Biasa pegang duit sendiri, sekarang harus nunggu uang dari suami. Aneh banget rasanya."

Bener bangeeeeet twitnya Lygwina the financial planner hari ini, yang kebetulan topik #FinancialClinic-nya hari ini adalah tentang berpindah dari yang tadinya pegawai trus jadi freelancer or small business owner. Ahak, ... gue bangeeeut! Maka sebelum scrolling down the whole #FinancialClinic twits of her, gue siap-siap Betadine dulu lah. Penting, itu. Karena tiap kali baca twitnya Lygwina emang jadinya makin berdarah-darah.

So, kabar kehidupan gue akhir-akhir ini memang drama galau dengan status 'pengangguran' yang gue emban saat ini. Tidak bisa tidak, ternyata itu kejadian juga sama gue bagaimanapun telah gue cegah. Awalnya gue memutuskan untuk berhenti bekerja adalah karena Titan dan semua kekhawatiran gue tentang minat belajarnya. Ditambah memang sudah mulai bosan menggeluti hal yang sama selama 12 tahun, tentunya. Ternyata, setelah dijalanin, I really hate to admit this phrase but this is so very true.

"Money is not everything, but everything needs money."

Dua hari di awal kehidupan freelance sangat menyenangkan, karena gue langsung terima kerjaan simple senilai belasan juta. Tapi kemudian gue mulai gigit jari karena belum nampak tanda-tanda kerjaan berikut sementara yang sudah dikerjakan pun, enggak kelihatan tanda-tanda bakal dibayarnya. *Mulai stress*

Sebelum terjun ke dunia ini, terus terang persiapan gue memang agak kurang baik. Dari sekian items yang seharusnya dimiliki (seperti kata Lygwina), gue hanya punya sedikit dari items-items tersebut. Gue cuma punya dana darurat untuk 6 bulan dan aset aktif asuransi yang kebetulan sudah selesai masa preminya; jadi tinggal memetik dana investasinya. Tidak maksimal, karena bentuknya unit link (bakalan digorok Lygwina ini, karena ibu itu sangat tidak menganjurkan unit link. Tapi gimana dong, gue kenal ini duluan ketimbang gue kenal elo Bu Lyg). Gue enggak punya asuransi kesehatan dan aset aktif yang mumpuni. Jadi untuk hidup sehari-hari, ya menunggu dikasih uang aja sama suami.

Dan itu rasanya aneh banget. Asli deh. Kalau aja suami enggak dibekali dengan kesabaran yang maha dahsyat untuk ngadepin gue, mungkin dia juga ikut jadi stres. Oh well, I guess he already is. Maaf yah sayang *cipoks*

Dulu punya uang sendiri dan rutin mendapatkannya setiap bulan, membolehkan gue untuk bisa menyusun rencana seenak jidat. Not about shoppings, but giving to people I love and of course ... nice meals. Sekarang tiba-tiba gue harus save and shrimp and cut down every pennies.

Sekali lagi Lygwina benarrr! Yang pertama harus disiapkan adalah mental. Being a freelancer, more over I am a first starter, gue harus tau diri sih. Dan harus bisa menurunkan standar (oh, ini yang susah!!!). Dan yang lebih susah adalah untuk tidak mengkasihani diri. Counternya, gue selalu berpikir "Dulu juga gaji gue cuma sekian dan fine-fine aja tuh." Tapi kan dulu Titan belum sekolah ya (teteup, defensive).

Yah, Bismillah. Semoga aja memang ini bagian dari rencana Tuhan untuk menuju yang lebih baik. Terima kasih Lygwina, atas twit-twitnya yang menyilet-nyilet harga diriku hari ini *usap Betadine*

Sementara hati ini galau, tangan ini tetap harus berbuat sesuatu di masing-masing hari. Sampai hari itu tiba, ... oh tidak, aku harus menjemputnya dong!

My first sewing project with mom's tutorial

Bake or break project.

My first cupcake project. It tastes good, I tell you. Want to order?

Satu langkah lagi

Di bulan Juli ini, Malicca officially pindah ke sekolah baru. Well, only God knows how much I want him to get in to this school and only God knows what my efforts were to get him in. Konon, kata orang pada akhirnya kita akan mendapatkan apa yang kita mau. Hanya saja, kita mendapatkannya di saat kita sudah enggak menginginkannya lagi. Well, I guess God is very very kind to me. I got what I want right on time.

