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Puasa dulu, pasti bantuin mamah bikin kue. Kebagian marut keju oles-oles kuning telur dan menghias bagian atas kue. Puasa sekarang, bayar orang untuk bikinin kue yang sama.

Puasa dulu, suka dimarain kalo nunggu-nunggu waktu buka di meja makan sambil ngeliatin makanan yang tertata di meja. Puasa sekarang, seringkali buka seadanya dan nggak terlalu napsu ngeliat makanan karena mumpung puasa sekalian pengen nurunin berat badan.

Puasa dulu, abis saur pasti maen badminton di luar sama temen-temen. Puasa sekarang, abis saur langsung bablas tidur karena justru biasanya baru bisa tidur setelah saur.

Puasa dulu, semangat milih baju lebaran sejak jauh-jauh hari. Puasa sekarang, liat-liat koleksi lama baju muslim trus disetrika pada saat malam takbiran buat dipake besok.

Puasa dulu, sibuk ngitung-ngitung bakalan dapet salam tempel berapa. Karena udah puasa sebulan, karena uang saku nggak kepake jajan, belom lagi dari om dan tante tersayang. Puasa sekarang sibuk ngitung zakat dan mau dikasih ke siapa aja. Kaget ngeliat besarnya karena ngeluarin sekaligus, tapi lupa sama betapa besarnya yang sudah didapat ... dan itu pasti JAUH lebih besar.

Puasa dulu, suka marah-marah kalau dibangunin sahur. Puasa sekarang; gampang banget dibangunin karena emang belum belum memasuki fase tidur lelap di jam segitu. Sekali ketuk, langsung bangun.

Puasa dulu, saat berbuka adalah saatnya menikmati tajil yang dibuat mamah sambil duduk bersama di meja makan dan saling cerita. Puasa sekarang, justru terbalik. Saat sahur adalah saat aku pasti duduk bareng keluarga dan cerita kemarin ngapain aja. Setelah makan, ditutup dengan tajil bikinan mamah di sore sebelumnya.

Banyak perubahan yang terjadi antara puasa aku dulu dengan puasa sekarang. Tapi ada satu hal yang tetap sama. Sama-sama belum mendalami hikmah Ramadhannya. Tapi Alhamdulillah, masih dikasih kesempatan untuk kumpul bersama. Masih, hingga saat ini.

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Life. Just like what I wanted.

Sounds so snobbish ya, saying life is just like what I wanted. But then I realized, semua itu karena emang aku enggak pengen apa-apa. Sekarang juga (ternyata) masih begitu. Dulu emang I treat my life like a blue print. Things to do piling up my list and my aims were to accomplish them. Alhamdulillah, semua tercapai. Tapi kemudian seperti ada titik tolak dalam hidup yang bikin  berhenti ingin terlalu banyak dari hidup. Entah karena merasa udah cukup banyak pencapaian pribadi baik yang bagus atau yang buruk, entah karena pernah kecewa berat sama yang namanya manusia atau karena alasan klise yang digadang-gadang semua manusia: anak.

Sekarang ini, lebih banyak menyambut apa yang datang ke dalam hidup. Termasuk, kembali ke agency lagi. Having thought that I am not some kind of 'Man in a mission' kind of person. I am just an 'I will do my best' of what comes in front of me kind of person.

Gini ceritanya.

Tiga belas bulan yang lalu, saya memutuskan untuk kembali bekerja setel…

love is love. marriage is another thing.

of all the things I ever wondered, ... I think I never wonder whom my kids will be married to. or to picture myself holding grand babies. not just a not yet, I think it is simply too hard to bear and too absurd to think of. but then I promise myself. I promise I will not ever push titan and luna to get married or even if they are married; I will not ask them when to have kids.

many times I wondered that marriage is overrated. and the only reason to get married is not love, but to realise life is too hard to bear when you are all alone. because, however, marriage is a conditional love. hubby once said, marriage is not all fancy and glitter. the lowest it can get is, to keep functioning and it will survive. how both parties can be functional one to another, is another story.

to ariawan, a guy of mine,
the one who always wake me up from my princessy dreams. love you.



Let's cut the crap from the question of Which Mom Are You?

A few years back, social media was being fussy about working mom versus stay at home home. What a nonsense brag! Since I went through both and also had a chance of being a working-from-home mom, it is even more ridiculous for me. Only stupid have a time discussing it and to elaborate on their social media status. Whoever we are, what kind of mom we are, what matters most is how we can make our life productive and progressing. Every single day.

Different mom has different ways of being productive. Some goes to work. Some clean up and cook for the family. Some works at home by selling stuffs online or being a freelancer. Productive means to produce something. Be it money, the foods, you name them all. But the question is, is productive enough? How about having a progressing life? Not as the wife of Mr. Blabla or as the mom of kid Zubidudamdam. But us, as a person. Me, as Wury; a 38 years old woman and how far I have made progress in  my life.

BUT. Let alone of being progressive, ... ar…