Monday, 17 April 2006

old friend

It’s been years.
Probably, … eight years.
We never met, and I’d never wanted to come again after my last visit.
But after weeks of consideration, I finally decided to come here, to Passer baroe, to visit my old friend. Somehow it took me a painful feeling to move my feet toward her house.

I still remember the time I last time I visited her. And I swear to God, I will take care of myself so I don’t have to come here anymore. Cause I am sure, my friend can take care of herself very well.
She didn’t say anything when I said good bye. I mean it. Goodbye means I don’t want to see you again. That’s what mom taught me.

It’s raining outside. Very hard.
I left the office. I ignored jobs. I left my lunch. I am alone but the taxi driver in the middle of the rain, to visit my old friend. And it took us a while to find this house again. The house that I’d visited almost every week for years. Now I forgot where it is. We went to the wrong direction, and I admitted the taxi driver is a brave man. He passes through the ferbodden sign in the middle of the storm. I have to come to see my friend.

Now here I am. In front of the door.
“Welcome and sorry for the mess. Some days it’s even worst” Says the same old tapestry.
I slowly comes in.

This house has so much changed. No more fresh flowers in the living room. No more magz. No more Cable TV. The chair changed, now is a chipo sofa. The posters on the wall, it’s still the same. Now they look so dull. The Jesus is still the same. And it’s the only glossy thing I can see.

Eight years ago. And now I am but an almost 27 years old woman. Married and gain more weight. My old friend is now eight years older, and I am waiting for her to come out.

I have traveled my journey through graduation in academy. Experience my first salary. Get married and lost my baby. And she, … she’s still doing the same thing as she did when I first met her.

I wonder why I didn’t want to visit her again. My friend is a dentist. And I am scared of her.

But today, … I have to.

Oooooooh, … I hate toothache.

And I will have a surgery next week.