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Love, ... once again












*smiling ....
Maybe like most arians do, I fall in love everyday
I fall in love with the way my son tickles my back
I fall in love with the sun beams that give a blush on my cheek and boost my day with its warmth
I fall in love with the morning dew, softly touch my tongue as i lick the leaf
I fall in love with the cottony sky
I fall in love with the rain drops and how the wind cares my eyelashes
I fall in love with rainbows, i want to shoot its lovely colors to my veins
I fall in love with my depictions of yours
I fall in love with the feeling you gave me
I fall in love with your whispers; they sing me lullaby and hug me tight all through the night
I fall in love of how you'll never let me go
I fall in love of how you tickle
I fall in love of how you chuckle
I fall in love with the white shadows than enlighten my darkest nightmare
I fall in love every time I open my eyes, and I see you in my heart
I fall in love with the crushing sound of my broken heart; for I have fallen with my version of you 
I fall in love with you my love
I fall in love with love

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Life. Just like what I wanted.

Sounds so snobbish ya, saying life is just like what I wanted. But then I realized, semua itu karena emang aku enggak pengen apa-apa. Sekarang juga (ternyata) masih begitu. Dulu emang I treat my life like a blue print. Things to do piling up my list and my aims were to accomplish them. Alhamdulillah, semua tercapai. Tapi kemudian seperti ada titik tolak dalam hidup yang bikin  berhenti ingin terlalu banyak dari hidup. Entah karena merasa udah cukup banyak pencapaian pribadi baik yang bagus atau yang buruk, entah karena pernah kecewa berat sama yang namanya manusia atau karena alasan klise yang digadang-gadang semua manusia: anak.

Sekarang ini, lebih banyak menyambut apa yang datang ke dalam hidup. Termasuk, kembali ke agency lagi. Having thought that I am not some kind of 'Man in a mission' kind of person. I am just an 'I will do my best' of what comes in front of me kind of person.

Gini ceritanya.

Tiga belas bulan yang lalu, saya memutuskan untuk kembali bekerja setel…

love is love. marriage is another thing.

of all the things I ever wondered, ... I think I never wonder whom my kids will be married to. or to picture myself holding grand babies. not just a not yet, I think it is simply too hard to bear and too absurd to think of. but then I promise myself. I promise I will not ever push titan and luna to get married or even if they are married; I will not ask them when to have kids.

many times I wondered that marriage is overrated. and the only reason to get married is not love, but to realise life is too hard to bear when you are all alone. because, however, marriage is a conditional love. hubby once said, marriage is not all fancy and glitter. the lowest it can get is, to keep functioning and it will survive. how both parties can be functional one to another, is another story.

to ariawan, a guy of mine,
the one who always wake me up from my princessy dreams. love you.



Let's cut the crap from the question of Which Mom Are You?

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