Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Confession of a now working mother then a full-time housewife

Whether it is a syndrome or not, I do not know. 

Today is my third week being a full-time house wife, yet my verdict on my first week has not change. That being a full-time house wife requires more than 24 hours a day because they are so much things to do. Thus, made me a little bit 'jet-lag' in the first place. I might still am.

Do you know what I had in mind before I decided to quit my job?I wanted to be a full-time mother and have a simpler life. I wanted to go freelancing and work anyway and whenever I like.  It turns out that things are not as easy as I thought they were. 

Now I realize that by being a full-time working mother, I had a so much simpler life. Every time I woke up in the morning, I already know what I had to do. Like a machine (in a positive sense), I had time slots for everything I had to do and controlled them. I dropped my kid to school, went to the office, worked, had lunch, had meetings and went back home. I cannot deny they were  numerous 'me-time' timing in between the slots therefore I could tweet, I could read a book, I could browse, I could stop-by to a near store and bought (many times) unimportant stuffs, I even had more time to update my blog.

Why simpler? because I saw what I saw, and what I saw was me.

I made menus for Titan's lunch and handed over to the caregiver at home (which was my mom) and there went off one of my worries that day. I dropped my kid to school and handed over to the teacher. Once again, there poof one of my obligations that day. Unless I had a call from my son or regarding my son or parents, I assumed everything was okay and continued my life that day and drowned with piles of jobs and colleagues and personal plans for the day. When I got home, the timing was not enough if I demanded everyone to pack every details in the form of 'The story of the day' and we all chose to have a little chat or light games or watched movie and we went to sleep. A discussion required for serious matters, and nothing was so serious unless it had to do with health, career or big family members. 

I knew I only had 24 hours. When the time slots filled and  today's checklists were checked, I gained the peacefulness of the day. 

Now,  I see everything what I left behind if I went to work back then. In details. But I cannot see them with professional point of view like how I used to see things at work.  

I see my son's face expression if he has to go to school. I see his face when I pick him up. I see dust on the top of the table and bread crumbs on the carpet. I see my elderly. I see the fading out paint on the wall. I see the dirty laundry. I think of menus to cook. I see my piles of to-be-read books. I see teary eyes of my son's because of his school friends. I see the weed wildly grows in the back yard. I see the pets need food and drink. 

I hardly see me. I see many things to do and many things I can do, and I know 24 hours is not enough. 

Back to my hypothesis of having a simpler life by becoming a full-time house wife, yet I get the antithesis. 

How can you expect emotion will be simpler than your professionalism? And life, is never simpler when you see other things compare to when you see yourself (and this thought leads me to another question - why we often see our self in the most delicate way - But I will not talk about this on this post). 

Anyways, to me, being a full-time working mother or being a full-time house wife; no one is better than the others. It is just a choice you can make, just like any other choices in your life. I

My weekdays after advertising life, so far. 

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous6.8.12

    Move on and keep on growing up... It's great!


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