Skip to main content

I want to be bigger!

when you were nearly six and I held you like a baby.
Yes, I put you in my arms and took you close to my breast. Very close.

"Oh why have you grown so fast?" I held you tighter and tighttttttter.
"I like it when you hold me this way, like a baby." You said.
"Then don't grow up so fast. Please please please stay this way, will you? Do you want to stay this way and stop growing up? So I can hold and hug and cuddle you always?" I asked him while kissing him over and over.
"No no nooo" You replied instantly.
"What? You don't want it?"
"No, I like when you hold me this way, but I want to be bigger!" You said, certainly.
"But why?"
"Because getting bigger is good, Bunda. So I can drive and take you to the office!" You explained your reason.

I smiled.

Grown ups want to get back to their childhood, sometimes.
They miss their school times and school friends, many times.
They miss do stupid things simply because they realize that they are now have grown up.
Often they wish they can play all day, do not have to go to work or need to be responsible of things they'd done or wish they don't have to make big decisions for their life.
They wish they can do anything they want, have milk and cookies before bed without being worry they will gain weight.
They wish for simple things when they were a child.
That when they are sad, they will cry.
That when they got angry to their friend they will have a big fight but the next minute they will play as if nothing ever happened.
That when they're sleepy, they will sleep.
That when they love someone, they just love without asking the same thing back.

Sometimes, grown ups want to be like you, a little child. 

I did not say these to you that day.
I preferred to hold you longer, while you still want it too.
Because I know, you will be bigger and bigger in each day.
And you might not let me hold you this tight ever again.

Yes, you will grow up
and by then you can read this blog.
Thinking of how much I love you.


Popular posts from this blog

Life. Just like what I wanted.

Sounds so snobbish ya, saying life is just like what I wanted. But then I realized, semua itu karena emang aku enggak pengen apa-apa. Sekarang juga (ternyata) masih begitu. Dulu emang I treat my life like a blue print. Things to do piling up my list and my aims were to accomplish them. Alhamdulillah, semua tercapai. Tapi kemudian seperti ada titik tolak dalam hidup yang bikin  berhenti ingin terlalu banyak dari hidup. Entah karena merasa udah cukup banyak pencapaian pribadi baik yang bagus atau yang buruk, entah karena pernah kecewa berat sama yang namanya manusia atau karena alasan klise yang digadang-gadang semua manusia: anak.

Sekarang ini, lebih banyak menyambut apa yang datang ke dalam hidup. Termasuk, kembali ke agency lagi. Having thought that I am not some kind of 'Man in a mission' kind of person. I am just an 'I will do my best' of what comes in front of me kind of person.

Gini ceritanya.

Tiga belas bulan yang lalu, saya memutuskan untuk kembali bekerja setel…

Let's cut the crap from the question of Which Mom Are You?

A few years back, social media was being fussy about working mom versus stay at home home. What a nonsense brag! Since I went through both and also had a chance of being a working-from-home mom, it is even more ridiculous for me. Only stupid have a time discussing it and to elaborate on their social media status. Whoever we are, what kind of mom we are, what matters most is how we can make our life productive and progressing. Every single day.

Different mom has different ways of being productive. Some goes to work. Some clean up and cook for the family. Some works at home by selling stuffs online or being a freelancer. Productive means to produce something. Be it money, the foods, you name them all. But the question is, is productive enough? How about having a progressing life? Not as the wife of Mr. Blabla or as the mom of kid Zubidudamdam. But us, as a person. Me, as Wury; a 38 years old woman and how far I have made progress in  my life.

BUT. Let alone of being progressive, ... ar…

love is love. marriage is another thing.

of all the things I ever wondered, ... I think I never wonder whom my kids will be married to. or to picture myself holding grand babies. not just a not yet, I think it is simply too hard to bear and too absurd to think of. but then I promise myself. I promise I will not ever push titan and luna to get married or even if they are married; I will not ask them when to have kids.

many times I wondered that marriage is overrated. and the only reason to get married is not love, but to realise life is too hard to bear when you are all alone. because, however, marriage is a conditional love. hubby once said, marriage is not all fancy and glitter. the lowest it can get is, to keep functioning and it will survive. how both parties can be functional one to another, is another story.

to ariawan, a guy of mine,
the one who always wake me up from my princessy dreams. love you.