Never at once; someone who got married with the reason of building life together, wanted a divorce. But who knows things that would came up along the marriage? A divorce is the last thing someone would do. Not because they are not strong enough. It is because they are tired to wake up on the same day everyday. Maybe, it is because they urge the need of moving on their life.
And so I did.
The best thing of the worst things happened was, we decided it together. We got to the court together. We wrote the testimony together, consulted every lines to each other and made sure they are accepted by both parties.
What we started well must end well.
And here comes the saddest part, our son. God knows the regrets we had, and still having, for what he has been through. We did mistakes for our marriage, we cannot do mistake to our son. If anyone would ever asked how me and my ex could still meet each other nicely and peacefully, the answer will only be one: it is because the love for our son is so great. Even greater than the love we have for ourselves that we need to lower down our ego, to be stronger to keep catering the past to the present.
And as everyone wanted, our life moves on. But the past can never be forgotten, can never be erased. For now our past have merged together with the present. I am blessed for having a husband who is open minded to accept my ex to come over to our house for a Fridate with our son. To find someone who loves you and wanted to marry you might be hard. But I can tell you, finding someone who wanted to marry you and love not only you but also the ones you love, is way harder. And I am blessed once again for finding one.
I remember the letter my son wrote for his step father on father's day last year.
"Terima kasih Bubu, sudah kasih tahu Titan kalau Titan salah. Terima Kasih. Happy Bubu's day"
Today, I found he wrote another letter. Not for me or his bubu, it was for his cousin. But he showed me and he made me smile. He wrote about what he likes, what makes him feel bored, what the weird things happening, and most important is how he live a happy life and live a happy family.
Our life might not perfect, Malicca. But your happiness is what I can always promise you that I will try my best. Let's be happy with our limitations. Let's make peace with ourselves and all the things or people we ever hate.
|7 y.o big brother lulled her 1,5 y.o little sister while mom was driving.|
|The little note.|
|What I always witness before bed time.|
I am blessed.
Thank you God, for giving such kind and wonderful people in my life.
Having them makes me think that no such little hatred deserves a space in my brain.