Monday, July 30, 2012

A new habit

I have this new habit every time I dropped off Malicca to school, or picked him up.
I watched him play with his friends, which is a luxury thing I had never experienced before.
Seeing how he interacts with his friends, his problem solving, when he leads, basically his social skill which is very important specially when he is working later on.

Have a nice day, son!



Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Confession of a now working mother then a full-time housewife

Whether it is a syndrome or not, I do not know. 


Today is my third week being a full-time house wife, yet my verdict on my first week has not change. That being a full-time house wife requires more than 24 hours a day because they are so much things to do. Thus, made me a little bit 'jet-lag' in the first place. I might still am.


Do you know what I had in mind before I decided to quit my job?I wanted to be a full-time mother and have a simpler life. I wanted to go freelancing and work anyway and whenever I like.  It turns out that things are not as easy as I thought they were. 


Now I realize that by being a full-time working mother, I had a so much simpler life. Every time I woke up in the morning, I already know what I had to do. Like a machine (in a positive sense), I had time slots for everything I had to do and controlled them. I dropped my kid to school, went to the office, worked, had lunch, had meetings and went back home. I cannot deny they were  numerous 'me-time' timing in between the slots therefore I could tweet, I could read a book, I could browse, I could stop-by to a near store and bought (many times) unimportant stuffs, I even had more time to update my blog.


Why simpler? because I saw what I saw, and what I saw was me.


I made menus for Titan's lunch and handed over to the caregiver at home (which was my mom) and there went off one of my worries that day. I dropped my kid to school and handed over to the teacher. Once again, there poof one of my obligations that day. Unless I had a call from my son or regarding my son or parents, I assumed everything was okay and continued my life that day and drowned with piles of jobs and colleagues and personal plans for the day. When I got home, the timing was not enough if I demanded everyone to pack every details in the form of 'The story of the day' and we all chose to have a little chat or light games or watched movie and we went to sleep. A discussion required for serious matters, and nothing was so serious unless it had to do with health, career or big family members. 


I knew I only had 24 hours. When the time slots filled and  today's checklists were checked, I gained the peacefulness of the day. 


Now,  I see everything what I left behind if I went to work back then. In details. But I cannot see them with professional point of view like how I used to see things at work.  


I see my son's face expression if he has to go to school. I see his face when I pick him up. I see dust on the top of the table and bread crumbs on the carpet. I see my elderly. I see the fading out paint on the wall. I see the dirty laundry. I think of menus to cook. I see my piles of to-be-read books. I see teary eyes of my son's because of his school friends. I see the weed wildly grows in the back yard. I see the pets need food and drink. 


I hardly see me. I see many things to do and many things I can do, and I know 24 hours is not enough. 


Back to my hypothesis of having a simpler life by becoming a full-time house wife, yet I get the antithesis. 


How can you expect emotion will be simpler than your professionalism? And life, is never simpler when you see other things compare to when you see yourself (and this thought leads me to another question - why we often see our self in the most delicate way - But I will not talk about this on this post). 


Anyways, to me, being a full-time working mother or being a full-time house wife; no one is better than the others. It is just a choice you can make, just like any other choices in your life. I




My weekdays after advertising life, so far. 

Friday, July 06, 2012

Welcome definitely maybe!



“Leaving your comfort zone is not easy and it is only for the bravery.” For me, those who support them to leave the comfort zone, is even braver.”

Setelah hampir 12 tahun bekerja di dunia korporat periklanan, finally… yes I finally resigned and decided to be a freelance copywriter instead. Sebenarnya kepinginnya sih udah sejak dua tahun lalu ya. Tapi karena beribu dan lain hal termasuk ketidakberanian diri ini untuk memasuki lembah ketidakpastian finansial, akhirnya tertunda-tunda. Tapi kali ini, I made up my mind.

Aneh sebenarnya saat aku mengambil keputusan ini. Unlikely what I always did, to make plans, kali ini aku ambil keputusan tanpa punya long term plan akan apa yang akan aku lakukan setelah kehidupan bekerja full time. Yang aku tahu saat itu adalah, aku sebaiknya berhenti dulu bekerja.

Sebenarnya, keputusan ini juga enggak yakin-yakin banget waktu memutuskannya. Tentu faktor utamanya adalah kemandirian finansial. Ya iyalah ya, udah lebih dari satu dekade terbiasa  menerima uang gaji. Terbiasa punya plan dan merasa aman karena tahu saat uang habis, pundi akan terisi kembali. But in the freelancing world, everything is uncertain. That is the part that worried me much. Secara ya bo, buat perempuan yang penting itu kan kepastian. Kepastian tuh cowok sayang sama kita atau enggak. Kepastian bakal dikawinin apa enggak (aih, curcol deh ah hahaha), yang pasti sih kepastian supaya bisa manage expectation. Karena kuciwa itu aduh ampuuuuun… berat sekali rasanya.

Untungnya, aku didukung penuh akan keputusanku ini. Dan menurutku, itulah bagian terpenting saat kita mau ambil langkah penting dalam hidup. Sebenernya bukan hanya keberanian dari diri, tapi juga dukungan. Dan orang yang mendukung, buat aku jauh lebih berani daripada orang yang didukung.

Banyak yang tanya sama aku “So, whats the push button?” Hmmm, sebenarnya karena niatan itu sudah ada di dalam diri sejak lama. Cuma butuh pemantik untuk menyulut. Dan pemantik itu adalah satelitku (oh so very typical ya hehehe…) But trust me, it was not as easy as you thought. Segala sesuatu yang klise itu emang jatuhnya lebih sulit buat yang ngalamin dan lebih sederhana bagi yang melihatnya.

