Monday, October 03, 2016

october.

october is still in the beginning. it was wet and i could smell the fresh smell of the grass, even if it was not raining. october  used to be my favorite month. it was autumn, it was dry and the cold breeze can easily breaks my nose membrane and i got nose bleed. the day i found you.

it has been years ago. now i feel october in new breeze. this time, october felt a bit rush.

earliest october was the day of a mega pitch. three pitch presentations in a day. it was like our blood and flesh were torn apart preparing the whole things. one of the pitches was also one of the backbone clients, that also brought the feeling of having the pitch felt like a burden. i could not imagine how many cut offs there would be if we lose.

the second day, was also one of the biggest day for my son and also for me. the day my one and only son got circumcised. at his 9 years of age, he decided to surrender himself to one of the deepest pain in life. his cry resembled the day he lost his eyang and also resembled the night he missed his father when there were just the two of us. i took a hold on him. i hugged him tight and looked deep into his eyes. telling him to be patient and how proud i am to have such a brave kid like him. i could not see what the doctor did to his thing, i prefered to look just into his eyes. from the beginning to the end.

the eleventh day, would also be one of the big day. having a kid went to school everyday was already such a production. i just could imagine having two. but yes, i will.
little luna could wait to go to school. the day we got the acceptance letter, the swimming bag, the t-shirt, she wore them all together and handed out the letter i needed to sign. what would happen next, i could imagine. would she get cranky, would the separation anxiety rise, would she refused to have breakfast, would there be another imaginary friend coming out as a self defense just like titan did, would there be a problem since she is a kind of aggressive girl. oh boy, i really could not imagine.

i hope everything would be just fine. another steps to be a better mom, better parent and a better me.
bismillah.

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