Wednesday, October 19, 2005

'Hurt'

Do you believe what happen to you early in the morning, just reflect your day?

Well, I do.

Just like what happened to me today.
As I woke up, I read an sms that was sent about 8 hours ago. It was Astrid who sent me the sms. Astrid is the friend of mine in high school. We'd never a really really close friend, but somehow I feel that we have some kinda connection
(I hope she feels the same way too) :)

I'd got married first, and then Astrid did a few months later. Then we start to look for gynecologist, and decide to go to the same doctor, taking the same tests, having the same disease (rubella), having the same medications that we have to eat four times a day for three months, having the same trembling heart (having great expectation) if the period comes late, … and finally, Astrid’s got pregnant.

I was so happy. Really.

After a few weeks late for period, Astrid went to the doctor to have herself examined.
But sad,the doctor said that her fetus was not growing. So, … they have to let it out. And Astrid did. After some medications she took, the baby slips away.

But something strange happen. As Astrid told me that her stomach is getting big and round, the bleeding has not stopped. The she went back to the doctor, had a USG. And can you imagine, a little cute baby complete with the head, body, hands and feet. It was a twin baby, and one survived.

Astrid told me so happily, and so did I. I thought it was a miracle, … everyone thought it so.

And this morning, Astrid sms me that she lost her 4,5 month baby boy. Without any reason. At least we haven’t found it out until now.

Oh God, I feel that the world fell apart. I imagine how Astrid’s was.

And the sms was just a reflection of my day. Now is 04:15 PM, and I don’t know why my day is stumbling down. Still.

I just want to go home and hug my big 'pumpkin'.

I just want to.

Let's cut the crap from the question of Which Mom Are You?

A few years back, social media was being fussy about working mom versus stay at home home. What a nonsense brag! Since I went through ...