Skip to main content

when my alter ego speaks upon me.










She says:

"It is okay.

When you do not know what is happening, when you do not know what to do. And when you do know what to do, you know it is something hard to do. A never easy thing has bigger chance to fail, so it is okay for you to be afraid.
And it is okay to feel confuse, because you do not know whether the universe is doing something for you or not. You are very not sure, and that is why you keep questioning.

Do walk, do not run.

Stop running. Do walk. When you are running, your mind, physic and mental are working at the same time. Your body is breathing fast and heavy. Your mind is screaming and screaming only about the destination. You don’t care about beautiful trees and chirping birds surround you. You hardly see small stone that might stumbles you off. You might lose a chance to greet a stranger. You just do not care about what is happening inside your physical body. You ignore your heart beat and the bitter sweats that dehydrate you. You don’t care you got tired. You just want to go there. At the soonest! Then what? Your life does not stop at the point you thought it would. Because your life, feelings and your wandering mind can never stop. They would love, probably. But they can’t. So why bother to run? Or running away?
If things are meant to be yours, they would wait. If the feeling is so strong, it will find the way. No, not you who will find the way. But the feeling itself. But if you are not patient enough to wait, well it is perfectly fine too.

Let go.

Let go of what you want from others. Let go your expectation. Let go of what you want to have and once you ever had. Let go the feeling to control. Feel what you are feeling. Even if it doesn’t stay, be grateful of the moment you had and be open-hearted of not having it again right now. Real things are what you need to have, not the memories. Not the expectation.

Hold on.

To yourself. And get focus about yourself and people or things that make you happy. People or things that motivate you and give you positivity in life. But if you do not have them, … it is fine. You will find them somehow. Embrace the loneliness. The emptiness. The wrongs. Your limitations. Your nemesis deep in you. You have broken. You are nothing but merely pieces. Checkered by failures and stupidities. Blindness. There. Embrace yourself.

Stop.

Stop thinking about the second might come. Stop thinking about the definition of what you are feeling. They are just labels. You cannot think what you are feeling. Just … feel. And admit it.
Stop doing things you don’t want. Stop doing things you don’t know. But if you can’t stop, it’s okay. Do not forget to forgive yourself.

Stay.

Stay where ever you are now. Stay the feeling. And if you are not sure about it, let yourself taste the feeling but do not do anything about it until the right time come. And when is it? When you know. And you will.

Remember.
To do things for yourself. Not for others. Not for us. Be good and take care of yourself. So you can have back your flashy wings to fly."

©www.wulliewullie.blogspot.com

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

love is love. marriage is another thing.

of all the things I ever wondered, ... I think I never wonder whom my kids will be married to. or to picture myself holding grand babies. not just a not yet, I think it is simply too hard to bear and too absurd to think of. but then I promise myself. I promise I will not ever push titan and luna to get married or even if they are married; I will not ask them when to have kids.

many times I wondered that marriage is overrated. and the only reason to get married is not love, but to realise life is too hard to bear when you are all alone. because, however, marriage is a conditional love. hubby once said, marriage is not all fancy and glitter. the lowest it can get is, to keep functioning and it will survive. how both parties can be functional one to another, is another story.

to ariawan, a guy of mine,
the one who always wake me up from my princessy dreams. love you.



Three hours late.

2 AM and I stepped in to the house. Hubby was waiting for me. This was not the first time, and not the latest hour I had ever experienced with over time.

"See you soon Bunda. Or at 8, or at 9, or at 10, or at 11 like you said you would be late." Said my son.

I smiled as I entered the house. I smelled home. I saw my beautiful mess. As I picked up some toys on the floor, I imagined what games the kids had played today. There was a drawing, mini ceramics pots, not too chaotic for kids who were left with nini and aki without nannies.

I also saw their time tables, with some check marks on the list. Those that they weren't checked was the responsibility to wash their own dishes. I saw some dirty cups piling up. I saw the microwave's door left half-opened, a baking sheet and a knife. I wonder what they have cooked.
I also saw minecraft was in active window and some search on youtube and google.

Getting home in this hour and not seeing their faces but seeing all the mess the…

Life. Just like what I wanted.

Tiga belas bulan yang lalu, saya memutuskan untuk kembali bekerja setelah 2,5 tahun jadi freelance (tapi lebih banyak free-nya sih hahaha). Satu-satunya yang bikin saya merasa harus bekerja ya cuma Apple. Sisanya, banyak project yang saya tolak-tolakin karena males aja sih intinya. Belaguk bangetlah pokoknya.

Setelah merasa udah nggak produktif lagi di rumah, otak berasa tumpul dan rasa percaya diri udah nyungsep, saat itulah saya terima tawaran untuk kembali ke advertising. Banyak yang nyinyir sih, menganggap industri itu gelap banget dan ngapain udah enak-enak di rumah kok ya balik ngantor. Alasannya cuma satu: bosen di rumah.

Enggak tahu hal baik apa yang telah saya lakukan dalam hidup, ternyata saya dianugerahi tim yang baiiiiik banget. Anaknya manis-manis, good attitude dan yang paling penting; penuh tanggung jawab. Saya ngerasa banyak belajar dari mereka. Mulai hal baru di luaran sana sampai cara pakai krim mata. Enggak sedikit juga kesedihan yang kita tanggung bareng-bareng, da…