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my own kind

how long has my kid gone to school? probably four and a half years. titan did not really attend a pre-school or other pre-kindie program. he was too busy at home playing with his grandpa from climbing a tree, feeding the pets or ride a bike. He started on tk kecil when he was 4 and moved to elementary school when he was 5 (in highscope, elementary starts on kindergarten).

along his journey, as far as i remember, never at once i made such a bff relationship with other parents. until this year on grade 2. when did we get together? never from small talks. we started it for a support system of a worsen condition that day and we just clicked. we both have the same son and daughter of the same age.

it has been a while since i last have chat with my own kind. i miss those nitty gritty running the house, talking about schools and courses, daily menus, chats about how we are not slim anymore where wrinkles and fatbelly have become our jewelleries that make us happy. those chats that no longer about ourselves, handsome guys or wanting more physical belongings. chats about future and how to make a better future through our children. chats about their happiness. because we know when they are happy and so are we.

those chats were not only today when i had a playdate with brit and hikaru. i also had a luxurious two days playdate with femmy who reminded me there are another sky above the sky and there are more mud below the land i am stepping on. she reminded me about the dream we have and we always had that waits to be made. and i also had the luxurious chat with a mother i always look up to. she did another great thing lately: to let his son released his choice in medical faculty of ugm and decided to join a flying academy instead.

yeah, i need more dose of them. meeting my own kind.
it grows me.


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love is love. marriage is another thing.

of all the things I ever wondered, ... I think I never wonder whom my kids will be married to. or to picture myself holding grand babies. not just a not yet, I think it is simply too hard to bear and too absurd to think of. but then I promise myself. I promise I will not ever push titan and luna to get married or even if they are married; I will not ask them when to have kids.

many times I wondered that marriage is overrated. and the only reason to get married is not love, but to realise life is too hard to bear when you are all alone. because, however, marriage is a conditional love. hubby once said, marriage is not all fancy and glitter. the lowest it can get is, to keep functioning and it will survive. how both parties can be functional one to another, is another story.

to ariawan, a guy of mine,
the one who always wake me up from my princessy dreams. love you.

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2 AM and I stepped in to the house. Hubby was waiting for me. This was not the first time, and not the latest hour I had ever experienced with over time.

"See you soon Bunda. Or at 8, or at 9, or at 10, or at 11 like you said you would be late." Said my son.

I smiled as I entered the house. I smelled home. I saw my beautiful mess. As I picked up some toys on the floor, I imagined what games the kids had played today. There was a drawing, mini ceramics pots, not too chaotic for kids who were left with nini and aki without nannies.

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I also saw minecraft was in active window and some search on youtube and google.

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