Skip to main content

october.

october is still in the beginning. it was wet and i could smell the fresh smell of the grass, even if it was not raining. october  used to be my favorite month. it was autumn, it was dry and the cold breeze can easily breaks my nose membrane and i got nose bleed. the day i found you.

it has been years ago. now i feel october in new breeze. this time, october felt a bit rush.

earliest october was the day of a mega pitch. three pitch presentations in a day. it was like our blood and flesh were torn apart preparing the whole things. one of the pitches was also one of the backbone clients, that also brought the feeling of having the pitch felt like a burden. i could not imagine how many cut offs there would be if we lose.

the second day, was also one of the biggest day for my son and also for me. the day my one and only son got circumcised. at his 9 years of age, he decided to surrender himself to one of the deepest pain in life. his cry resembled the day he lost his eyang and also resembled the night he missed his father when there were just the two of us. i took a hold on him. i hugged him tight and looked deep into his eyes. telling him to be patient and how proud i am to have such a brave kid like him. i could not see what the doctor did to his thing, i prefered to look just into his eyes. from the beginning to the end.

the eleventh day, would also be one of the big day. having a kid went to school everyday was already such a production. i just could imagine having two. but yes, i will.
little luna could wait to go to school. the day we got the acceptance letter, the swimming bag, the t-shirt, she wore them all together and handed out the letter i needed to sign. what would happen next, i could imagine. would she get cranky, would the separation anxiety rise, would she refused to have breakfast, would there be another imaginary friend coming out as a self defense just like titan did, would there be a problem since she is a kind of aggressive girl. oh boy, i really could not imagine.

i hope everything would be just fine. another steps to be a better mom, better parent and a better me.
bismillah.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Life. Just like what I wanted.

Sounds so snobbish ya, saying life is just like what I wanted. But then I realized, semua itu karena emang aku enggak pengen apa-apa. Sekarang juga (ternyata) masih begitu. Dulu emang I treat my life like a blue print. Things to do piling up my list and my aims were to accomplish them. Alhamdulillah, semua tercapai. Tapi kemudian seperti ada titik tolak dalam hidup yang bikin  berhenti ingin terlalu banyak dari hidup. Entah karena merasa udah cukup banyak pencapaian pribadi baik yang bagus atau yang buruk, entah karena pernah kecewa berat sama yang namanya manusia atau karena alasan klise yang digadang-gadang semua manusia: anak.

Sekarang ini, lebih banyak menyambut apa yang datang ke dalam hidup. Termasuk, kembali ke agency lagi. Having thought that I am not some kind of 'Man in a mission' kind of person. I am just an 'I will do my best' of what comes in front of me kind of person.

Gini ceritanya.

Tiga belas bulan yang lalu, saya memutuskan untuk kembali bekerja setel…

Let's cut the crap from the question of Which Mom Are You?

A few years back, social media was being fussy about working mom versus stay at home home. What a nonsense brag! Since I went through both and also had a chance of being a working-from-home mom, it is even more ridiculous for me. Only stupid have a time discussing it and to elaborate on their social media status. Whoever we are, what kind of mom we are, what matters most is how we can make our life productive and progressing. Every single day.

Different mom has different ways of being productive. Some goes to work. Some clean up and cook for the family. Some works at home by selling stuffs online or being a freelancer. Productive means to produce something. Be it money, the foods, you name them all. But the question is, is productive enough? How about having a progressing life? Not as the wife of Mr. Blabla or as the mom of kid Zubidudamdam. But us, as a person. Me, as Wury; a 38 years old woman and how far I have made progress in  my life.

BUT. Let alone of being progressive, ... ar…

love is love. marriage is another thing.

of all the things I ever wondered, ... I think I never wonder whom my kids will be married to. or to picture myself holding grand babies. not just a not yet, I think it is simply too hard to bear and too absurd to think of. but then I promise myself. I promise I will not ever push titan and luna to get married or even if they are married; I will not ask them when to have kids.

many times I wondered that marriage is overrated. and the only reason to get married is not love, but to realise life is too hard to bear when you are all alone. because, however, marriage is a conditional love. hubby once said, marriage is not all fancy and glitter. the lowest it can get is, to keep functioning and it will survive. how both parties can be functional one to another, is another story.

to ariawan, a guy of mine,
the one who always wake me up from my princessy dreams. love you.