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In one of those days

One night, Titan was excitedly played with his new Mercedes coach bus I bought him that day. It was about seven o'clock he hadn't got his dinner.
"Titan, it's dinner time. Let me prepare your dinner, okay?"
"Yes, checked!" He said.

Titan is still on the early stage of being bilingual, and he is a visual-oriented type of kid. A checked mark sign means okay for him, therefore he sometimes says "Checked" as in the meaning of "Okay".

Then I started to prepare his meal. Tonight's menu is chicken soup and tofu croquette. Oh, I got starving as well. But it is a big no no for me to feed and eat at the same time for I would lose my appetite. But oh la la, soon as I finished preparing the meal, Titan suddenly said "Titan maunya scramble eggs aja. With cheese."
Listened to what he said, I was very upset. I felt a bit tired that night and Titan needed to respect all kind of foods his mother prepared, I guess.

"I have cooked for you and I am tired. Go cook your own scramble eggs."

"Enggak bisa, tangannya Titan kan kecil dan Titan belum tinggi kompornya enggak keliatan."

"Okay, then you should eat what Bunda cooked for you. Look, there is nothing wrong with your meal."

"Tapi maunya scramble eggs aja."

Sigh. I really do not know what I have to say when he said "I want ... (fill in the blank)" and I should be glad, at least for a 4 years old kid Titan is very outspoken to tell what he likes and what he doesn't like. Yes, that would included saying "Bunda, I don't like your outfit." or "Bunda, Titan mau sekolah musik" and he is pretty consistent of his choices.
Hearing what he said, there popped out my tricky mind of being a mother.

"Just check the fridge, can you find any egg?" I asked him.
Titan went to the fridge and checked for some eggs I previously hid in the upper box he could not reach.

"Kok enggak ada telur?" He confused.

"Yes, we are running out of eggs and I am running out of money because I used the money to buy the Mercedes coach bus. But I do have this chicken soup and tofu croquette which taste better than scramble eggs."

Titan's face was thinking. Hard.Then he finally gave up.

"Aaaaaaa..." He opened up his mouth and ate his meal.

Oh, I feel relieved and bad at the same time. Relieved because finally all the vegetables got into his tummy, but I did feel bad because I was very tricky. Sorry, Malicca :D, ... Boonda was being bad that night.

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love is love. marriage is another thing.

of all the things I ever wondered, ... I think I never wonder whom my kids will be married to. or to picture myself holding grand babies. not just a not yet, I think it is simply too hard to bear and too absurd to think of. but then I promise myself. I promise I will not ever push titan and luna to get married or even if they are married; I will not ask them when to have kids.

many times I wondered that marriage is overrated. and the only reason to get married is not love, but to realise life is too hard to bear when you are all alone. because, however, marriage is a conditional love. hubby once said, marriage is not all fancy and glitter. the lowest it can get is, to keep functioning and it will survive. how both parties can be functional one to another, is another story.

to ariawan, a guy of mine,
the one who always wake me up from my princessy dreams. love you.



Three hours late.

2 AM and I stepped in to the house. Hubby was waiting for me. This was not the first time, and not the latest hour I had ever experienced with over time.

"See you soon Bunda. Or at 8, or at 9, or at 10, or at 11 like you said you would be late." Said my son.

I smiled as I entered the house. I smelled home. I saw my beautiful mess. As I picked up some toys on the floor, I imagined what games the kids had played today. There was a drawing, mini ceramics pots, not too chaotic for kids who were left with nini and aki without nannies.

I also saw their time tables, with some check marks on the list. Those that they weren't checked was the responsibility to wash their own dishes. I saw some dirty cups piling up. I saw the microwave's door left half-opened, a baking sheet and a knife. I wonder what they have cooked.
I also saw minecraft was in active window and some search on youtube and google.

Getting home in this hour and not seeing their faces but seeing all the mess the…

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