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Life. Just like what I wanted.

Tiga belas bulan yang lalu, saya memutuskan untuk kembali bekerja setelah 2,5 tahun jadi freelance (tapi lebih banyak free-nya sih hahaha). Satu-satunya yang bikin saya merasa harus bekerja ya cuma Apple. Sisanya, banyak project yang saya tolak-tolakin karena males aja sih intinya. Belaguk bangetlah pokoknya.

Setelah merasa udah nggak produktif lagi di rumah, otak berasa tumpul dan rasa percaya diri udah nyungsep, saat itulah saya terima tawaran untuk kembali ke advertising. Banyak yang nyinyir sih, menganggap industri itu gelap banget dan ngapain udah enak-enak di rumah kok ya balik ngantor. Alasannya cuma satu: bosen di rumah.

Enggak tahu hal baik apa yang telah saya lakukan dalam hidup, ternyata saya dianugerahi tim yang baiiiiik banget. Anaknya manis-manis, good attitude dan yang paling penting; penuh tanggung jawab. Saya ngerasa banyak belajar dari mereka. Mulai hal baru di luaran sana sampai cara pakai krim mata. Enggak sedikit juga kesedihan yang kita tanggung bareng-bareng, da…

The link is back

I used to blog for Malicca. His unstoppable questions, wonders, opinions and everything. But then I stopped after Luna was born, because I felt unfair to have a blog under a name of emaklicca (only). 
But then, after those two been growing up together in different phase of life, I feel the urge to blog once again. This time is about them two. Because having two satellites, it is not them both who revolves around me. Instead, I revolve around them and they are my teachers of life. My mirrors of what I have done in life. My karma. 
They haven't know about this blog yet. Someday, I will reveal this all.
Feel free to clickmy satellitesfrom time to time 









titanica system

dulu, jaman-jaman baru kerja di advertising barang tiga tahunan, selalu muak sama insight yang satu ini: bahwa, orang tua akan memberikan yang terbaik bagi anak-anaknya.
yang ada di kepala pada saat itu tuh, ya: planner gak kreatif. klien yang cliche. basiiii, semua juga tauuuuuuu! nah, sekarang, setelah sekian belas tahun di advertising dan hampir satu dekade jadi ibu, mulai sadar sama arti preposisi itu dengan sejleb-jlebnya. dan hal itu udah bukan insight lagi. tapi fakta.

soal mengusahakan yang terbaik tuh lagi kejadian banget nih sama aku dan titan. cuma masalahnya, kalau anaknya yang ngadepin sebuah masalah; apa iya kita orang tuanya yang harus mengusahakan yang terbaik? kan enggak gitu ya.
setiap anak pasti punya masalah deh. jangan percaya sama postingan ibu-ibu yang isinya cuma ngepost hal-hal baik aja dari anaknya. jadi, kangan sedih kalau menjelang pre-teens gini masalah-masalah 'pelik' mulai bermunculan. kenapa pelik? karena, seringkali, target operasi kita enggak …

Three hours late.

2 AM and I stepped in to the house. Hubby was waiting for me. This was not the first time, and not the latest hour I had ever experienced with over time.

"See you soon Bunda. Or at 8, or at 9, or at 10, or at 11 like you said you would be late." Said my son.

I smiled as I entered the house. I smelled home. I saw my beautiful mess. As I picked up some toys on the floor, I imagined what games the kids had played today. There was a drawing, mini ceramics pots, not too chaotic for kids who were left with nini and aki without nannies.

I also saw their time tables, with some check marks on the list. Those that they weren't checked was the responsibility to wash their own dishes. I saw some dirty cups piling up. I saw the microwave's door left half-opened, a baking sheet and a knife. I wonder what they have cooked.
I also saw minecraft was in active window and some search on youtube and google.

Getting home in this hour and not seeing their faces but seeing all the mess the…

love is love. marriage is another thing.

of all the things I ever wondered, ... I think I never wonder whom my kids will be married to. or to picture myself holding grand babies. not just a not yet, I think it is simply too hard to bear and too absurd to think of. but then I promise myself. I promise I will not ever push titan and luna to get married or even if they are married; I will not ask them when to have kids.

many times I wondered that marriage is overrated. and the only reason to get married is not love, but to realise life is too hard to bear when you are all alone. because, however, marriage is a conditional love. hubby once said, marriage is not all fancy and glitter. the lowest it can get is, to keep functioning and it will survive. how both parties can be functional one to another, is another story.

to ariawan, a guy of mine,
the one who always wake me up from my princessy dreams. love you.



october.

october is still in the beginning. it was wet and i could smell the fresh smell of the grass, even if it was not raining. october  used to be my favorite month. it was autumn, it was dry and the cold breeze can easily breaks my nose membrane and i got nose bleed. the day i found you.

it has been years ago. now i feel october in new breeze. this time, october felt a bit rush.

earliest october was the day of a mega pitch. three pitch presentations in a day. it was like our blood and flesh were torn apart preparing the whole things. one of the pitches was also one of the backbone clients, that also brought the feeling of having the pitch felt like a burden. i could not imagine how many cut offs there would be if we lose.

the second day, was also one of the biggest day for my son and also for me. the day my one and only son got circumcised. at his 9 years of age, he decided to surrender himself to one of the deepest pain in life. his cry resembled the day he lost his eyang and also resemb…

dream.

perhatian, posting ini isinya tentang pamer ya.  supershowoff. totally.

now, what is a dream?

mimpi, bisa jadi bunga tidur yang sering kejadian sama kita. tapi mimpi yang dimaksud saya di mimpi ini adalah sesuatu yang kita inginkan banget. yang sepanjang hari, sepanjang tahun, terus dikejar sampe kejadian. bukan cuma sekedar wishlist.

dulu, salah seorang pacar saya pernah bilang. mimpi ya mimpi, nggak perlu dikejar. kalau udah dikejar, namanya tujuan. saya harus bisa membedakan itu.

ah, ya ... bener juga sih itu. tapi kan nggak papa juga bilangnya mimpi, karena kadang kalau disebut tujuan tapi set up nya jauh banget dan tinggi banget, kesannya jadi berat banget. kalau mimpi kan kayanya ada kesan 'magical'nya kalau bisa kejadian.

now, what is my dream?

setelah dipikir-pikir, saya itu sama banget sama bapak saya. atau, mungkin memang didikan bapak berhasil banget nancep di kepala saya. saya inget banget, waktu kita-kita anaknya masih kecil, bapak sering bilang gini "bapak ng…