Pemilihan sekolah ini berdasar pada dua hal, kesepahaman konsep dan letaknya yang sama sekali tidak jauh dari rumah. Cuma 12 menit, coba bayangkan. Luxurious sekali kan, dibanding anak-anak lain yang harus bangun pagi buta untuk berangkat sekolah supaya tidak terlambat. Again, I am such a lucky mom.

Aku udah datang ke acara Open House sekolah ini sejak Malicca umur 6 bulan, lho! Saat itu memang aku lagi rajin-rajinnya survey ke sekolah-sekolah. Maksudnya sih, supaya tahu harus menabung berapa banyak saat Malicca harus masuk sekolah nantinya. Cuma untuk manage expectation aja, sekaligus juga mengenal kembali sistem pendidikan yang sudah jauh berbeda dengan jaman aku sekolah dulu.

Sebelum akhirnya sekolah di High Scope ini, Malicca sekolah di sebuah TK di deket rumah juga. Sekolah tawon, dia nyebutnya. Karena memang lambang sekolahnya gambar tawon dan dinding sekolahnya itu mirip sarang tawon. Cuma anehnya, dia enggak suka sekolah di sini. Setiap hari pasti datang telat. Enggak kira-kira, telatnya bisa sampai 1 jam! Kenapa? Karena ngebujuk bangun tidurnya aja udah setengah jam sendiri. Belum lagi, karena malas dan tidak suka; semuanya dilama-lamain. Belum lagi kalo mandek di gerbang sekolah enggak mau masuk. Aduuuh, stres banget deh kalau ingat saat-saat itu. Tapi mau dipindahin juga tanggung. Saat itu memang aku belum tahu apakah aku nantinya bisa memasukkan dia di sekolah impian(ku) ini. Jadi, ... setiap hari harus sabar-sabar memberi pengertian dan aku juga pada akhirnya enggak terlalu memaksa Malicca untuk pergi ke sekolah. Alhasil, hampir setiap malam setelah pulang kerja bundanya ini harus mengajarkan ulang calistung. Thanks to phonic system dan Kumon yang mengeluarkan buku-buku panduan yang menurut saya sangat cerdas, akhirnya Malicca bisa mengikuti pelajaran di sekolah dan progressnya pada term ke dua di TK kecil sangat bagus. Dan akhirnya, dia naik ke TK besar.

Nah, di TK besar inilah Malicca mulai bersekolah di High Scope. Karena SD di sekolah ini dimulai dari TK besar. Setelah serangkaian trial dan ngobrol-ngobrol sama psikolognya (enggak ada test sama sekali), akhirnya Malicca bergabung dengan sekolah barunya. Aseli ya, deg-degan abis bundanya ini. Karena kalau ternyata dia enggak suka (lagi), aku sama sekali enggak punya back up plan mau disekolahin dimana. Sempet kepikiran home schooling sih, etapi kok ya ... walau aku senang mengajar, tapi kok ya ragu juga.

Akhirnya, tanggal 18 Juli kemarin Malicca officially mulai sekolah. Di hari pertama ini dia sempat tertidur selama kira-kira satu jam hahahaha.... Kaget kali yah, biasanya sekolahnya cuma sampai jam 11.30 sementara ini kan sampai jam 15.00. Ngapain aja anak TK sekolah sampai jam segituuuuu? Hahahaha... ternyata banyak sih kegiatannya. Tapi kalau ditanya "Hari ini belajar apa aja?" Jawabannya pasti satu: "Main, Nda. Enggak belajar." (Duh, serangan panik ke dua).

Lucunya, walaupun sekarang harus bangun lebih pagi dan pulang lebih sore, anaknya enjoy-enjoy aja sekolah. Kalau dulu, setiap malam dia selalu bertanya "Nda, besok sekolah ya?" "Iya dong." Jawabku. Lantas dia menghela nafas panjang sambil bergumam "Yaaaaah...."

Sekarang, dia masih bertanya sih. Tapi kalau aku jawab "Iya, besok sekolah." Jawabnya "Yeay! I like going to school!"

Ih, senang! Rasanya terbayar semua jerih payah pulang malam di tahun-tahun lalu dan stres-stres mencari sekolah terbaik untuk anak, saat kita tahu si anak menyukai belajar di sekolah. Kayanya, selesai satu PR besar dan berhasil membuat satu langkah untuk masa depannya.

Insya Allah.

Sekarang, selain Malicca juga menikmati sekolahnya; aku juga menikmati saat-saat mengamati Malicca di sekolah. Teman-temannya, cara bermainnya, problem solving skill-nya. All in all, we are all happy. Yeay!

as posted on Emaklicca.