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Passion


I did not finish my electone school
I did not finish my violin school
I did not continue my last level of English skill, CAE, with British Council certificate
I haven’t started my sewing project, let alone of finishing it
I did not continue my Bali dance lesson
I did not finish my meal sometimes

There are many other things in life I did not finish them. Despite of all responsible reasons or illogical because' that made me did them, still they are parts that shape me to become the person of who I am today.  

But there is this one thing I love doing. Always doing. Luckily, has been giving me money for my family since twelve years ago. It is the only thing I had never take a course on or took a formal school. I just did and still doing it. 

Writing.

My first poem was about a banana tree and I got loads of laugh when reading it in front of my cousins. The second one was about mother’s day that I gave it to my mom and she did not even take a look at it. The next writings were in the form of a diary and I had been doing it for 12 years. Then as I learned to fall in love, I started to write more poems, most of them are twisted and complex absurd poems. 

I collected those poems and short stories and made a handmade book of my own when I was 21 and joined Bunga Matahari mailing list and published a book together in 2004. I joined advertising and worked as a copywriter and won the best copywriting in my third year in the industry. Now, all of my writing comes in the form of blogs. Hopefully, I will someday publish a book of my own.

So, is it passion? Is passion something that you have been always doing without you even noticing it is your passion? Is passion will soon be ruined once you got into an institution and feel obliged to do it? If it is, then I am one of the luckiest person in the world to do something that I love and I got paid for it. If it is not, then maybe I will not finish it and writing will just be my other way of searching what I really looking for.

I have no idea. I just do, and I love it so far.

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love is love. marriage is another thing.

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many times I wondered that marriage is overrated. and the only reason to get married is not love, but to realise life is too hard to bear when you are all alone. because, however, marriage is a conditional love. hubby once said, marriage is not all fancy and glitter. the lowest it can get is, to keep functioning and it will survive. how both parties can be functional one to another, is another story.

to ariawan, a guy of mine,
the one who always wake me up from my princessy dreams. love you.



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2 AM and I stepped in to the house. Hubby was waiting for me. This was not the first time, and not the latest hour I had ever experienced with over time.

"See you soon Bunda. Or at 8, or at 9, or at 10, or at 11 like you said you would be late." Said my son.

I smiled as I entered the house. I smelled home. I saw my beautiful mess. As I picked up some toys on the floor, I imagined what games the kids had played today. There was a drawing, mini ceramics pots, not too chaotic for kids who were left with nini and aki without nannies.

I also saw their time tables, with some check marks on the list. Those that they weren't checked was the responsibility to wash their own dishes. I saw some dirty cups piling up. I saw the microwave's door left half-opened, a baking sheet and a knife. I wonder what they have cooked.
I also saw minecraft was in active window and some search on youtube and google.

Getting home in this hour and not seeing their faces but seeing all the mess the…

Life. Just like what I wanted.

Tiga belas bulan yang lalu, saya memutuskan untuk kembali bekerja setelah 2,5 tahun jadi freelance (tapi lebih banyak free-nya sih hahaha). Satu-satunya yang bikin saya merasa harus bekerja ya cuma Apple. Sisanya, banyak project yang saya tolak-tolakin karena males aja sih intinya. Belaguk bangetlah pokoknya.

Setelah merasa udah nggak produktif lagi di rumah, otak berasa tumpul dan rasa percaya diri udah nyungsep, saat itulah saya terima tawaran untuk kembali ke advertising. Banyak yang nyinyir sih, menganggap industri itu gelap banget dan ngapain udah enak-enak di rumah kok ya balik ngantor. Alasannya cuma satu: bosen di rumah.

Enggak tahu hal baik apa yang telah saya lakukan dalam hidup, ternyata saya dianugerahi tim yang baiiiiik banget. Anaknya manis-manis, good attitude dan yang paling penting; penuh tanggung jawab. Saya ngerasa banyak belajar dari mereka. Mulai hal baru di luaran sana sampai cara pakai krim mata. Enggak sedikit juga kesedihan yang kita tanggung bareng-bareng, da…