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Showing posts from 2012

Malicca, you are my 'malaika'

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Malaikat

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Malaikatku mungkin tidak sepintar manusia seusianya. Ia tidak sempurna, dan seringkali berbuat semau-maunya. Kadang ia berbohong, untuk menutupi kesalahannya. Atau, hanya karena merasa takut kepada manusia-manusia yang lebih besar dan lebih pintar darinya. Kadang, apapun pertanyaan yang diajukan kepadanya; ia menjawab "Tidak tahu." Antara benar-benar tidak tahu atau supaya cepat saja dan tidak ingin berlama-lama ditanya. Tapi malaikatku selalu ada. Ia menemaniku di saat-saat susahku. Di saat-saat sendiriku. Jemarinya yang mungil pernah menghapus air mataku saat ia tak sengaja meleleh di pipiku. Bahkan jiwanya yang berani pernah membela seorang wanita tua yang dihardik oleh kakek. Dan hatinya yang besar, yang tak menyisakan dendam bagaimanapun kami manusia melukainya. Bagi sebagian manusia, hal yang dilakukan malaikatku hanyalah hal yang biasa. Saat ini, aku mengandung lagi di dalam rahimku Dan malaikatku membuktikan sekali lagi bahwa ia

Suddenly...

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There are 9 more rabbits in our house. Oh, well .... You can read the complete story here

Hujan malam ini

Rintik yang meniti detik Titik-titik yang menggenjot tirai malam, Menyelimuti dunia dengan dinginnya Dan menggelitik dengan embunnya, titik demi titik Apa yang paling menyenangkan dari hujan? Untukku, saat bulirnya pertama kali menapak tanah lalu menyerap dan menguap membawa serta bau tanah dan rerumputan. Ingin rasanya mengumpul harumnya dalam botol, menutup lalu mendistilasinya. Akan kuhirup baunya, di suatu saat dimana aku rindu. Waktu kecil, aku senang bermandi hujan. Berlari dan menari di tengahnya dan menengadah sambil memejam. Terasa bulir-bulir menjatuhi muka lalu perlahan menggelosor ke sela kaos dan celana dalam. Dingin. Satu-satunya cara untuk tetap hangat adalah dengan terus bergerak. Tertawa. Berbecek-becek menyiprat-cipratkan lumpur ke sekeliling. Hingga akhirnya mama memanggil dan menyuruhku mandi. Oh, tidak perlu air panas. Satu lagi yang menjadi kesukaanku. Setelah berhujan-hujan, air bak mandi pasti terasa hangat. Lalu kuguyur tubuh kecilku b

Have faith

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Whoever found the phrase "as easy as 1, 2, 3 or a, b, c"... he or she is wrong. Teaching how to write, to read and counting, are not easy. Let alone of the stress when we know other kids in her / his age, already read aloud. But don't ever let them put you in despair. Have a faith, that every kid has their own phase. It took me a big fight with my conservative environment who could not stop asking my son "You are five, can you read yet?" or "Can you count to a hundred?" or "One plus one equals to?" My son being my son, he only shrug his shoulder and leave. My argument those days would be "When he starts reading is not important, what important is what his readings are." Well, you can guess that my argument was not enough. It is the era of child oriented learning based. If we take a mirror and see our reflection, seriously, do you feel satisfied with the way you brought up? the way you learn things at school? do you realize their fut

The book of fourteenth

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Quite draggy, but it was  getting interesting after having it half read. "What makes life is hell and hell is hellish, is expectation."  - Maddy Spencer, 13 y.o, the hell newbie -

Nighttime

The night is so calm. I can only hear the screeching sound of grasshoppers and my rabbit nibbling her last carrot. I am sitting in the backyard, underneath the big mango tree that is delivering its last batch harvest for the year. From in between its branches, I can peep the moon in a funny shape. Beaming its light in the highly polluted vague sky of the city. Nighttime is magical. It is when all the toys in Nutcracker came alive. It is when Cinderella’s golden carriage turned into pumpkin. It is when people dancing or running in their dreams. The night has its own magical language to unveil what was hidden during the sun. I am not a fan boy of zombie. Or Dracula. Or vampires. I am a fan boy of the moon. I am amazed of her devotion in watching people from above. She painted people’s character on the endless landscape of night sky. She goes everywhere we go. She is such a beauty. I love nighttime. For me, nighttime is the best time to write. Just like tonight. My

