Baru juga kemarin nulis soal P4 and I really felt like a tiger mom. Tonight, I paid a visit to a neurologist because of the stingy painful feeling on the top of my head I have experienced the past days.
Not that hard, but it is very annoying. Like every five minutes you have that little hammer stabbing and electrocute you from the inside and it made you stops a while at everything you do just to say 'Ouch'.
And yes, the doctor said I am having the so called postpartum stress. Not in the form of baby blues but physically stress and this caused a tension on my neck and nerves around. No need further examination, the triggers are obvious. Lack of sleep, stress on trying to be a tiger mom for baby and a first grader. The boredom because I used to be a fully working mom. The stress on trying to put more weight on baby. O, thats pretty much ... much.
No meds since I am fully breastfeeding. Because every neurological medications are not good for babies. So, I need to reduce the trigger. Which is tiredness and stress when things happens not as I expected, when house are messy and the stress includes seeing the small cc of my expressed milk.
Hmmm... maybe the doctor is right. Maybe I don't need to be a tiger mom. Maybe I don't have to perform better compare to 6 years ago. Maybe I should not worry much about breast milk because they are produced on demand (and the baby needs only 30ml per serving for the time being), so I need to stop being greedy if I managed to pump up 60ml because it is good enough. Maybe loosing 10 kilos in 2 weeks is too soon and having another 6 kilos would not hurt me and I have the rest of my life to be back in shape.
Maybe I really really need to chill.
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