Friday, July 31, 2015

my own kind

how long has my kid gone to school? probably four and a half years. titan did not really attend a pre-school or other pre-kindie program. he was too busy at home playing with his grandpa from climbing a tree, feeding the pets or ride a bike. He started on tk kecil when he was 4 and moved to elementary school when he was 5 (in highscope, elementary starts on kindergarten).

along his journey, as far as i remember, never at once i made such a bff relationship with other parents. until this year on grade 2. when did we get together? never from small talks. we started it for a support system of a worsen condition that day and we just clicked. we both have the same son and daughter of the same age.

it has been a while since i last have chat with my own kind. i miss those nitty gritty running the house, talking about schools and courses, daily menus, chats about how we are not slim anymore where wrinkles and fatbelly have become our jewelleries that make us happy. those chats that no longer about ourselves, handsome guys or wanting more physical belongings. chats about future and how to make a better future through our children. chats about their happiness. because we know when they are happy and so are we.

those chats were not only today when i had a playdate with brit and hikaru. i also had a luxurious two days playdate with femmy who reminded me there are another sky above the sky and there are more mud below the land i am stepping on. she reminded me about the dream we have and we always had that waits to be made. and i also had the luxurious chat with a mother i always look up to. she did another great thing lately: to let his son released his choice in medical faculty of ugm and decided to join a flying academy instead.

yeah, i need more dose of them. meeting my own kind.
it grows me.





Thursday, July 30, 2015

selamat datang kelas tiga!

enggak terasa si bocah udah naik ke kelas tiga. selama liburan kemarin, iya liburan yang 6 minggu itu, kita bikin kesepakatan-kesepakatan baru. quite big leaps, i guess.

issue pertama adalah matematika. subject dimana titan dan beberapa temennya harus dapat remedial untuk pelajaran yang satu ini. tahun kemarin titan memang dapet guru yang agak akademis banget. tapi untungnya juga baik hati banget yang mau ngasih kelas tambahan tanpa pungutan biaya. suka bagi makanan pula. tahun ini, belum tentu dapat guru yang sama sementara kebutuhan mempertajam logika matematika masih sama. so, ... kesepakatan pertama: ikut kumon.

dulu, suka ngetawain orang tua yang ambisius banget masukin anak-anaknya ke kumon. bayangan saya, mereka pengen banget punya anak-anak yang jago berhitung di luar kepala. tambah-tambahan, kali-kalian, memecah desimal dan ahli bilangan pecahan.

kasihan anaknya. pikir saya selama ini.

tapi hari ini. iya, hari ini. akhirnya saya mendaftarkan titan ke kumon *sound efek geledek di udara*
tentunya, sekali lagi, dengan persetujuan si anak. kumon ini rela diambil titan karena selain memang butuh tapi dia juga minta kumonnya diseimbangkan dengan ikutan art class with hadiprana di sekolah. after a deep thought yang juga diiringi dengan penghitungan mendalam soal dompet, ... "yaaa okelah." kata saya.

sebenernya udah lama saya 'beriklan' tentang les matematika ala jepang ini. tapi baru kali ini iklan saya mau dicoba. iya, dicoba. belum tentu jadi loyal customer. padahal ibunya dua belas tahun di dunia iklan *sound efek penonton ketawa*

saya selalu beranggapan bahwa yang namanya les itu harusnya untuk mempertajam apa yang sudah bagus. dalam hal ini, kemampuan bahasa inggris titan jauh lebih baik daripada kemampuan matematikanya. tapi sebaliknya, saya rasa ini juga momen yang tepat untuk mendorong kemampuan matematikanya itu karena rupanya titan juga mulai merasakan kebutuhan untuk perform lebih baik di bidang matematika. keputusan saya makin kuat saat saya ajak dia untuk placement test. saat gurunya bertanya "kenapa baru kumon sekarang?" titan menjawab "karena titan baru siap sekarang."

lega banget dengernya. dia mengerti kendala dia selama ini, mengerti perasaan dia terhadap matematika dan berani mengambil keputusan hari ini.

trus, apa alasan saya mengambil langkah mainstream ini?

sebenernya jawabannya simpel. supaya titan disiplin berlatih. karena matematika itu masalah latihan, kok. dan disiplin adalah issue kita selama ini. kadang saya berpendapat sekolahnya terlalu loose, di satu sisi anak-anak terlalu dibebaskan untuk hal yang harusnya bisa didisiplinkan. dan kalau ibunya yang bertindak untuk melatih dia belajar matematika, selain anaknya juga suka kabur-kaburan ibunya juga (seringnya) capek ngejar-ngejar. akhirnya situasi jadi memanas, ibu jadi kesal anak pun tegang. walhasil pembelajaran jadi percuma. disitulah saya mulai berpikir bahwa saya dan titan butuh pihak lain yang memang expert di bidangnya.

