wullie wullie

Walaupun sebenernya Titan udah dapet snack pagi dan lunch di sekolah, sebagai program penyesuaian berat badan (baca: usaha biar berat badan naik) aku selalu bawain dia snack khusus untuk dimakan selama perjalanan pulang naik school bus. Dulu, snacknya suka dimintain sama anak-anak lain. Karena itu aku suka bawain agak banyak atau potongan yang lebih kecil untuk teman-temannya itu. Tapi sekarang, kalau denger ceritanya sih katanya udah jarang dimintain. Kalaupun iya, pasti jadi tukeran makanan.

Good boy! :)

Dulu-dulu, snack box Titan isinya cuma roti tawar isi berbagai selai atau telur atau siomay frozen yang tentunya sudah dihangatkan paginya. Beberapa waktu terakhir ini, agak lebih pengen usaha bisa bawain yang lucu-lucu. Walau kadang, enggak semuanya dimakan sih. Pernah aku bawain petite biskuit yang dibuat dari biskuit Ritz, cheese cubesnya The Laughing Cow plus raspberry on the top. Semuanya disusun seperti menara trus ditusuk pakai tusuk gigi yang ditempel bendera kecil. Eh, ...…

Who are the significant people in your kid's life?
Who runs the house according to their eyes?
How do they see you?

Well, despite of what they say, we can actually look through their perception through their drawings.

I did not pay attention in the first place. But then I kind of see the same pattern every time Titan draw our family portrait. Then I browse and browse and browse about how to interpret children's drawings.

Do you see what I see?






I think, I dominate his life. And I do not know whether it is good or bad. As you can see, I always be the biggest figure amongst the rest of the family. Even though I was drawn alone,  he always put me the crown and sat me on a throne. But I love the fact that he always draw himself beside me *pastel heart*

To your sister, I am her Earth.  To you, I am your Saturn. The mother nature says you both are circling around me.  But in fact, you two are my gravities.  That keep me on my orbital lapse,  and live. 
Together we cruise the universe. 

Most people don't want to admit it, but face it: we all grow up to be like our parents, in one way or another. This is very true.

To my children, don't get too hard on your Bunda yah.
And you two should read this :)

Belajar dari pengalaman tahun lalu, paling enggak ada dua event di sekolah Titan yang memerlukan bantuan orang tua untuk ikutan kontribusi. Pertama yaitu multicultural week event dan yang ke dua yaitu bussiness day event. Dua-duanya di kuartal genap, jadi bisa dibilang paling enggak enam bulan sekali lah ibu-ibu atau bapak-bapaknya harus ikutan rempong dengan kegiatan anak-anak ini.

Multicultural week adalah event besar yang paling banyak membutuhkan bantuan kordinasi orang tua atau bahkan hands-on langsung untuk kelangsungan acara. Karena event ini memang bener-bener berlangsung selama seminggu. Dimulai dengan hari pertama yang dimulai dengan touring ke kelas lain (ceritanya jalan-jalan keliling Indonesia atau keliling dunia) dimana masing-masing kelas sudah siap dengan tema masing-masing. Iya, salut sama guru-gurunya yang sudah menyiapkan segala sesuatunya. Hari ke dua, acara biasanya difokuskan di kelas masing-masing dengan memanggil guest speaker yang berbicara tentang tema daerah …

One night, when baby luna was already sleeping, you and I had this conversation.

How's your day, malicca?

Just fine. Oh, ... what are your three happiness today, Bunda?

Hmmm... I am happy because you hugged me soon as I opened up the car's door as I got back from the office. I am happy because I am full, I ate a lot on lunch and dinner. And finally, I tried the famous Cronuts!  What are your three happiness?

Oh, I am happy because you hugged me too! I am happy because I have no unfinished worksheets today. Yeay! I am happy because on PDR I made masjid Baitul Rahman with math materials in math center.

O, really? that was what you did on PDR?

Yes, Bunda. I made it with the blocks with Aria and Revatta.

Do you like your school?

Yes, I love my school.

Do you like going to school everyday?

Ah la la la la laaaa ... Nnnnoooooo hahahahaha

Why you don't like it?

Oooowh because the worksheets are soooo many, I have 3 unfinished worksheets.

Then if you can build your own school, how would you lik…

Titan suka sekali menggambar.
Dari dulu. Beberapa koleksi gambarnya bisa dilihat di sini.
Tapi kalau ditanya mau les apa enggak, jawabnya selalu "Enggak mau Nda, Titan kan udah bisa gambar."

Oke, deh!

Gambar pertama dia adalah obat nyamuk yang muter-muter dikasih roda dan dinamain 'Mobil Obat Nyamuk'.Untungnya, anaknya enggak suka coret-coret dinding. Walaupun dulu aku punya cita-cita ingin mempersembahkan satu dinding khusus yang bisa dia coret-coret trus nanti aku cat pakai cat bening supaya enggak kotor.