She makes me laugh

Me: Jadi ya ... Titan udah punya pacar belum? Titan: Dimana? di sekolah yang sekarang? Me: Iya. Titan: Kalau di sekolah yang sekarang, enggak ada. Di sekolah dulu tuh ada. Me: Siapa? Titan: Ada, namanya Putri Yogi. Me: O, ya? Ah, bunda pernah denger sih ... masih ya sama yang itu? Emang kenapa sih suka banget sama Putri Yogi? Titan: She's funny bunda. She makes me laugh. Me: kok bisa? Titan: Iya. Abis Putri kalo pake bedak tuh belepotan mukanya. Jadi lucu. Me: Oalaaaah Titan: Iya, jadinya Titan ketawa kalo ngeliat. Kalau di sekolah yang sekarang, engga ada yang belepotan bedaknya, jadi enggak ada yang bikin Titan ketawa. Me: *Dalam hati* ... ya ampun ... jadi semua orang tuh sama yah. Udah fitrah kalau kita pengen pendamping yang bikin kita bahagia. Makasih ya Titan udah ngajarin Bunda :)

Mango Float

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For another potluck party in the office. And like any other potluck I attended in my previous office,  mango float is my signature.  Peep the recipe here

Black Hole

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Don't let the name fool you. Black hole is anything but the empty space.  It is a super-massive star that goes off, loses its gravity and falls to the end of nowhere.  It sucks everything around it.  It is pitch black, not ever a light can get through.  It wiped off its trace, then it is gone. Have you ever feel being like the dead star? On a one fine day, you suddenly lost your gravity and fall to the deepest ground.  Being sucked and sucks everything around you.  So deep you will lost your breath and falls deeper and deeper and deeper. You go down under to the bottomless you don't know where you are, what to do, what to feel. Fading out. To me, black hole comes in a form of a test pack.

A letter to you

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I named you Malicca. Means you are the greatest gift ever from the Mightiest of all, Allah. I named you  Titan , one of 53 Saturn's moon and the largest. The only thing in the Milky Way that has atmosphere, beside earth. You are the earth in its primordial days, freezed and awaiting to form. In Orphic ways, you are the ancestor of the human race. Zeus struck you with lightning and you burnt to ashes. From the ashes, a man was formed. In a simpler way, you are a hope. From the Almighty. This is my first letter to you, and might be not the only one. This is my first letter after you sent me so many many letters you slipped underneath my door. Your letters with your drawing inside them. With so many heart shapes, your name and my name. In this letter, I want to say you thanks. For everything. For every little power you gave me. For every reasons you made for me to keep going and keep dreaming. When the doctor said you were impossible to happen because of your tiny 14mm egg source, you

A letter to Malicca

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I named you Malicca. Means you are the greatest gift ever from the Mightiest of all, Allah. I named you Titan , one of 53 Saturn's moon and the largest. The only thing in the Milky Way that has atmosphere, beside earth. You are the earth in its primordial days, freezed and awaiting to form. In Orphic ways, you are the ancestor of the human race. Zeus struck you with lightning and you burnt to ashes. From the ashes, a man was formed. In a simpler way, you are a hope. From the Almighty. This is my first letter to you, and might be not the only one. This is my first letter after you sent me so many many letters you slipped underneath my door. Your letters with your drawing inside them. With so many heart shapes, your name and my name. In this letter, I want to say you thanks. For everything. For every little power you gave me. For every reasons you made for me to keep going and keep dreaming. When the doctor said you were impossible to happen because of your tiny 14mm egg sour

Angel

T: Bunda, Titan pengen punya bidadari M: You do have them. They called angels. They are the ones who love you and protect you. T: Protect me from bad people, bunda? M: Yes, they are. T: Oh, I know. M: What? T: You are my angel, Bunda. You love me and protect me from bad people. I love you! M: *teary eyes* A before-dinner conversation between me and my 5 years old satellite 

Heikal told me,

as long as you have the courage to start, as long as you have the power to stop,  all will be ok.

Heikal told me,

as long as you have the courage to start, as long as you have the power to stop,  all will be ok.

