Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from August, 2009

Rain King

I’m the mother earth. The only woman without vagina. I am the only mother with obligations to nurse children who aren’t mine. Not any of them even came out of my womb. I wipe their tears. I watch them play. I feed them. I did not even dare to shed a tear when they gouged me for slender feet of a carrousel. Deeply buried within me. For the children’s laughter to me is the most beautiful song I have ever heard.

And all my life, what I want to taste is the kiss of the Rain King. Even only for a split second, I would give up my all to taste the suck of his lips. I would close my eyes, and would never mind to be blind if I have to. For my eyes will only tell the truth.

I had never seen the king. I do not even know what he looks like. All I know is the moaning sound of the sky, when she and the king are making love. And from beneath, I can only see their sparks of lust. And at that time, I know that the king and sky become one.

But not long after that, the king would cry. He would cry so ha…

air, bejana dan api

air di bejana mendidih
membeleguk di suhu seratus derajat selsius
dan tetap berada di suhu tersebut, apapun yang terjadi

itulah kemarahan.

didihan dibiarkan, lalu uapnya terbang ke udara
dan bejana pun mengering
walau dengan jangka waktu yang lama

itulah melupakan.

air didihan dituang ke cangkir
lebih cepat dingin,
bejana pun lebih cepat mengering.

itulah berbagi.

dan bejana rusak dimakan api
meninggalkan cacat yang lama kelamaan menjadi karat
tapi perlahan, bejana bisa diperbaiki dan dibersihkan

itulah memaafkan.


-intermezo di sela 3 hari hibernasi-

perempuan di titik nol

seorang perempuan terlihat acak-acakan
dia baru saja melaju kencang
memacu kendaraan dengan semangat yang tak terpatahkan
begitu kencang sampai kecelakaan tak lagi dapat terelakkan
ia pun berhenti

ia berada di titik nol.

perempuan yang satu lagi terlihat kelelahan
ia telah melalui perjalanan yang panjang
dengan kemacetan yang begitu membosankan
perjalanan masih belum selesai, namun dia terlalu lelah untuk melanjutkan
ia pun berhenti

ia berada di titik nol.

perempuan yang lain begitu menikmati perjalanan yang menyenangkan
dengan lagu dan angin sepoi-sepoi menyapu rambutnya yang panjang
ia melaju santai, tak terasa angin dan lagu begitu lembut memabukkan
ia pun tertidur di tengah jalan
ia berhenti

ia berada di titik nol.

perempuan terakhir dalam kebingungan
ia pernah melaju kencang
ia pernah terperangkap di kemacetan
ia pernah ketiduran

ia berada di titik nol.

entah ingin berhenti
atau baru saja menepi
atau sebenarnya,
ia belum menyalakan mesinnya

selamat tidur, titan

pejamkan matamu, nak

lalu kuelus lembut alis matamu
dan kau pun menurut
membiarkan tirai-tirai matamu bergelayut

lalu dengar,
dengarkan semua hingar bingar
biarkan telingamu pergi jauh merantau, biarkan mereka meliar

dengar,

dengarkan rintik hujan yang meneduhkan
dengarkan sang rembulan
dengarkan bintang-bintang
dengarkan embun malam di ujung dedaunan
dengarkan katak dan jangkrik bernyanyi
dengarkan dengung mesin-mesin tak bernyawa tapi bisa mati
dengarkan detik waktu
dengarkan pendar lampu
dengarkan doaku
dengarkan degup jantungku

dan jauh, jauh di sana
terus, terus hampiri

ya,
makin dekat
sedikit lagi
bisa kamu dengar, nak?

degarlah,
itu suara hatimu.

i, me and myself

can you imagine living in denial? that you will not be able to sleep, to eat, to think, because of things that keep lingering at the back of your head. and your heart, of course. everything becomes wrong. totally wrong. you are wrong, people are wrong.

and have you ever betrayed yourself? and do you have an idea of how it feels? that you would curse yourself and you will wish that you would rather die for you have no more reasons to live. that you could not even stare at your own eyes because they can see what you feel. and you would rather be blind, for you do not want to see the truth.

have you ever been deaf, that you could not even hear what your heart tells you?
and you start asking yourself what the hell are you doing in here and start asking what ifs.

well,
isn't it just nice if you can make peace with yourself? therefore you can make peace in this universe.

Temui aku lagi di sini (2)

selamat malam,

sampai kaku mulutku lelah ribuan kali menyebut
dan bintang yang biasa kusematkan di matamu, kian meredup
tak lagi pendarnya mampu menemani
dan cerita-cerita yang biasa kubisikkan menumpuk
acak-acakan tak berurutan ujung dan pangkal
tirai antara kamu dan aku yang mendesah hangat seperti sinar mentari pagi
membentang laksana jeda di antara dua galaksi
dan putaran bulan mengitari bumi
melintasi matahari, kini dan nanti
perlahan menggumpal mewujudkan aku dan kamu dalam satuan waktu
dan sinar itu pun melesat diantara kedip mata
menyisakan sedikit rasa
sayapmu yang dulunya kecil kini membentang siap menantang
cukuplah aku mengajarimu tentang kebebasan, seperti kamu mengajariku apa arti pulang

saatnya kamu pergi.

temui aku lagi
di sini

Purnama

matahari sudah lama mati
dan bintang yang biasanya ada di sana, hilang entah kemana
aku memanggil cahaya yang menjawab di ujung purnama
dan ia pun datang membawa keenam saudara kembarnya
dua diantaranya memberiku harapan
dua lagi mengajarkanku untuk memiliki keinginan
dan dua terakhir, memintaku untuk melupakan
apa yang dahulu telah mereka ajarkan

selamat datang, ramadhan :)

Temui aku lagi di sini (1)

selamat pagi,

lalu kukembalikan ke langit bintang yang pendarnya menemanimu semalam
dan kulipat cerita-cerita yang kubisikkan di mimpimu
lalu kubuka tirai harimu
agar hangatnya menjemputmu

sampai nanti,
temui aku lagi
di sini

karma (editted)

after those couple cups of poisons
nicely served upon your face
now it is much easier for you
to spit what you almost chew

i wish you were dead
i wish you were dead
i wish you once again
were dead

so i could meet you
in here
let me show you

it is our next life
and you would lick my wound
and you would wipe the dirt on the top of my corpse
which no longer but a mere mortal
and you would kiss me with your rottened lips
that would taste sweeter like never

and i would hug you with my broken wings
lull you with an eerie fairy song
and i would cut my hand with the sharpest tongue
to fulfill your crave of flesh and blood
until i'm running out of my light

i wish you were dead.

like me.

and we would happily dance together
under the sky of grieve
and a sparkling tear drops

you and me.