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I really really really enjoyed my time together with Malicca specially when we were about to go to bed and having a shower. Those are the times when he was so so sooooo talkative. Sometimes my head hurts because of it.

Just like this morning.

Bunda, Titan kan pernah ya waktu itu hari Minggu cepat-cepat mandi; soalnya kata Bunda bilang mau nonton. 

Iya, minggu lalu kan? 

Iya. Trus habis mandi Titan tanya "Pakai baju apa, Bunda?"

Trus Bunda bilang "Pakai baju biasa aja."

Trus Titan tanya "Lho kok pake baju biasa? Kan mau nonton...." Ehhh taunya bukan nonton bioskop di mall ya. Taunya nonton Bioskop Bunda di rumah. Itu mah namanya nonton TV, Bunda. Lain kali kalau ngomong yang jelaaaaaaaaaaaaaas." You said in flat face.

Me: "Lho, tapi kan namanya nonton juga itu. Nonton film pakai DVD, di TV. Itu namanya Bioskop Bunda."

T: "Bukan, itu namanya TV. Tuh, ada tulisannya Samsung Smart TV"

M: "Emang kalau nonton di bioskop ada tulisannya? B-I-O-S-K-O-P, gitu?"
 

T: "Ya enggak ada sih, tapi kan ada tulisannya di tiket."

I made a big laugh out of it.
I am sorry son, I did not know how disappointed you were until you told me just now.
Well, Okay. errr... I sometimes hid a little bit clues, but it did not mean I lied.
Sometimes, telling you things in details was such a TV production. Yea, ... that tough you know.
Why? Because it would at least took me 10 minutes to explain and answer your 'out-of-the-box' logical question and bragged your million reasons.

But you know what, I love those moments.
Yea, ... those irritating reasoning.
Cause when two people are having argument, means that both are thinking.

Keep going, will you?
Someday I will miss our conversation and discussion a lot, which I hope is not ending up so soon.



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love is love. marriage is another thing.

of all the things I ever wondered, ... I think I never wonder whom my kids will be married to. or to picture myself holding grand babies. not just a not yet, I think it is simply too hard to bear and too absurd to think of. but then I promise myself. I promise I will not ever push titan and luna to get married or even if they are married; I will not ask them when to have kids.

many times I wondered that marriage is overrated. and the only reason to get married is not love, but to realise life is too hard to bear when you are all alone. because, however, marriage is a conditional love. hubby once said, marriage is not all fancy and glitter. the lowest it can get is, to keep functioning and it will survive. how both parties can be functional one to another, is another story.

to ariawan, a guy of mine,
the one who always wake me up from my princessy dreams. love you.



Three hours late.

2 AM and I stepped in to the house. Hubby was waiting for me. This was not the first time, and not the latest hour I had ever experienced with over time.

"See you soon Bunda. Or at 8, or at 9, or at 10, or at 11 like you said you would be late." Said my son.

I smiled as I entered the house. I smelled home. I saw my beautiful mess. As I picked up some toys on the floor, I imagined what games the kids had played today. There was a drawing, mini ceramics pots, not too chaotic for kids who were left with nini and aki without nannies.

I also saw their time tables, with some check marks on the list. Those that they weren't checked was the responsibility to wash their own dishes. I saw some dirty cups piling up. I saw the microwave's door left half-opened, a baking sheet and a knife. I wonder what they have cooked.
I also saw minecraft was in active window and some search on youtube and google.

Getting home in this hour and not seeing their faces but seeing all the mess the…

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