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This is my guy

Today, is not the first time my son gave me wild flowers that grow in the yard. He did this before, and the feeling of receiving something from your flesh and blood is amazing. Always amazing. He picked the weed flower himself and gave them to me. After that, he would ask me to put them in the little jar of water.

On another day, when we were about to sleep, he softly stroke my forehead. Exactly the spot in the center of my both eyes and told me to sleep. After that, he would kiss me good night and fell to sleep. 


On another lovely day, he would run across the room to me, bringing his drawing. Most of them were sketches of cars. Sometimes he drew the car in front of the house, under the stormy rain, on its way down the volcano, and sometimes he added me in his sketch. He always put me in skirt with red color. He said I am more beautiful if I wear skirt. Then he asked me to twist myself around like a ballerina and so my skirt would bloom like an umbrella. 

On another busy street or malls, he would held my hand as if he would never let go of me. As if he said "This is my girl, don't mess with her."


In a quite night and nobody but just us, I screamed because of a big spider, or more often, a cockroach. . He would come over and told me things were going to be just fine for I got him. Unless it was not a spider, he would get a sandal and kill the bug.

There were times when I got tense because of him. After saying blatant things and the consequence he must take, I would usually left him for a while. He would stare, just stare at me. Suddenly he hugged me and cried. At that time, I knew he was saying sorry with his own way.

There were also some moments when he accidentally hurt me. "Sorry sorry!" and he would kissed my bruise right away.

Oh well, ... guess I am the luckiest girl to have a man like him. I am so very lucky. And I thank those people who taught my son to treat me like a princess, because I know these things will not happen instantly. He would not  act these out of the blue, because kids are good in mimicking and I always grateful if he mimicked good and sweet things.

I love you Malicca, ... I don't know how would my life be without you.




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love is love. marriage is another thing.

of all the things I ever wondered, ... I think I never wonder whom my kids will be married to. or to picture myself holding grand babies. not just a not yet, I think it is simply too hard to bear and too absurd to think of. but then I promise myself. I promise I will not ever push titan and luna to get married or even if they are married; I will not ask them when to have kids.

many times I wondered that marriage is overrated. and the only reason to get married is not love, but to realise life is too hard to bear when you are all alone. because, however, marriage is a conditional love. hubby once said, marriage is not all fancy and glitter. the lowest it can get is, to keep functioning and it will survive. how both parties can be functional one to another, is another story.

to ariawan, a guy of mine,
the one who always wake me up from my princessy dreams. love you.



Three hours late.

2 AM and I stepped in to the house. Hubby was waiting for me. This was not the first time, and not the latest hour I had ever experienced with over time.

"See you soon Bunda. Or at 8, or at 9, or at 10, or at 11 like you said you would be late." Said my son.

I smiled as I entered the house. I smelled home. I saw my beautiful mess. As I picked up some toys on the floor, I imagined what games the kids had played today. There was a drawing, mini ceramics pots, not too chaotic for kids who were left with nini and aki without nannies.

I also saw their time tables, with some check marks on the list. Those that they weren't checked was the responsibility to wash their own dishes. I saw some dirty cups piling up. I saw the microwave's door left half-opened, a baking sheet and a knife. I wonder what they have cooked.
I also saw minecraft was in active window and some search on youtube and google.

Getting home in this hour and not seeing their faces but seeing all the mess the…

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