Tapi, kejadiannya lain. Karena baru tahun ini, setelah 6 tahun rumah ini berdiri dan dihuni, akhirnya lantai atas yang memang direncanakan jadi ruang bermain baru benar-benar officially kejadian. Tadinya, boro-boro ditidurin, diinjek lantainya aja enggak seminggu sekali. So, let alone of having his personal paraphernalia wall, kamar aja masih barengan di bawah :)

Karena itu, baru tahun inilah akhirnya kejadian Titan punya personal display wall sendiri. Dia seneng sekali…

I loved my colour tone that day. But what I loved more was; for what I did.

Yes, I resigned for the second time for the same reason: to set up a new career at home while freelancing. Why the same reason? Well, sometimes you just have to try and reviewed your decision again and again to know which decision suits you best. 
The first time I resigned from the giant multinational company Leo Burnett, it gave a little residue whether it was the right decision or not. Yet I tried to be a freelancer for four months and then decided to get hired for a permanent position a few months later. Of course, under the circumstances I thought I could deal with: 15 minutes distance from the house and school so I can easily get here and there, ... and well paid.

But apparently, a few things are only beautiful as a concept. Not in practice.

I have learnt that working is not only about getting money or fulfilling your passion. Yes it has to be on the checklists, but there is a thing beyond that. The feel…

"Bunda, bunda kok tambah gendut sih?"
*pukpuk perut*

"Tuh kan, ... enak kaya bantal. Aaaa... Titan pengen bobo di perut Bunda ajaaaa"
*boboan*

... I am blessed that you are loved by many people too.

Well,
as we know it, you got [krey-zee] about Titanic for the past months as you wrote here.
Hence, you do not need to figure-out how people know about this current fetish of yours :)
Because sometimes, to know someone is not always through the words they say.
But rather through what they showed to people.

Yet you showed us your titanic drawings.
Your titanic lego.
Your history path on our YouTube (keyword: Titanic sinking ship).
And they were how we know how much you mad about the maiden cruise of Titanic.

Thanks to Tante @dialita who found the book for you.
She even gave you her Titanic exhibition ticket (no Malicca, she did not survived from the lifeboat like you thought *LOL)

So by all means,
you should be grateful for your life.
For the people around you.
Because you were loved. By many.
Remember that, always.

Dear Malicca,

you have been giving me things all along.
Start from your paintings, drawings, stories you made yourself or letters.

Today, I got another letter from you.
But of all letters you gave me, this one is a bit different.
I felt this one is more ... personal.
It was like you wrote it from the bottom of your heart.
It was like you were telling me how disappointed you were (because I left you to the office),
... but you loved me nevertheless (I knew it from your closing lines).

Terima kasih ya sayang,
and one thing for sure;
I never felt a single bit of boredom taking care of you and your little sister.
You are my children.
It is just sometimes, ... or many times,
mom got to do what mom got to do.
And you will know, those are all for you.

I love you nonetheless!

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you may remember my post about what i thought was wrong about rising a kid. Yet the hypothesis is proven day by day. 

This time, I am challenged to be a better mom. A better person, by enhancing my listening skill which I thought I am good enough. But one night, I realized that mine was poor. 

I may have listened to what my friends shared. I may have listened good or bad news. I may have listened to what the universe said. Or my heart. But listening to a little kid, bragging about one thing over and over and over again, that is the particular part I need to elaborate (now I sound like an Account Servicing, using the word ‘elaborate’). 

Who doesn’t want to have a kid with a good listening skill? Not only it will bring them to a nice circle of friendship, good listening skill also brings kids to a better cognitive development. Because only with good listening skill, kids can digest the direction given before they do their worksheet at school. But how…

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you may remember my post about what i thought was wrong about rising a kid. Yet the hypothesis is proven day by day. 

This time, I am challenged to be a better mom. A better person, by enhancing my listening skill which I thought I am good enough. But one night, I realized that mine was poor. 

I may have listened to what my friends shared. I may have listened good or bad news. I may have listened to what the universe said. Or my heart. But listening to a little kid, bragging about one thing over and over and over again, that is the particular part I need to elaborate (now I sound like an Account Servicing, using the word ‘elaborate’). 

Who doesn’t want to have a kid with a good listening skill? Not only it will bring them to a nice circle of friendship, good listening skill also brings kids to a better cognitive development. Because only with good listening skill, kids can digest the direction given before they do their worksheet at school. But how…

for a hundred times you told me you want to be a papa when you grow up.
and today, also for the several times, i asked you why.
and here was what you said.

