Today, I was tagged to post five photos that shows how happy I am as a mother on Facebook. I saw this post yesterday when a friend was being tagged too. I felt nothing. I did not even take a closer look of the photos she posted. Never expected I would be tagged such a thing, but I was.
After finished answering the challenge, i asked myself whether I am really happy being a mother who stays at home at the moment. It took me sometimes to answer.
For the past months, I have been looking for a chance to get back to the office. Some chances come, but none of them I could be sure of. Then I realised, it was not them who I was not sure of. It was me. I only made too much excuses just to translate how I don't want to leave my life today. How those offers cannot compensate the happiness I am bearing at the moment.
Somehow, I know I am being selfish.
But hey, after what I have done ... can't I be one?
I love to be in the pajama all day. I woke up, made some breakfast, take my baby girl to shower, teaching her all the things I know in life, talking endless to my son, texted hubby to come early, I am still enjoying it somehow.
"I often come upstairs in the middle of the night just to see whether you were okay, son. I tugged you in the blanket, I slept beside you and whispered all the good words I know for you to be. Do you know that?"
"I know. Last night you talked about how healthy you wanted me to be, right?"
"O, yes. I thought you were sleeping."
"I was. But I could hear your voice."
"Oh, then it is easier to talk to you in your sleep. Because you usually did not listen even when your eyes wide out."
And my big boy hugged me. I know he was sorry, I know he loves me much, I know he loves me being at home. Seeing her brother hugged me, little Luna came along and kissed me. On the lips, like always.
And I am happy to see my children happy.
Then I know I am a happy mother.
I dedicate this post to my sister Yuniar, thank you for tagging me.
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