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Trust.

Never I thought a trust that should be applied to children going to be this big. Not only trust in what they tell us, but more of how we can trust them on things they do not know as well. To believe in the options they make in life. To believe how their body heals and how their emotion to cope things. To believe they will survive with their potentials.

For example, when luna got sick. Many times, I did not believe in her body. To me, lab result is the ultimate thing I can count on. Simply because it is visible and accountable. I ignored how she managed to stay cheerful during high fever; that indicated she was actually doing fine and I did not need to worry much.

And I have learnt that trusting our children is damn hard. Specially in their early years before they reach teenage years. Because somehow, a mother just have that kind of hunch about their kids. The good hunch, and the bad one.

What makes it hard for me to trust them is; when I realize that they might not grow to be someone we imagine, and I get worry. Or when they have preferences that we do not related with, and I will feel uncomfortable. And when they grow bigger and taller and we need to trust the life options they make.

Each day after I think of this trust issue, I spent more and more time to ask myself how deep I have the trust for Titan and La Luna. It got me thinking, though. I still have a loooong way to prepare them to become someone who I can trust their life.


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