Skip to main content

It is not love

It is not love.
It is me who make barriers for love;
and those I love.

It is not love.
It is me who make myself a coward;
too scared to love or be loved.

It is not love.
It is me who has fears
with the feeling of expecting, and the feeling of owning.

It is not love.
It is me who think i have made mistake
by loving the wrong person, or
by loving at the wrong time, or
feeling wrong to fall in love.

It is not love.
It is me who gives labels.
Whether it is common love, true love, eros, compassion or platonic

No matter how good I am in creating words,
love is a feeling. And I can never perfectly utter what my feeling is.

But yes, it is love
that makes me fall. 
That is why they call it fall in love.

And it is not me, who has the power to resist its gravity.
And since I have fallen,
I will get hurt someday anyway.

But i would love to fall in love
again and always.



  1. Question, what the hell is common love anyway, and how do you define it?

    Love is sometimes overwhelming, I lost words when we're facing each other vis to vis.

  2. seperti yang kita bahas di YM, ...
    common love adalah saat kita cinta seseorang 'karena' dia bla bla bla. Dan biasanya ada 'relationship' di sana.

    true love adalah saat kita cinta seseorang 'walaupun' dia bla bla bla. Dan biasanya nggak ada relationship di sana. I think because it is better than the real thing and its a one way love, or unconditional love. Or, you are just playing with the feeling inside your head.

    eros is lust, compassion is devotion,
    platonic is friendship love.

    all is fine to me :)

  3. halo.. aku berkunjung ya...
    nice writing!!!
    kalaulah sudi, berkunjunglah ke 'roemah kajoemanis'ku @


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

love is love. marriage is another thing.

of all the things I ever wondered, ... I think I never wonder whom my kids will be married to. or to picture myself holding grand babies. not just a not yet, I think it is simply too hard to bear and too absurd to think of. but then I promise myself. I promise I will not ever push titan and luna to get married or even if they are married; I will not ask them when to have kids.

many times I wondered that marriage is overrated. and the only reason to get married is not love, but to realise life is too hard to bear when you are all alone. because, however, marriage is a conditional love. hubby once said, marriage is not all fancy and glitter. the lowest it can get is, to keep functioning and it will survive. how both parties can be functional one to another, is another story.

to ariawan, a guy of mine,
the one who always wake me up from my princessy dreams. love you.

Three hours late.

2 AM and I stepped in to the house. Hubby was waiting for me. This was not the first time, and not the latest hour I had ever experienced with over time.

"See you soon Bunda. Or at 8, or at 9, or at 10, or at 11 like you said you would be late." Said my son.

I smiled as I entered the house. I smelled home. I saw my beautiful mess. As I picked up some toys on the floor, I imagined what games the kids had played today. There was a drawing, mini ceramics pots, not too chaotic for kids who were left with nini and aki without nannies.

I also saw their time tables, with some check marks on the list. Those that they weren't checked was the responsibility to wash their own dishes. I saw some dirty cups piling up. I saw the microwave's door left half-opened, a baking sheet and a knife. I wonder what they have cooked.
I also saw minecraft was in active window and some search on youtube and google.

Getting home in this hour and not seeing their faces but seeing all the mess the…

Life. Just like what I wanted.

Tiga belas bulan yang lalu, saya memutuskan untuk kembali bekerja setelah 2,5 tahun jadi freelance (tapi lebih banyak free-nya sih hahaha). Satu-satunya yang bikin saya merasa harus bekerja ya cuma Apple. Sisanya, banyak project yang saya tolak-tolakin karena males aja sih intinya. Belaguk bangetlah pokoknya.

Setelah merasa udah nggak produktif lagi di rumah, otak berasa tumpul dan rasa percaya diri udah nyungsep, saat itulah saya terima tawaran untuk kembali ke advertising. Banyak yang nyinyir sih, menganggap industri itu gelap banget dan ngapain udah enak-enak di rumah kok ya balik ngantor. Alasannya cuma satu: bosen di rumah.

Enggak tahu hal baik apa yang telah saya lakukan dalam hidup, ternyata saya dianugerahi tim yang baiiiiik banget. Anaknya manis-manis, good attitude dan yang paling penting; penuh tanggung jawab. Saya ngerasa banyak belajar dari mereka. Mulai hal baru di luaran sana sampai cara pakai krim mata. Enggak sedikit juga kesedihan yang kita tanggung bareng-bareng, da…