To Malicca, about quitting my job

Dear Malicca, There was once you asked me this question. "Bunda, kapan sih bunda berhenti bekerja?" Hmm, it took me a while until I finally answered you. Baby, I am working for a reason. Reasons, to be exact. I am working for you, that is my most and top priority. For my parents, and for me. I want to give you the best education I can afford. And in this country, good education costs a lot of money. And when I am mentioning good education, means not only the system but also the mindset they have to raise children. I want to take you travel the world. I want you to see many things, learnt from various source and meet people. And travel, is not free. I want to help my parents. They are old, they are pension, I want to take care of them. Pay their bills, find them a good maid, i want to give them the best doctor when they got sick one day. And they are not free. And there are so many other things I want to do. I want to paint our house, build a garden and cook the finest foods,

Nenek Cantik

T: Bunda, look! B: I cannot, I am driving. Ada apa sih emangnya? T: Itu, tadi ada nenek-nenek pake baju pink. Rambutnya putih. Putiiih semua. Tapi masih cantik, Nda! Keren, deh! B: O, ya? Wah, kok bisa ya nenek-nenek udah tua tapi masih cantik? T: Sulap kali, Nda! - Malicca umur 5 tahun 5 bulan, Bunda umur 33 tahun 6 bulan, dalam perjalanan pagi menuju sekolah -

Sunday left-overs

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Enjoying my Sunday, dengan sisaan stroberi dan Divortiare. Nice cheeky book :) 

I am a proud mom

Dear Malicca, One night you were being a little jerk, seriously. You were like a whirlwind. You acted harsh to me and Nini, you were being defensive and said no to most of the things I told you. You were not like what you usually were. You were different that night. I wonder what happened. Then I asked you to talk. Amazingly, you understood what I meant. "Let's talk." I have said. And we went in to Nini's bed room and we started to talk. I always amazed with your skill in describing your feelings. You were only five, but I respected how honest you were about your feelings. Then you told me scene by scene about how upset you were when your friends did not reckon what you said to them. Yes, it was Bagas the kid next to our house. You were playing with him when you told him not to hurt himself by playing underneath a truck. Yes, a truck. But he didn't listen. Then you got upset. Then you went off, but deep inside you still wanted to play with him. But you were pissed

The book of eleventh

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I am gladly involved in Read 12 books 2012 with two of my friends @ishtarnayyara and @sarskylicious . I started it late, but I managed to get it finished by October and keep reading. Cause if I don't, I am afraid I might stop reading for another hundred years and it will be even harder to drag my eyes on the lines again. 'Malaikat Jatuh' by Clara Ng was my book of eleventh, and yes; it was the highlight of this project. I bought the book in 2009 (yes, that long!) and I let it sit in dust for more than 2 years (like always... zzzz... zZzzz ). The book was all about mother's love at its best angle, when mother can be so soft and tender yet can be grim and vicious as well. It remains me of myself as a mother and I could not hold my tears when I read its first and last story. The feeling when I read its last page was the same when I read Larung by Ayu Utami. I felt like gasping for minutes and wished there were at least another page to read saying that the story did

Harga diri lelaki

Hari ini panas banget. Matahari lagi sale besar-besaran rupanya. AC udah pol gini, masih aja berasa panasnya menyengat di muka. Mana macet pula. Pipi kanan jadi konstan kena paparan sinar matahari, cocok jadi alas panggangan roti. Tanganku lurus memegang stir. Ngebayangin rasanya nyetir mobil impian yang nangkring di sebelah. Volvo XC70 tahun 2008 * bukan merk sebenarnya *. Blah, tuh mobil udah 4 tahun yang lalu launching, masih aja belom kebeli-beli sampe sekarang. Tapi inilah salah satu hiburanku kalau terhadang macet. Liat kiri-kanan memperhatikan mobil-mobil impian yang lucu. Kadang ternganga-nganga sendiri, lebih seringnya sih senyum-senyum sambil berkata dalam hati “Lucu juga ternyata si mobil itu. Ganti itu aja apa ya… ah tapi sayang ah” – kemudian hening dan tidak ada suatu tindak lanjut apapun. Klasik. Tiba-tiba mataku terpaku pada sebuah sticker di Kopaja. Nah, ini juga salah satu hiburanku nih. Maklum, secara kerjaan jadi copywriter ya Cyin… wajib hu