sometimes a mother doesn't have to be everything.

lagian, setelah saya pikir-pikir, kumon juga ada bagusnya. bukan masalah kontennya. tapi sistemnya. enggak ada klasifikasi kelas dan bukan dengan metode guru menjelaskan di papan tulis, tapi ngerjain masing-masing level sesuai kemampuan masing-masing. belajar fokus karena harus mengerjakan sesuai tenggat waktu. enggak perlu menghafal, tapi karena sering melihat angkanya dan bolak-balik dikasih hal yang sama; pasti ada yang nempel. alah bisa karena biasa.

untuk art class, titan masih bingung mau ikut acrylic painting atau drawing with crayon. awalnya dia mau ikutan crayon, karena menurutnya gambarnya pengen lebih bagus lagi dan lebih variatif lagi topiknya. sementara, kalau melukis kan sering dilakukan di rumah. tapi entah kenapa hari ini tiba-tiba dia pengen gabung melukis acrylic.

issue berikutnya adalah physical education. lucu deh, dengan gayanya dia bercerita bahwa dia punya issue berat dengan pelajaran yang satu ini. "titan tuh bermasalah banget sama PE. kalau lari, enggak bisa bener larinya karena sepatunya kendor. harus dibetulin terus tapi strapnya enggak bisa kenceng." saya senyum-senyum. kesempatan yang baik untuk 'jualan' berlatih mengikat.
"kalau begitu, sudah waktunya titan pakai sepatu sport yang diikat. karena kalau diikat itu pasti lebih kencang. coba, kalau titan ice skating enggak ada kan sepatu yang pake velcro strap? semuanya diiket. nah, itu tuh supaya kenceng. tahun ini kita beli sepatu yang proper ya, dan titan musti belajar ngiket tali sepatu sendiri." lalu titan mengangguk yakin. dan ternyata, hanya dalam semalam dia sudah bisa menguasai cara mengikat tali sepatu sendiri. dia seneng banget! saya juga sih.

BIG YEAY banget untuk mengawali tahun ajaran baru kali ini:
bisa ngiket tali sepatu sendiri dan memutuskan untuk les kumon.

oh noooooo, tetiba bundanya mellow. anakku udah gede.

selamat datang kelas tiga! bismillah.







it was gonna be like ... who's turn?

i remember a friend posted a question "isn't going to a carwash supposedly become a duty of a husband?" with a pin pointed on a famous carwash in the south of jakarta.

who would have thought, within a few months it is now her husband's job to remember everything about running the house. i mean like ... every single thing. from the checking out the groceries what's in or out of stock, kid's tuition, staff's needs and salaries, pay all the bills within their due dates to the very small thing like remember when to buy the face powder for his wife. because now the wife is sick and cannot run the house for quite some times.

yes.
how many times, we; the housewife, think that we have done much compare to our husband.
how many times, we; the housewife, think that we deserve lesser job lists and more rest (read: more me time) compare to our husband.

these days the jobs of a wife and a husband has become overlapping. i have a friend who has become a housedad and let his wife become the bread winner. i see them running it smoothly. the wife climbs the corporate ladder in no time and the husband can always finds new ideas to get their son have a shower. drop and pick him to school and have a chat with other parents at school. cut his nails, wrap his books, cook his foods, basically what a wife do it is just he is a husband.

just like a show, the house needs to run no matter what. why don't we stop asking who's gonna do this and who's gonna do that and separate jobs from his and hers?  it is so yesterday. now is, who got the time to do them then just do. we started this family, we are in this together.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

revolusi setengah hati

ini bukan soal perang. tapi, soal memisahkan cinta dua pihak yang amat sangat saling mencinta dan telah lama memadu kasih dalam bentuk kegiatan yang mengasyikkan bagi keduanya: nenen! bagai candu, pernenenan ini dinikmati banget oleh si pelaku dan yang dipernenenkan.

awalnya, pengen benar-benar weaning with love tanpa batas waktu. toh aku sama luna masih sama-sama menikmati. tapi kenyataan berkata lain. aku harus segera menyapih luna karena ada kemungkinan harus pergi ke luar kota untuk waktu yang agak lama.

enggak pernah ada tenggat waktu yang jelas kapan benar-benar ingin memulai. sampai pada suatu waktu, luna selalu muntah kalau habis nenen. aneh. enggak tahu juga sebabnya kenapa. bahkan dikasih obat penawar rasa mual paling ampuh pun dia tetap saja muntah.

ok, mungkin ini saatnya harus menyapih. batin saya saat itu.

dua hari berhasil. luna juga mengerti kalau setiap kali dia nenen, pasti berujung muntah. rasa kemeng-kemeng di payudara pun akhirnya berkurang setelah saya perah. sedih juga sih harus buang-buang asi, padahal masih banyak bayi yang butuh asi. tapi kalau anak sendiri aja muntah-muntah, apa iya harus didonor ke anak lain? ya enggak kan yaaaaaa.

