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Five things

While waiting Bubu for dinner and me nursing your little sister, we had this beautiful conversation in my bed room.

Malicca, let's play love and hate.
What's that?
Mention the five things you love and five things you hate.

Okay, and here are the five things you love (at this moment):

1. You love to draw
(well, obviously)

2. You love my phone and Bubu's tab
(you love to browse Titanic, whirlpool and plays Minecraft lately)

3. You love my bed side lamp and a pencil sharpener
(it was Ikea lamp, and you love sharpener because you can not have a blunt pencil. You just can't. I remember when your teacher told me that you often have your work unfinished just because you keep sharpening your pencil during the lesson like an OCD kid hahaha)

4. You love me
(yes, I know it and I love you too so very much)

5. I love adek La luna
(promise me you will be a good big brother and protect her, okay? :) )

Next was the five things you hate. 
It was even more interesting, because we had a big laugh discussing them. There are:

1. You hate nail
(oh, I just knew it. When I asked you why, you told me because it is sharp and you're afraid it might fall on your head. Oh boy.)

2. You hate when Bubu gets very angry
(oh well, obviously. I also hate when my dad gets angry to me, until this very moment when I am 34 haha. Then I asked you 'what would you do then when he gets angry?' ... 'I just keep silent and avoid him anywhere I go. I will go to Nini's house, lock the door and I won't come out hahaha)

3. You hate when the lights off
(when I asked you why, you said because you are afraid of 'Mama' - the movie. You are afraid she might look for her papa and thinks you are her papa because you always wanted to be a papa. 
Do you want to know a secret? Many times, when you take a very long shower even for hours, I intentionally put the electricity down. That way you will finish your shower and get dressed. I'm done, I'm done, you said). 

4. You hate when something hits your head, for example those guava at Nini's house. The tree was so fruitful they fell apart on your head in the morning.

5. You hate when you accidentally step on something sticky, ... especially if it's a poo poo!
(it just happened this afternoon, you stepped on the bird's poo at Nini's terrace. I laughed out loud to see your expression and you finally laughed too!)

Hey, I love having this conversation with you. Let's do this everyday, son. So you know how to count every blessings and be grateful of them.
And as you know, to mention things you hate was much easier right? It is because to see what you hate is easier than to see good deeds. But if you think only the bad things, that is the only thing that would stick in your head. Might as well, think of the goodness and that is the thing you will remember.

I love you!

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love is love. marriage is another thing.

of all the things I ever wondered, ... I think I never wonder whom my kids will be married to. or to picture myself holding grand babies. not just a not yet, I think it is simply too hard to bear and too absurd to think of. but then I promise myself. I promise I will not ever push titan and luna to get married or even if they are married; I will not ask them when to have kids.

many times I wondered that marriage is overrated. and the only reason to get married is not love, but to realise life is too hard to bear when you are all alone. because, however, marriage is a conditional love. hubby once said, marriage is not all fancy and glitter. the lowest it can get is, to keep functioning and it will survive. how both parties can be functional one to another, is another story.

to ariawan, a guy of mine,
the one who always wake me up from my princessy dreams. love you.



Three hours late.

2 AM and I stepped in to the house. Hubby was waiting for me. This was not the first time, and not the latest hour I had ever experienced with over time.

"See you soon Bunda. Or at 8, or at 9, or at 10, or at 11 like you said you would be late." Said my son.

I smiled as I entered the house. I smelled home. I saw my beautiful mess. As I picked up some toys on the floor, I imagined what games the kids had played today. There was a drawing, mini ceramics pots, not too chaotic for kids who were left with nini and aki without nannies.

I also saw their time tables, with some check marks on the list. Those that they weren't checked was the responsibility to wash their own dishes. I saw some dirty cups piling up. I saw the microwave's door left half-opened, a baking sheet and a knife. I wonder what they have cooked.
I also saw minecraft was in active window and some search on youtube and google.

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