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Life. Just like what I wanted.

Tiga belas bulan yang lalu, saya memutuskan untuk kembali bekerja setelah 2,5 tahun jadi freelance (tapi lebih banyak free-nya sih hahaha). Satu-satunya yang bikin saya merasa harus bekerja ya cuma Apple. Sisanya, banyak project yang saya tolak-tolakin karena males aja sih intinya. Belaguk bangetlah pokoknya.

Setelah merasa udah nggak produktif lagi di rumah, otak berasa tumpul dan rasa percaya diri udah nyungsep, saat itulah saya terima tawaran untuk kembali ke advertising. Banyak yang nyinyir sih, menganggap industri itu gelap banget dan ngapain udah enak-enak di rumah kok ya balik ngantor. Alasannya cuma satu: bosen di rumah.

Enggak tahu hal baik apa yang telah saya lakukan dalam hidup, ternyata saya dianugerahi tim yang baiiiiik banget. Anaknya manis-manis, good attitude dan yang paling penting; penuh tanggung jawab. Saya ngerasa banyak belajar dari mereka. Mulai hal baru di luaran sana sampai cara pakai krim mata. Enggak sedikit juga kesedihan yang kita tanggung bareng-bareng, dan pernah juga air mata ini berderai karena enggak bisa menyelamatkan salah satu dari mereka untuk tetap bisa kerja bareng di Havas. Saat hari lagi down banget, semangkuk ramen dan tawa biasanya bisa melepas ke bete-an. Saya emang nggak pernah menempatkan diri sebagai bos yang harus bitchy dan memaksakan kehendak. Some said, saya terlalu baik sama anak-anak. Tapi dulu saya belajar, bahwa bos itu tugasnya bukan ngide tapi menajamkan ide yang ada. Karena dulu saya belajar, bahwa bos itu harus mau tangannya kotor; bukan cuma nyuruh-nyuruh doang. Karena dulu saya belajar, memimpin itu harus dengan empati.

Kemudian, saya risain. Tepat sehari sebelum ulang tahun saya yang ke tiga puluh delapan.
And for the past thirty days, nothing much I did but something new or redo the things I loved to do.

I celebrated my most romantic birthday, thanks to my son!

I started exercising pilates. Been attending 5 sessions so far. I also walk more.

I got the chance to join an empowering conference for women to boost my confidence as woman leader. I met so many empowering women out there from gen x, gen y and millennials. From the conference, I learnt that to be a successful woman leader, we need great support system as well: parents and spouse; those who shaped us and those who is standing at our back. And when we got stronger, we don't really need to show our strength at home *wink*

I met those whom I could not meet because those time consuming work hours: besties! 

Of course, spent some quality time with the kids. Picked them from school, went mall-ing, watch movies, tried the famous Pablo cheese tart and fulfill the long-awaited-craving of mille crepes.

I managed to finish all the overdue tasks from renewing my driving licence, get the social health card for my family and ... finish the business model for my start-up project. So o'yeay! 

Last but not the least, enjoying good coffee my husband made like ... every morning :) I know I would never get this privilege without his support and he has been showering me with sincerity and abundant love over me. Thank you, Bubu! Now within two days, I will have to start a new chapter in the new office. I was so nervous last week, but I have been a bit cooled down lately hahaha. Wish me luck!


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love is love. marriage is another thing.

of all the things I ever wondered, ... I think I never wonder whom my kids will be married to. or to picture myself holding grand babies. not just a not yet, I think it is simply too hard to bear and too absurd to think of. but then I promise myself. I promise I will not ever push titan and luna to get married or even if they are married; I will not ask them when to have kids.

many times I wondered that marriage is overrated. and the only reason to get married is not love, but to realise life is too hard to bear when you are all alone. because, however, marriage is a conditional love. hubby once said, marriage is not all fancy and glitter. the lowest it can get is, to keep functioning and it will survive. how both parties can be functional one to another, is another story.

to ariawan, a guy of mine,
the one who always wake me up from my princessy dreams. love you.

Three hours late.

2 AM and I stepped in to the house. Hubby was waiting for me. This was not the first time, and not the latest hour I had ever experienced with over time.

"See you soon Bunda. Or at 8, or at 9, or at 10, or at 11 like you said you would be late." Said my son.

I smiled as I entered the house. I smelled home. I saw my beautiful mess. As I picked up some toys on the floor, I imagined what games the kids had played today. There was a drawing, mini ceramics pots, not too chaotic for kids who were left with nini and aki without nannies.

I also saw their time tables, with some check marks on the list. Those that they weren't checked was the responsibility to wash their own dishes. I saw some dirty cups piling up. I saw the microwave's door left half-opened, a baking sheet and a knife. I wonder what they have cooked.
I also saw minecraft was in active window and some search on youtube and google.

Getting home in this hour and not seeing their faces but seeing all the mess the…