I loved my colour tone that day. But what I loved more was; for what I did.

Yes, I resigned for the second time for the same reason: to set up a new career at home while freelancing. Why the same reason? Well, sometimes you just have to try and reviewed your decision again and again to know which decision suits you best. 

The first time I resigned from the giant multinational company Leo Burnett, it gave a little residue whether it was the right decision or not. Yet I tried to be a freelancer for four months and then decided to get hired for a permanent position a few months later. Of course, under the circumstances I thought I could deal with: 15 minutes distance from the house and school so I can easily get here and there, ... and well paid.

But apparently, a few things are only beautiful as a concept. Not in practice.

I have learnt that working is not only about getting money or fulfilling your passion. Yes it has to be on the checklists, but there is a thing beyond that. The feeling of how you can be useful to your beloved ones.  And the reason of my resignation is more of how I can be more useful at this moment for my family. And at this very moment, I feel that I can be more useful at home.

Today, as I gave the resignation letter, I felt ... relieved. Like it was the right thing. And after that, I did a creative review with the account service department and thought it was my best (and maybe my last) internal presentation during my working days in the company. I felt so alive, no burden, I cut whatever they say with buts. Then it makes me wonder how I love this field, being a creative in an advertising agency. The soul-free feeling, way from office politics. The perpetual dreamer who loves to be 'puk-puk' and easily got amused and bribed with snacks or comfort foods (well, all kinds of foods can actually comfort us). The loud voices and music bangs. A drink that eventually seal the day or a winning. 

Yes, I kind of miss that. And I have been missing all that.

This little child in me doesn't want to get to work without playing anymore. Doesn't want to hold-up anymore.And I believe I have become too silencio.  I have become a mature adult - a thing that creative advertising agencies forbid to have in their list.

I might be aging. But today, I choose to play. To just stop and narrow down options in order to have another one wide opened.

Bismillah.