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I want to be bigger!

when you were nearly six and I held you like a baby.
Yes, I put you in my arms and took you close to my breast. Very close.

"Oh why have you grown so fast?" I held you tighter and tighttttttter.
"I like it when you hold me this way, like a baby." You said.
"Then don't grow up so fast. Please please please stay this way, will you? Do you want to stay this way and stop growing up? So I can hold and hug and cuddle you always?" I asked him while kissing him over and over.
"No no nooo" You replied instantly.
"What? You don't want it?"
"No, I like when you hold me this way, but I want to be bigger!" You said, certainly.
"But why?"
"Because getting bigger is good, Bunda. So I can drive and take you to the office!" You explained your reason.

I smiled.

Grown ups want to get back to their childhood, sometimes.
They miss their school times and school friends, many times.
They miss do stupid things simply because they realize that they are now have grown up.
Often they wish they can play all day, do not have to go to work or need to be responsible of things they'd done or wish they don't have to make big decisions for their life.
They wish they can do anything they want, have milk and cookies before bed without being worry they will gain weight.
They wish for simple things when they were a child.
That when they are sad, they will cry.
That when they got angry to their friend they will have a big fight but the next minute they will play as if nothing ever happened.
That when they're sleepy, they will sleep.
That when they love someone, they just love without asking the same thing back.

Sometimes, grown ups want to be like you, a little child. 

I did not say these to you that day.
I preferred to hold you longer, while you still want it too.
Because I know, you will be bigger and bigger in each day.
And you might not let me hold you this tight ever again.

Yes, you will grow up
and by then you can read this blog.
Thinking of how much I love you.


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