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many things happened before april and they got me thinking and rethinking about love, motherhood, about being a better child and how to raise better children. about how i would survive my retire years. about how to survive marriage. about understanding a man deeply. about friendship. about illness that can attack us at anytime.

now i am a step closer to forty than to thirty, ... how does it feel?

well, ... i feel old obviously. i might have spent half of my life living.
i feel worry too, because i might have done less good deeds compare to the bad ones.
i feel lucky to have my parents congratulated and hugged me at early morning.
i feel blessed to have a loving hubby, lovable children and managed myself to finally enjoy (after one and a half year) my role as a stay at home mother.

i was raised like a champion breed and treated like a princess for being the only daughter to my parents. i had my worst time being depressed at school, i had my years as champion in college and working life. i had my broken marriage. i rebuild a family with a guy deserted me once. a best friend left me without saying goodbye. i failed a 26 hours contraction. i am a mother of two. i quit my job. i don't think i need anything more.

whatever happens, my plate will cater the same portion and will always do. it is just my skill that needs to be sharpen to make them balance ... and eatable.

chew life. be grateful. happy birthday, me.

- thank you la luna, for being a constant reminder that i am raising a better me - 

- thank you titan, for being my possible hero - 


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