Triggernya adalah karena Titan entah kenapa enggak suka dengan sekolahnya. Akibatnya, dia jadi enggak suka sekolah dan enggak suka yang namanya belajar. Udah gitu, makannya juga makin susah sampe akhirnya berat badannya enggak nambah-nambah. Beberapa waktu terakhir ini aku coba untuk ngajak belajar terutama baca dan berhitung. Ndelalahnya, apa yang aku ajarin justru lebih masuk dan dia lebih suka belajar sama bundanya ini ketimbang belajar di sekolah. Trus kadang di weekend pun kita masak bareng dan ternyata dia lebih lahap kalau makanannya disiapin bareng-bareng. Dari situ aku berpikir bahwa mungkin anak ini bukannya enggak suka belajar dan enggak suka makan, tapi memang enggak banyak orang yang memahami cara dia belajar dan makan.

Selain itu, ada juga sih hal-hal yang bikin tekadku makin bulat untuk berhenti dari dunia korporat. Tapi rahasia dong aaaaaah J

One thing for sure, I pre-conditioned myself that I will not be a jobless housewife. I am a work from home mother. I will have working hours and I have to create something within the hours, be it freelancing jobs or writing.

So yes, this is my last day working in a corporate advertising and I am sad yet happy yet anxious yet overwhelm… it is a Berty Bott’s three flavor taste candy. What would happen next? I do not know. What if I fail? What if I not. Will I be back to corporate life someday? Maybe. Will I be happier? Maybe. Uh oh, ... just wish me luck!






Monday, July 02, 2012

Common Sense


Sekarang ini, kita mungkin lebih tau gimana cara install iPhone pertama kali. Lebih ngerti langkah-langkah untuk nge-jailbreak. Lebih pengen ngulik gimana caranya bikin website sendiri dengan semua Content Managementnya. Lebih tau account twitter siapa yang bisa kasih link bagus atau update tentang pergadgetan, info selebs, komunitas tertentu atau bahkan soal financial planning dan hukum.

Thanks to technology, we now know so many many things happening in this world.

Tapi coba deh, dirasa-rasa lagi. Karena begitu banyaknya ‘ilmu’ atau sebenernya itu adalah bentuk informasi, seringkali kita malah jadi lupa sama hal-hal basic atau yang biasa disebut common sense. Dan ternyata, common sense yang sering kita lupain itu justru kita perluin untuk kehidupan sehari-hari.

Misalnya, waktu kita ke dokter. Kita tau lah ya, enggak semua dokter itu bagus.  Dan kita juga tau, enggak semua dokter itu komunikatif; bisa dan mau ngejelasin sedetil-detilnya tentang penyakit kita. Kadang-kadang kita nurut aja kalo dikasih obat. Atau bahkan percaya-percaya aja ketika kita divonis satu penyakit dan salah satu tindakan yang harus kita lakukan adalah operasi.

Sebenernya, untuk jadi pasien kritis dan pinter salah satunya bisa dengan kembali ke common sense yang udah dibekali sama guru-guru kita dulu melalui pelajaran-pelajaran yang mereka ajarin.

Misalnya, virus itu enggak bisa mati dan enggak bisa diobatin sama antibiotik. Antibiotik cuma bisa ngebunuh bakteri. Terus misalnya lagi dengan mengenal berbagai sistem di dalam tubuh kita. Ada sistem pernafasan, ada sistem pencernaan, ada sistem reproduksi, yang semuanya bekerja dengan sistem masing-masing untuk menyokong kehidupan kita. Jadi, kalau misalnya dokter bilang ada infeksi di mata trus yang harus dioperasi adalah bagian pencernaan, yang mana letak dan fungsinya agak berjauhan, kita bisa mempertanyakan lagi ke dokternya gimana kemungkinan itu bisa terjadi.

Misalnya lagi, common sense soal listrik yang merambat paling cepat melalui air. Itulah kenapa kita harus menjaga supaya ujung colokan itu tetap kering.

Misalnya lagi, kimia asam + kimia basa itu = netral. Jadi kalau misalnya masakan keaseman ya tinggal dikasih garam untuk mengurangi rasa asemnya. Begitu juga sebaliknya. Atau saat asam lambung tinggi, ya jangan ditambah makan yang asem-asem. Minum susu juga enggak akan membantu karena susu lama-lama jadi asam di perut (inget aja yogurt) dan malah bikin perut makin melilit.

Misalnya lagi, kalo ngitung keramik lantai ya berdasarkan luas (panjang dikali lebar) dan kalau ngitung cat rumah ya berdasarkan keliling (2 kali panjang + 2 kali lebar). Boong aja kalo ada abang-abang yang ngitung keramiknya pake itungan keliling.

Masih banyak banget sebenernya hal-hal mendasar ilmu pengetahuan yang simple tapi sifatnya absolut, yang kita sering lupa, tapi sebenernya itu yang bisa jadi bekal supaya kita lebih waspada. Sering banget (termasuk gue) kita ngeles “Tapi gue anak IPS!” hahahaha… coba inget-inget lagi, semua itu kita pelajari waktu SD, lho! Jauh sebelum kita memilih (atau takdir memilihkan) kita masuk jurusan IPA atau IPS :)

Let's cut the crap from the question of Which Mom Are You?

A few years back, social media was being fussy about working mom versus stay at home home. What a nonsense brag! Since I went through ...