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Love, ... once again












*smiling ....
Maybe like most arians do, I fall in love everyday
I fall in love with the way my son tickles my back
I fall in love with the sun beams that give a blush on my cheek and boost my day with its warmth
I fall in love with the morning dew, softly touch my tongue as i lick the leaf
I fall in love with the cottony sky
I fall in love with the rain drops and how the wind cares my eyelashes
I fall in love with rainbows, i want to shoot its lovely colors to my veins
I fall in love with my depictions of yours
I fall in love with the feeling you gave me
I fall in love with your whispers; they sing me lullaby and hug me tight all through the night
I fall in love of how you'll never let me go
I fall in love of how you tickle
I fall in love of how you chuckle
I fall in love with the white shadows than enlighten my darkest nightmare
I fall in love every time I open my eyes, and I see you in my heart
I fall in love with the crushing sound of my broken heart; for I have fallen with my version of you 
I fall in love with you my love
I fall in love with love

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love is love. marriage is another thing.

of all the things I ever wondered, ... I think I never wonder whom my kids will be married to. or to picture myself holding grand babies. not just a not yet, I think it is simply too hard to bear and too absurd to think of. but then I promise myself. I promise I will not ever push titan and luna to get married or even if they are married; I will not ask them when to have kids.

many times I wondered that marriage is overrated. and the only reason to get married is not love, but to realise life is too hard to bear when you are all alone. because, however, marriage is a conditional love. hubby once said, marriage is not all fancy and glitter. the lowest it can get is, to keep functioning and it will survive. how both parties can be functional one to another, is another story.

to ariawan, a guy of mine,
the one who always wake me up from my princessy dreams. love you.



Three hours late.

2 AM and I stepped in to the house. Hubby was waiting for me. This was not the first time, and not the latest hour I had ever experienced with over time.

"See you soon Bunda. Or at 8, or at 9, or at 10, or at 11 like you said you would be late." Said my son.

I smiled as I entered the house. I smelled home. I saw my beautiful mess. As I picked up some toys on the floor, I imagined what games the kids had played today. There was a drawing, mini ceramics pots, not too chaotic for kids who were left with nini and aki without nannies.

I also saw their time tables, with some check marks on the list. Those that they weren't checked was the responsibility to wash their own dishes. I saw some dirty cups piling up. I saw the microwave's door left half-opened, a baking sheet and a knife. I wonder what they have cooked.
I also saw minecraft was in active window and some search on youtube and google.

Getting home in this hour and not seeing their faces but seeing all the mess the…

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