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The last day of 2014

i am not the kind of person who make new year's resolution. maybe because i know those would only be plans. maybe because i have learnt, that if you want something; you would have did it already.

i am the kind of person who prefer to reflect, or make reviews of what i have gone through.
like today, the last day of the year 2014.

two thousand and fourteen has been generous. it gives me experience being a full-time mom. it has been luxurious, though i struggled for quite sometimes. now i can enjoy it better. i start to have the acceptance of me not being updated or less exposed with news. i start to accept the single income situation and have become the expert of cutting off budgets and wish-lists.

when you don't know, things are much simpler. 

two thousand and fourteen has been a detour of my parenting style. has been a not-so-cool mom , because i have just realised there are so many things i have missed in nurturing and growing titan and la luna yet i tried to catch up within a short period of time.

and it was not good. 

about chances, two thousand and fourteen has given me the chance to achieve what every mothers in the world dream of: working in pajamas. i also had the chance to start my own small home industry, and it has been a great growth.

dream comes true? or dreams are about to be made?

about time, two thousand and fourteen gave me a major turn-over about the time for myself. the time to browse internet, to have a long-hour lunches, long-chat with strangers and close friends; the time i had been having for 34 years. last year i learnt to surrender myself to pieces. to listen and do things at the same time. saying the same thing over and over, almost every day, almost every hour. i miss me, to be honest. but me is what i have for the rest of my life.

worry, i should not. there is time for everything.  

two thousand and fourteen was also the year of thorough contemplation and what-if wonders about retirement. twenty years from now will not be a long time, and i have not prepared it. thus, these topic links back to the parenting detour: that i don't want to create hassles for my kids during my old days. i want to be independent with independent income, and so i can enjoy my retirement and my children can enjoy their time building their own families and their personal agendas.

amien to that. 

so yes,
i hope 2014 has brought you good too and i am sure the best are yet to come in 2015.
happy new year!

The last sunrise of 2014, taken from titan's window. 


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