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Me. Now

This is me. Now.

I am 34 y.o, 32 weeks pregnant, have gained 13,5 kilograms and still crawling up (which I hope it would not be much), still supervising the shoot for TV commercials (this is the second continuity day by the way), and still driving my own. Sometimes, abang ojek is pretty handy too.

My life now is a bit ... tiring, if I may say.

Different from when I conceived Malicca, everything was easier. Of course, because I was only 28 by then. I was splurged by the easiness of finding food stalls around my office in Blok M, and my office mates always asked me "Bumil mau mau makan apa hari ini?" ... day and night. My previous office also paid so much attention to pregnant women that I wasn't given so much tasks outside office. Rather they put me on floating system so I could do more in the office for other teams. I had chances to have a power nap in my first semester, I did not have to drive myself, and as cherry on top ... I still lived with my parents at that time, with no obligations and 247 full-womb-service. I also said No to many things. I immediately stop as I see stairways. I drink my vitamin and calcium regularly, like a Swiss watch precision. I said NO to Teh Botol, Indomie and other artificials. I was a happy being the whole term, ... maybe that is why Malicca born as a happy child. Full of laughter, positive and friendly.

It is true what people said. That every pregnancy is different. Conceiving a baby after 6 years, I almost forgot what it felt like. My body, my metabolism, my brain functionals, all are way different now. To add with, my life now is a bit challenging. Workload, get domesticated with no maid and taking care of my kindergarten kid challenging behaviour and his never ending school projects all-together, ... they are such a production and is so time and energy consuming. These are the things I cannot have one by one. They happen together and me with the water-melony belly needs to juggle.

Is my life so struggling like you imagine?

I thought so too. But you know what, despite of the office thingy, I am happy.
This is what my life suppose to be. Being a wife, a mother and a working mom. To wake up earlier and prepare lunch boxes for hubby and son, to assist my son doing his school projects and get involved with the school community and activities, go to work, cook our dinner soon as I get back home. Sounds like I want to have every checklists a perfect mom has, ... but no I am not.  I know I cannot be perfect,  I just want to be capable.

Then when things getting rough, I have learnt that all I have to do is ask for a hand. Like the last shooting day in weekend. My hubby and son took me to the shooting location. My son was there beside me all day to entertain me, and there always bright sides in every dark. I taught him what a film production is. What director, setting, lighting, characters and scripts are. My hubby left for a few hours and got  back with 4 orange trees I longed to have for my garden: Jeruk Nipis, Jeruk Limau, Jeruk lemon he forgot but substituted it with Jeruk Intan (that smells like jasmine) and Jeruk Kesturi.

I have learnt that no matter how hard our life is, it is very helpful to realize we have people around to give some help. And all we need to do is ask. Even a little hand can help, like how Malicca took a picture of me today.


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