di hari ke tiga, tiba-tiba luna mengamuk sejadi-jadinya. sakaw nenen. saya baru liat juga nih dia kalo udah ngamuk kaya gitu. menyeramkanlah pokoknya. mana tenaganya kuat banget. digendong dan dipeluk-peluk pun dia melonjak-lonjak dan meronta-ronta. lelah sekali saya dibuatnya.

demikian lelahnya sehingga tiba-tiba saya tertidur. dan saat terbangun, saya mendapati luna lagi asyik nenen. yaaaaaaah, kecolongan! mau saya lepas, dia lagi asyik merem-melek ngantuk-ngantuk nikmat. tiba-tiba ingat lagi saat-saat awal kita berkenalan lewat payudara di detik-detik awal luna menghirup hidup. dalam setiap hisapan, setiap kecupan, setiap dekapan. menenangkan dan menghangatkan.

trus luna pun tertidur. pulas sekali. bangun-bangun enggak ada tanda-tanda dia bakal muntah.
and that's it. dia enggak percaya lagi dibilang nenen itu bikin muntah. karena sudah terbukti, dia nenen dan enggak kejadian apa-apa.

trus dia minta nenen lagi. lagi. lagi lagi lagi lagi lagi lagi lagi dan lagi.
dan saya juga ladeni aja. karena memang sama-sama menyenangkan. membahagiakan. menghangatkan hati.

gitu deh. revolusi setengah hati.
trus gimana dong nanti luna kalau ditinggal? yaaaa ... lihat aja nanti. mudah-mudahan kalau enggak liat botol susu besarnya ini dia enggak inget-inget pengen nenen.

amiiiiiiiin!

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

as the moon is fading out

this ramadhan, was the only ramadhan i hardly catched up with.
i feel so ... so sad, since i still have my mom and dad here for sahur and breakfasting, and i did not appreciate the bless. i only had two family breakfasting in total. i mean 'real' breakfasting when we all sat together, had the long pray and enjoyed the meal with all our heart.
the rest, are just compulsory.

dad would most likely break his fasting in hurry because he needed to go to the mosque. hubby was still in the office most of the times. mom got super tired and her appetite to breakfasting had already running out as she cooked the meal the whole day. so the adult was only me, with an empty heart.

too bad.

i started the ramadhan with a meeting with the client that left me dizzy the whole day and made me vomit just in time: twenty minutes before the breakfasting time *lol* it has been a while since i had to stand in the sun (i rode ojek) while fasting, and maybe i am just simply too old for jakarta's traffic.
luckily the meeting went well and gave me a little hope of something new.

few days later, i got typhoid. four days later after i got infected, titan got infected too. the day after was my mom, and a few days later was luna. i felt super exhausted to take care of my own and my children. poor my mom i could not take care of her. poor luna, since i got busy taking care of titan and mom got sick as well, nobody took care of her and she got sick too.

the third week of the ramadhan was filled with the obligation of finishing the hampers project for bebikinan. titan was so very kind, he helped me out. now he can assist me from measuring the ingredients to stirring the caramel. BIG YEAY! i never know where this small business will go to, but we expand our effort and possibilities wider and wider as it goes. because i know, god has everything written and for the time being this is the best we can do and i am so grateful.

the fourth week of ramadhan was filled with hampers delivery (yeap, the most frustrating part), did some paperwork and last but not least, preparing luna's birthday! YEAAAAAAAY!

my girl is not a toddler anymore! she is now in the phase of 'the terrible two' ... oh how i wish the phase won't be terrible at all. but yes, she threw tantrums a lot these days and i must tell you that

IT.WAS. TERRIBLE.

she hit, she screams, she rolled on the floor and i was not used to deal with this kind of child. she was so strong this could last for two hours. the weaning project was a total failure because when i managed myself to wean her for two days (yes i almost happy to the max), she threw the biggest tantrums on the third day and left me drained. i was super tired i got slept (while she was still crying and nagging) and found out she was breastfeeding without my notice as i woke up.

i felt stupid and hillarious *lol*
and so, she got back to breastfeeding up 'till now *la ... lala ... la .. laaaaa*

as she turns two, i also noticed a little change that luna enjoys playing with her dad more than she plays with me. maybe because she got the indisputable boredom phase looking at my face and the this and that rules hahaha. hence, this gave me a slight slot of time to read a book or play more often with titan or simply enjoy myself when i take shower.

more about luna will be on the separate post, i promise you.

so here i am now, on the last day of ramadhan and having period, wishing you a wonderful long holiday and a forgiveness for any mistake and misleaded thoughts on this blog. have a joyful moments with your family. me myself, will try to refill my heart little by little with all the happy thoughts.

assalamu'alaikum :)

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