Wednesday, May 05, 2010
My invisible spine
Me and my mom are on the left side of the photo.
I think this is when i was about 9 years old.
To tell you the truth, my mom is a person who shed the least tears over me. She sheds tears over many things, but yeah … she shed least tears for me; her one and only daughter as well as her youngest child.
She did not cry when I married. But I did.
She did not cry when I was dying (*ha! A hyperbolic term) giving birth to Titan. But I did.
She did not even bother to cry when I gave her all of my first salary when I was twenty one. But I did.
I made my first poem for her on the mother’s day when I was five. And I was too embarrassed to give the poem myself. So, I just put it on my mom’s drawer and took a peep. She found out. She opened the envelope, read the poem, put it back into the drawer and said nothing. I was the one who cried that day.
Once in my childhood, I was very angry. And I yelled at my mom “I want to leave this house!” and my mom calmly said “If it is what you want, then just go.” I was very surprised listened to what she said. And to buy more time, I asked her to help me to break my piggy bank. But she rejected to help me. She said “If you want some money, I will give you but don’t break the piggy bank.” Aha! I got the reason to stay, I mumbled to myself. Then I threw tantrums over the piggy bank instead.
And I can still remember when my mom and dad left us for a month. And she handled me the money for all the things we needed, and I was about eleven years old. While my biggest brother was … eighteen! I thought that she was unfair!
Many times I got cried because my brothers teased me over and over. As I reached my mom for a help, she would just say “Which part of you that is hurt?” and I said “Nothing”. And she replied “Then do not cry. Tease them back. A girl has to have a ‘meat’ mentality. I don’t take ‘tofu’ ones.”
And I remember when I was about eight years old. There was no maid at that time, and I was having my exam week. I saw that she was frustrated and tired, but I did not do anything to help her but studying. And she mad at me. But then I replied, “What do you want me to do?! You said you wanted me to study!” And I could perfectly remember that she just stood still and stared at me. Then she knelt down and hugged me. And she looked at my eyes and said “I am sorry.” She did not cry at all,… but I did.
My mom was very tough on me, her one and only daughter. She taught me how to be strong and family’s happiness is way beyond her own happiness that might have long forgotten. She is a great mother. Her hugs and words that give me strength.
Now, I am also a mother. And now it is my mom’s turn to cry a lot over silly simple things, just like I did. But thankfully she has made me tougher than before: I don’t shed a tear in front of her.
Thank you, Mom!
Oh yeah, I remember now. She did last cry over me was about ten years ago, when I called her to tell that I have graduated my academy.
at May 05, 2010
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