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Mom, woman and wife


What else that is missing in your life? Someone once asked a woman while seeing her sad look. 
“What else I have not done?” She asked him back.


A simple milk spill on the table can be a big reason for mom to get mad.
A stupid question from a little mouth like “why?” can be a massive trigger for mommy to start a world war with the weakest creature on earth who will not fight mommy back: kids, and they have become the victim.

Maybe the question is not on what has been missing, but on a thing that is always wanted and wished to always exist.

Moms have that biological clock to wake up and get everyone ready for their activities.  Moms have (and always need to have) those new ideas to keep everyone’s mood in moderate level. Moms have those sudden driving skills when the clock is ticking for school bell and morning meetings with clients. Moms have that extra storage in her brain to remember schedules, tests, homework, what’s running out in the kitchen, bills. Moms also have that big heart to keep dreaming though she was hurt for several times; yet she keeps dreaming and the dreams are not for her.

Moms are also wifeys, who always want that intimate conversation. No, not that kind of chats we already know the answers.

We, moms, are women and we know we are strong.
But how stronger do you wish for us to be? 

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love is love. marriage is another thing.

of all the things I ever wondered, ... I think I never wonder whom my kids will be married to. or to picture myself holding grand babies. not just a not yet, I think it is simply too hard to bear and too absurd to think of. but then I promise myself. I promise I will not ever push titan and luna to get married or even if they are married; I will not ask them when to have kids.

many times I wondered that marriage is overrated. and the only reason to get married is not love, but to realise life is too hard to bear when you are all alone. because, however, marriage is a conditional love. hubby once said, marriage is not all fancy and glitter. the lowest it can get is, to keep functioning and it will survive. how both parties can be functional one to another, is another story.

to ariawan, a guy of mine,
the one who always wake me up from my princessy dreams. love you.



Three hours late.

2 AM and I stepped in to the house. Hubby was waiting for me. This was not the first time, and not the latest hour I had ever experienced with over time.

"See you soon Bunda. Or at 8, or at 9, or at 10, or at 11 like you said you would be late." Said my son.

I smiled as I entered the house. I smelled home. I saw my beautiful mess. As I picked up some toys on the floor, I imagined what games the kids had played today. There was a drawing, mini ceramics pots, not too chaotic for kids who were left with nini and aki without nannies.

I also saw their time tables, with some check marks on the list. Those that they weren't checked was the responsibility to wash their own dishes. I saw some dirty cups piling up. I saw the microwave's door left half-opened, a baking sheet and a knife. I wonder what they have cooked.
I also saw minecraft was in active window and some search on youtube and google.

Getting home in this hour and not seeing their faces but seeing all the mess the…

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