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Now and Then

Little did I know about having a child (or more), is that the more they grow up the more hard-working the parent needs to be. 

When I was pregnant and hoped to give birth soon. After I gave birth, I got cranky I needed to breastfeed anytime anywhere. I complained I needed to wake up 4 or 5 times in the middle of the night. I hoped he would start weaning soon. After he reached 6 months and started eating solid foods, I got cranky for I needed to prepare his meal in three different menus for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Not to forget, some snacks. After that, I hoped he would walk soon. After he walked, I started cranky because I was too tired to catch him. And I hoped he would go to school soon. After he reached the school age, I started to wonder why there are so many more I had to do. I needed to wake up way earlier, prepare his lunch box, prepare his school projects and performances, birthdays, class party, parent-teacher meetings and much much more. 

There. There I wondered, why did I wish everything to move faster? Life was so much simpler when he was in my womb. He listened to me, he ate what I ate without complain, he never say no. On the breastfeeding era, wasn’t my life was way simpler as well? I didn’t need to cook, let alone of thinking what menu. Everything he needs is here, on my chest. Every time he gets hungry all I needed to do was unbutton my clothes and there, he would find his heaven in a heartbeat. By the time he was sleepy, he could sleep in my arms for he weighted no more than 10 kilos and I could just bring him anywhere I go. 

Imagine when he becomes ABG and smelly, college student and rebellious, wants to work as something people never knew before but doesn’t know what it is. Imagine the time when he is able to do everything I fuss about today. The time he would be able to overcome what I am worrying now and there will be so much more to worry about. 

Then I asked my self, again, why couldn’t I just enjoy the now moment? Now is way simpler than the future.

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