"
So I can protect you, Bunda. 
And I can go to work to the office so you don't have to go to work anymore.

" 

aduh, terharu mendengarnya.

Tulisan ini bukan urban legend, tapi bukan juga realitas eksakta. pengalaman ini semata-mata asumsi yang subjektif sifatnya. tapi malam ini saya belajar, bahwa saya harus lebih berhati-hati lagi dalam berkata-kata. karena kata adalah doa. dan bahwa doa di hari arafah adalah sebaik-baiknya doa, yang makbul untuk dikabulkan. 

dan malam ini, adalah malam di hari idul adha. saya, titan, luna dan ariawan lagi santai-santai di kamar anak-anak di atas. setelah hampir tujuh tahun kamar itu kosong, akhirnya kini menjadi 'sanctuary'  kami. setiap habis makan malam, pasti kami santai-santai di sana. gogoleran, browsing, membaca buku cerita hingga akhirnya anak-anak pun tertidur. begitu juga malam itu. bedanya, kami gogoleran mulai lewat maghrib karena makan malam masih disiapkan. saya sedang asyik bermain-main bayangan tangan sama luna. di usinya yang tepat tiga bulan ini, ternyata matanya sudah sangat fokus memperhatikan beragam bentuk tangan di tirai kamar yang kebetulan berwarna putih…

"if you want to make it right,  do it yourself."

... these were what happened to my life.
home, backyard, family & friends, new place, new experience, more children books, oh I can do this everyday. I'm gonna master it for sure hahaha

Dear Malicca, 
one day you will learn there is no such a thing as perfect timing. 
One day, you will also learn that it is not about waiting for the perfect time; 
but it is all about how to make time. 

Today is my last day of my 3 months maternity leave and today is your Student Lead Conference for term 1. It means, tomorrow I am going back to work as well as you will start having your holiday. Yes, again having your holiday without me. But with all your plans on how you will spend your holiday, I am sure we will have good time for the time we will make :)

Anyways,
You did a good job for your presentation at SLC. Have some homework to catch up, of course.
That would be reducing your day dreaming in the middle of lessons and learn harder for number operation and place value for math subject.

Anyways (again),
There was a slice of smile for what happen today at school.

I said to you previously to attend only your main presentation and not to take tour to your special subject teachers, becau…

Alhamdulillah.
Cuma itu satu kata yang bisa aku ucap hingga pagi ini, masih bisa memerah susu dan jumlahnya semakin banyak (ah, macam Cimory aja jadinya). Freezer pun hampir penuh. Udah nggak muat lagi to be exact, karena laci yang tengah ternyata kurang tinggi dikit untuk ukuran botol asi. Jadi harus pakai plastik asi. 
I used to be one of those militant asi mommy. Every mother designed to breastfeed, no excuse. Sempet cynical sama ibu-ibu yang keliatannya sehat fisik dan sehat finansial, tapi lebih memilih untuk memberi susu formula untuk bayi-bayinya. Tapi ternyata bukan cuma itu, aku juga cynical sama ibu-ibu yang dari kelas sosial menengah bawah dan memberi susu anak pakai botol (yang tentunya isinya susu formula dong ya, yang harganya mahal dan komposisinya tidak sebaik susu asi). 
Intinya, I got cynical to all kind of non-breastfeed mommies. 
Sekarang, aku tetap berusaha yang terbaik untuk bisa ngasih asi exclusive lagi. Kalau bisa, sampai dua tahun malah. Tapi kesadaran untuk t…

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Baru aja selesai bacain cerita sebelum tidur buat Malicca. Kali ini judulnya 'Jangan bilang siapa-siapa' karangan Clara Ng. Ceritanya tentang seorang anak burung yang terlanjur berbohong sama ibunya lalu merasa enggak enak hati seharian. Akibatnya, untuk mengurangi kegundahan hatinya dia menceritakan kegalauannya itu kepada sebuah batu. Karena batu adalah pendengar yang baik, dan dia tidak akan bilang siapa-siapa.

Bacanya sih sebentar. Malam ini kayanya udah terlalu ngantuk jadi bocah nggak terlalu banyak komen (biasanya komen-komen soal gambar).

Selesai baca, kita ngobrol.

Titan pernah kaya gini nggak? Cerita sama batu? 

Pernah. Di depan kan ada banyak batu tuh di taman, itu banyak yang udah Titan ceritain lho Nda. 

Wah, rahasia apa? Bunda boleh tau juga, nggak?

Boleh, Tapi bunda jangan bilang siapa-siapa ya. 

Iya. Rahasia apa, sih?

Iya, Titan cerita kalau Titan pernah ... (off the record since it is a secret between me and malicca)

Ooooh hahahaha ... kenapa cerita sama batu? Ko…